How Do You Save Someone From Themselves

I believe all my stories will run with this ongoing theme cause it is what brung me to search this site out.

here we go


I dont understand the concept of addiction I live with it I see people with them I am no angel myself but I know where the line is my wife doesnt have that she dissapears for days at a time stealing from me her parents her friends I spend everyday trying understand what force could drag a person so low but how do you stop someone from furting everyone in there life and how do you keep supporting that person who has such a blatant disregaurd for you and your entire family


it doesnt feel right to abandon her but its tearing me and my children apart she wont get help for real and its never her fault she turns the addicitoin into an excuse but that gets tired so fast


her family has turned there back on her and I feellike I am all she has left but I cant live with her ******** on us I just dont know what to do


she is always sorry at first its always the last time this time then one drink becomes one bottle  back in one minute becomes gone for hours 20 bucks becomes every penny I have food be dammed diapers be dammed all I get is ooops sorry


its made me not love her she throws my faults in my face but my faults are small I lie but not to hurt I chat but not to cheat she does these things without caring about the end result I like to call it the fuckit syndrome it just hurts always bieng the one picking up the pieces not having a partner I can trust or rely on I feel like I would be better off alone but I know she would end up dead in a gutter or where she is now in jail


so what do I do do I keep trying to save her from the danger that is her or cut ties and let the chips fall where they may


its pretty sad that I am happy when she goes to jail cause she cant hurt anyone in there including herself

blindexplorer blindexplorer
26-30, M
6 Responses Feb 22, 2009


You cannot save another person. You are lucky if you can save yourself.

I also recommend Al Anon--at least to know that you're not alone in your situation and that there are people who have come thru their own trials and who can shine the light for you. Blessings to you and your children. All will be well.

Oh, Precious Heart----and those Precious Hearts who've been there/done that, my own heart goes out to you. Blindexplorer... you are young!!! KatyO is right... alanon might help. As one who grew up in a freak show alcoholic family, all I can say is... protect the kids. That's what is most important. Children can be marked for life. It's like a tatoo... but on the psyche, you know? Adult children of alcoholics carry around a heavy burden of shame for sins they had nothing to do with. IF you can help her, yeah, that'd be cool... but as a parent, your first priority is your child/children. I am sending prayers & hope your way....

I know what you are going through because I was the addict. You can not save her. At least not the way you are trying. j21 is right. you need to put you and your children first. I needed to lose it all before I got my life together. I lost my fiance and my whole life... money everything. <br />
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care taking and enabling to keep her safe is not the answer. taking away what she has seems to be the only answer I have seen work on anyone i know who is or has been an addict. <br />
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I'm sorry you are going through this.

I know what you are going through. I too am married to an addict. His vice is coke. Last year was the worst year of my life. We have a 2 year old and she wont even go to him. On Jan 1st I told him this year was going to be better with or without him. I told him if he didn't get help by Jan 31st he had to leave. He is in a drug treament program now. It is helping. <br />
You just have to do what is best for you and your children. I know it is hard, but you can't live your life like you are. Trust me I worried what would happen to him if he didn't get help, but it was up to him. He isn't my responsibility, he is a grown man. I hope things get better for you.