My Sexless Marriage - It Took 20 Years For Me To Find Out What Is Wrong
I've been in a sexless marriage
for 20 years and have sought help for my loneliness for the last 10 years. No one ever mentioned asexuality to me, I talked to therapists, counselors, clergy. They all suggested that either something was wrong with our relationship or my husband was a latent homosexual. We tried marriage counseling and it made me crazy, I felt like no one could hear me. I tried and tried to figure our relationship out and make it better but nothing worked. It's not just the sex, it's a lack of passion, intimacy, deep caring. It's been such a lonely and difficult road. Finally, a few days ago I heard the term "asexual" and researched it online. That's it, that's the problem, I'm sure of it. I mentioned the term to my husband, outside of the context of our marriage, just to plant a seed. He vehemently responded with "That's not me! I desire you! You read too much." I'm so discouraged, I really need people to talk to. I'd love to talk to women who found out late and can tell me how they dealt with it, how their spouses responded when it was finally figured out. I don't know where to go from here, I don't want to stay in a lackluster marriage.