At The End Of My RopeMy Husband is a Vietnam War Veteran and he was wounded while serving over there. He is in his middle 60's and I am 49. We have been together for 4 1/2 years. The first two years were "okay", but these last 2 1/2 have been hell. He is like Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde and I never know what kind of mood he is going to be in when he walks in or out the door. He will be fine one minute, and moody and hateful the next. He is going to PTSD group sessions at the local Vet Center here in town. We are also going to marriage counseling once a week for the last 6 weeks. I am about to lose my mind. I walk around on egg shells most of the time, but there are times when I just get sick of his attitude and I stand up for myself and the argument is on. Enough is enough. I want to have empathy for him but there are times when I just can't muster the understanding. Who is there for me helping me? Noone.
I want to leave him every other day. But I can't. I love him, and the guilt of leaving him kills me. But living with him and his mood swings are also killing me. My counselor gave me a book called "Tears of a Warrior" that will shed some light on PTSD. I've had it for several weeks and can't bring myself to open it. Why? Because I'm tired of his PTSD. I'm tired of dealing with his "moods" and everything that goes along with it. I wish he would have given me a book on how to Cope with someone with PTSD. I already know the symptoms and the triggers, hell I live it daily!!! Does it get any better? Is this it for me? Will I always have to go to counseling with him and sit and watch him go down hill? His depression and lack of interest of everything other than sports is driving me nuts. And forget about having family time. Or friend time. Especially US time.
Try getting close to someone who has PTSD. Not very fun. They are limited on how much they are willing to give back. It's not fair. I married him for better or for worse and I want to stick it out, but it's getting harder and harder with every breath I take. Someone please give me some advise I can use. I am sooooooooooo at the End Of My Rope with PTSD!!!
vietnamptsd 46-50, F 1 Response 1 Nov 2, 2010