Sit Tight, This Is a Long One

I grew up with a very protective mother. I grew up not knowing what sort of evil existed in this world. My husband, unfortunatly, wasn't as lucky. He had a really horrible childhood. He was abused my his mother, physically. She would beat him with sticks, spank him with extention cords, spank him in the shower with belts, she stuffed his mouth with paper towels once so he would stop crying. She was just a bad mom all around. At school a couple of the teachers would pick on him. One of those teachers was dying of cancer years later and called him up when he was a teenager to ask for his forgiveness. She new she had been wrong and reached out to him on her death bed. Of course he forgave her so she could die in peace but the damage was already done. He went to counselors cause he was a "troubled child" and was told by these profesionals that he was a lost cause. No one stopped to try and figure out what was wrong with him. Why did he act out? Why did he seem so angry? They just enjoyed picking on this little boy for some reason. If they had stopped and paid attention they would have found out that he had been sexually molested when he was around 4 years old. His mom left him and his sister with a random couple so she could work. She didn't know these people but dumped her kids on them anyway. No one knew until he told us about 6 years ago what happened to him and his sister. She was too young to remember. My Mother-in-law admitted to me that she walked into the babysitters house and caught the man with her daughter. He had her half naked on the couch and he was touching her. She told me that she didn't say anything to my father-in-law because she knew she would never hear the end of it. How stupid is that? She caught someone hurting her daughter and she said nothing. She was more afraid of getting an ear full from her husband that the welfare of her children. Besides all of that, my husband turned his life around all on his own. He joined the military to provide for us and also to keep him on the straight and narrow. Then he was deployed to Afghanistan. 15 months of hell. I seriously thought I was going to lose him. He lost it mentally over there. It's too much to explain, I don't know where to start. He was in an IED explosion and was knocke out for several minutes, the guys thought he was dead. He didn't respond when they tried to wake him up. His weapon bent and broke in his hands from the force of the explosion. He saw and had to move dead bodies, no not bodies, pieces of bodies. He was so disoriented that he would run around asking people random questions, he would ask for me like if I was just there and couldn't find me. He fell out of a watch tower 2 stories on to his back. So much happened to him. My fingers can't type fast enough. Now he's home and he is still suffering. We can't be in public with him cause he isn't comfortable. He can't be in a dim room, he's get panicky. He jumps at loud noises. He heard a fire cracker go off last summer and he ducked behind our truck and positioned his hands like if he had his weapon. He has something growing in his lungs and heart. He has a cyst in his brain. He lost some hearing. He gets these bubbles in his eye balls. He has daily migranes. He had a hernia. He's depressed. He has night terrors. He wakes up screaming. I don't know what to do. He's in the hospital right now. Mental health floor. I don't know what to do. I still love  him no matter what. He's the love of my life. I won't let PTSD take him from me. I just won't.    

Queen82 Queen82
26-30, F
2 Responses Mar 7, 2009

Oh honey, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of that! It sounds like you're doing quite an admirable job, though, so keep it up and we'll all be wishing you good luck.

A lot about your post stuck out for me-my fiancé already has PTSD from childhood abuse as well, and he's more than likely leaving for a tour next fall. I'm terrified thinking about how it's going to affect him with the amount he's already been through :(

May everything in the Earth send you the correct aid for this situation. Hugs, LW