So here's the thing.  I got pregnant.  Yeah, I'm cool like that.  So I got married.  I always wanted to be a mom and a wife.  Well... part of me wanted that.  The other part of me wanted the polar opposite.  But what was done was done, and I had made my bed and had to lie in it. 

So.  It's been 7 years.  That 7 year itch?  It really happens.  Except there's no steroidal cream that will help this.  So lately I'm re-evaluating what I want - from him, from life, from myself.  And that's where I'm at.

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7 Responses Nov 30, 2006

Selfishness is a bad word. You need to tell your husband everything you feel. He probably wonders about all of this as well. 7 years isn't much time, you can challenge your marriage by becoming really open about your dreams and desires and start realizing them. By calling the question, you can turn it around and make your life fulfilling. Fix it or break it up. Don't worry about the kids. If you really try to revive your marriage now and you both should decide that you can't continue, your kids will cope. But chances are good you can come to a new level if you address this issue sincerely and without holding back. Just do it now and don't wait till its too late. <br />
<br />
Here is an idea: you are obviously bored. So it all could start by you writing your intimate fantasies of a hot and fulfilled life that feels like life into some sort of diary and by "accident" leave it for him to read. If he is a man who deserves you, he will pick up on this.

Come on lapetite get real. Since when is it wrong for a person to want to have a fulfilled life. Sex, marriage kids, etc. You said people should stay together for the kids and stop being selfish. That's<br />
bull. She isn't being selfish. <br />
<br />
Girl... please read some of the stories in ILIASLM group and then YOU make the decision that's best for you and your situation. Good luck.<br />
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BTW, I've been in a sexless marriage for almost 10 years. and it sucks. It's no way to live, trust me.

well, i am sorry for the situation you all seem to be in. but jtab4995, i speak from personal experience. my parents got a divorce after me, their youngest of 4 children finally graduated highschool. it didnt make it any easier on me because i was an adult. not to mention my parents did a crappy job at hiding their true feelings for one another during mine and my sisters youth. i'm not saying what you are doing is wrong. on the contrary, its wonderful that you are putting your children before yourself. just brace yourself for the unexpected. its been 7 yrs since my parents divorce, i have come to terms with it. my sister, however, still has severe animosity towards my mother in particular, for being the one who initiated the break up. but i do wish you the best of luck for the road ahead of you. and i wish the best of luck to the rest of you who seem to be unhappy in your current situations.

be glad you made it to seven most don't last past three like me, my advise is try telling the truth to one another that would spice things up

Yeah, you can and do get bored with your spouse. But once you have kids, you should consider them first. It was believed for a long time that if the parent wasn't happy, the kids weren't happy, so the parents should get divorced. More recent studies show that children are happier when their parents stay together. Unless there is violence toward the children or a spouse, the kids are better off when the parents are a little less selfish.

I am glad you mentioned violence, because divorce is emotional violence for all the parties concerned.

Do I agree with BennyBoy... the only difference is, there was no happiness from the beginning - for me, at least. I was miserable all through... and the only reason I am still married to him is because he impregnated me in the first month (oops... I came inside!) and I wouldn't kill my baby... and then again again when my daughter was 9 months old... there were many times when I was very close to breaking free... but it was mainly my family that kept telling me to give him another chance... and he too would "blow hot... blog cold"... and so I have spent 7 years in confusion and fear... don't know how much longer before I finally break free...

WOW!! I thought I was writing this story!! But guess what happened after my 7 year itch? Got married--AGAIN-- and had another child!! Those itches sure can become a pain!!

frying pan into the fire, I was warned about that phenomena. thanks for the post.