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Married But Loanley

I have 4 grat kids a sexless marriage and my wife is a recovering alcoholic it isn't easy any body have advice
paulzachary69 paulzachary69 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 10, 2012

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coooooooooould always try phone sex :D hahaha

Do what you've done here.......reach out.<br />
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Having some time for an activity you like to do to recharge your batteries is also a good thought.<br />
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I applaud your efforts and desire to hang in there. There are too many fatherless families already, where kids don't grow up with a masculine influence in their lives.<br />
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You are demonstrating to your kids great perseverance, loyalty, integrity, compassion.<br />
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It's hard to offer advice when there isn't much to go on about what it is you are struggling with. If it's mainly the sexless aspect of the relationship with your wife can you say what you've tried to encourage a better connection? Having 4 kids takes lots of energy, time, patience, and often leaves little time or privacy for yourselves.<br />
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Stress can be a real sex killer.<br />
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Do you have relatives who can watch the kids for a weekend so you can be at home together or away for a break? When my former wife and I arranged this, all we wanted to do was sleep! Eventually we got to talking, and realised that we were both depressed and need more help.<br />
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Happy to hear more privately if you prefer.<br />
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Keep well....good luck

It sounds like you have your work cut out for you! But there is only so long you can be a superhero for... So, my advice is that you need to allocate a certain time each week, maybe an hour or more, to do something that is just for pleasure. By that, I mean that you enjoy doing the thing itself, not just the end result.<br />
Meditation every day, even for 10 minutes in the morning, also helps.<br />
I know this sounds unattainable but you have to put some effort into anything to get results. And what is more important than yourhealth/happiness? You're the lynchpin of your family so you need to look after yourself.