Marriage Is Long Term

I've been married to the same woman for a long time. Over 30 years and still counting. I had a real story in my mind when I decided to post this but it suddenly eludes me at the moment. Mostly I just wanted to say a long term marriage is hard work and shouldn't be cast aside when things are perfect.

Is any marriage perfect?  I seriously doubt that is possible. The dynamics of the relationship is always changing and I understand that but reestablishing your own perspective in a good way is difficult. I keep telling myself it'll get better. Will the desire she once had for me ever reappear again. Is this as good as it gets?

Then you sit back and wonder what we've accomplished so far in my lifetime and it can be quite amazing. Our grown kids still like us, if that's a good barometer then we've done something right. I still love my wife and believe she loves me... but its still just different. Can you really stay the same lomg term?
PC2629 PC2629
56-60, M
2 Responses May 22, 2012

I have been married 30 years soon...I am truly madly in love (romantic love) with my husband. I respect him for his labor, for his support, for his encouragement, for his unconditional love of me. He is the kindest, most cheerful man, he's fun to be with, he looks into my eyes and I get lost inside of him, sexually and emotionally. He's bright, he's thoughtful, he's spiritual, he's devoted, he has bright red hair, he's everything I ever wanted in a man! We've had tragedy, we've faced truly hard financial times as well, at one time we worked five jobs between us to survivie. In 2007, we lost our baby girl to a tragic illness at age 22, our son fought in two wars, our eldest daughter had four miscarriages, life has not been easy, but, the one thing we have always had when all else was lost, (and at times, all else was lost) was a deep and abiding love and respect for each other. A respect for the tender parts of one another. I think of him at work and my stomach gets butterflies, even today. I hear his voice and my eyes light up, it is possible to stay in love when two people care deeply and put nothing else above their love.

It goes to show that your marriage is indeed very valuable to you. You reap most of its rewards and you appreciate the moments that will help define you.

Yes it is, thank you.

I have been happily married for 32 years. We are still best friends, lovers, and happiest when we are together. I have been so thankful for such a good partner. We have been able to accomplish so much because we support each other's dreams. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

I have been married a long time too. I'm of the opinion that nothing can remain the same long term-it either nourishes or diminishes. I'm still very much in love with my husband and he knows that too. But sometimes it is not easy;)

Marriages seem to change over time... It seems your view is not so different than mine.