This Is The Sickness And In Health Part

My husband and I have been married for 33 years and have been together for 37. About 4 1/2 years ago he had brain surgery and heart surgery then heart surgery again last year. I love my husband very much but, "our married life" is gone I feel very lonely he sleeps a lot and is in bed by 8:30. He has changed so much. He once was a controller of a larger company with a staff of 200 people now if I leave the room he calls me. My life has gotten smaller and smaller. I miss talking to my best friend. He doesn't understand most of what is on tv and I find myself explaining everything. He says he is fine but he really is not. I went to the doctor for a check up and on my chart they have me down as his "long term care provider" I know it's true but I didn't need it pointed out some days just suck
Ahdeci Ahdeci
56-60, F
3 Responses Jul 31, 2012

Thank ,its nice to have someone to talk to. Hubby is sleeping in the other room and I'm alone again. I miss so many things about us. I feel to young to give up. Im 56 and I miss my life.<br />
I want sex, fun, conversation, intimacy. We are together 24/7 and he looks like my husband but he really is not anymore . I hate the way I feel. He can do somethings (like drive) but he gets tired a lot and I have tried to talk to him but he just says "your right" and nothing changes. I'm not always this down I work from home and run my own business (pottery) so I do have an outlet. I wish he would like to help but he really doesn't want to ,so I end up working around him . We were good together once, I really miss that. I just don't know if this is normal and I need to get over myself and take him as he is and stop looking for who he was.

This is the time in our lives we are suppose to look forward to kids grown and gone house paid for time to take it easy and have fun! The closer i get to retirement the more scared i am of thing happening to me and i won't be able to do all the things i want! Life sucks sometimes you work your *** off and this happens to you! My heart goes out to you sweetie!

Just two years before getting married, my grandmother passed away. My grandfather was there for her taking care of her to the last. He did some pretty radical things to keep her going day to day.<br />
One of the questions I asked myself before committing was if I could really take care of this man for the long haul. Was I going to be ok if some day he couldn't wipe himself after going to the bathroom? Would I be ok if he was unable to work or even to really remember much of our life? <br />
Thankfully I haven't been tested on these things, and I'm not going to pretend that I'd pass with ease, as I really have no idea how hard that life can be. <br />
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It's a hard road, and it's amazing to hear how long you have dealt with this situation gracefully.<br />
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I hope you find peace in your life soon.