Married 10 Years & I Still Feel Inadequate
I married an amazing man. He is a great father, excellent provider, kind, outgoing, loyal,athletic, & very good-looking. I on the other hand am short, average in looks, chubby, very shy & introverted, not anyone you'd notice for any reason. Even when we were dating and I was physically my most attractive, it was obvious he was out of my league. I even had some rude people tell me so. I should feel great that I got such a catch, right? It makes me so unhappy sometimes i can't stand it. I know it might be superficial to be fixated on feeling like this, but I can't help it. I try to be a good wife and mother, we have problems like everyone does, but our sex life is good and he is truly my best friend. Even after 10 years I still have this fear he's going to come to his senses and realize he could get a far more beautiful, graceful,fun women that shared more of his interests. After I had the kids now my weight is really out of control, he's very supportive, sometimes I push him away because I can't stand the guilt of letting him down. I love going out when its just me & the kids , but when he's with me people notice him then they see me & that look (more from other woman than men) is so judgmental it hurts so much. I know I shouldn't care what other people think but it just affirms what I'm feeling. I'm at a point right now where I won't go out when its just him&I. The worse I feel the less I take care of myself, now I'm in this vicious cycle and I can't bear it anymore. If I can't improve soon I don't think I can go on like this. I've prayed, tried therapy, even had weight loss surgery but I failed at that too . Please some comments or advice.