Unconventional... For the Time

I met my wife online.
It was the late 90's...when the internet was becoming something big.  Browser wars were still in full swing.  The evils of Microsoft had yet to fully blossom.
I was attending university in Canada when a friend introduced me to the wonderful world of Mu*s.  I met my wife on a now defunct MUSH named Nails.  Great environment.  At that time in my life I was still trying to find out who I was... I was never the popular type.  Far from it.  I was the geeky outcast.  Being a total geek in your 20's (which I was at the time) is tough.  She (and many other people) helped me find out where I fit in the world.
It took years for my wife and I to progress to a serious relationship.  It is not like what you see on Springer... we spent lots of time travelling to and fro (she's from the US).  Her father threatened to disown her for coming to see me.  He hasn't yet.  In fact, other than we have little in common, I think he likes me.
In the end, we were lucky.  I wasn't a rapist or a murderer (her parent's fears) and she wasn't some sort of freak desperate for something.  Instead, we helped each other grow as individuals, and as a couple.

We just celebrated our 9th anniversary and both of our children's birthdays (6 and 2).

So... if you take it careful and slow, it can work.  And work well.
CptNemo CptNemo
31-35, M
14 Responses Aug 1, 2007

Wow, it was almost like I was reading our story!<br />
We met online in the now defunct "Voxchat" chatroom. It was a complete accident. I am English and lived in England, I used Voxchat to chat to my brother who lived in Germany. My wife was living here in Pennsylvania USA and used Voxchat to chat with her sister who was away in college. One Friday night, November 1997 our siblings were AWOL and we started chatting. <br />
She visited me in England for six months, I had a business that I couldn't leave at that time.<br />
We got engaged a year to the day on which we had first started chatting. <br />
We got married one month and one day after that on December 12th 1998, in Gretna Green, Scotland (we even hired the services of a bagpiper for the morning)<br />
We arrived here to celebrate our wedding with the American family. We had a return ticket to go back to England in three weeks. A guy at the reception was one of the owners of a local business and like my speech and me in general so he offered me a job. I said I didn't plan on staying but thanked him. By the time I got back to the in-laws less than fifteen minutes later, the offer had been upped, more benefits too, so I said ok.<br />
After six years going through the immigration process, I finally got my green card.<br />
We just celebrated 11 years of marriage, and every day it gets better and better. No kids yet, but we have a kitten :-)<br />
The internet is another way of meeting people and yes, it is certainly a lot more organized and respectable now. In the end, people are people, there are good and bad people the world over. Thankfully the good far outweigh the bad. I couldn't advise actively looking for the right person on the internet any more than anywhere else, after all, I wasn't even looking when I found my wife.<br />
So, if you are going to not go looking for the person of your dreams, do so with caution...and good luck to you :-)<br />

I met with my hysband online a bit more than 2 years ago !I didn't think that it possible.And now I'm happy.<br />
Have a good life CptNemo

Mammutsnude:<br />
The moving part was hard. We got married in my wife's hometown with all her friends and family (and some of mine, of course).<br />
After the honeymoon, we moved to Canada with everything that would fit in her hatchback. It was very hard on her as she was leaving everything she knew to be with me. It was an enormous sacrifice. We picked Canada to start because I had a half-decent job to support us. We were much closer to my family than hers though.<br />
In the end we moved to the US. It worked out best for both of us. We are living in more neutral territory (read: roughly 1/2 way between my family and hers), and we left behind my baggage in Canada and her baggage in Canada and her hometown and started our lives as a unit.<br />
<br />
Hope that helps explain...

I have a friend who was involved in an online relationship for several years. I had no idea they met online. They married about six years ago.<br />
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I had one almost relationship. It never worked out. We wanted different things, but I have never given up on possibly meeting 'the one' online. I'm still waiting for someone. Maybe someday.

What about the moving part? I was in an online relationship and I confess I still love the person but we lived too far away and couldn't deal with the distance.

Ah, my husband and I have been together 9 years. Yes we are another internet couple as well. I believe the thing to do is to be open, honest and cautious all at one time. Be sure if your meeting for the first time...do it in a VERY public place. then just be adult about it.

Thank you for all your positive comments.<br />
I know that there are lots of wonderful men and women on the internet... the problem is that they are as afraid of you as you are of them! :)<br />
It took me a long time to win my now-wife's heart, and even longer to realize that I *had* won that heart.<br />
<br />
To update everyone, we just celebrated our 10th anniversary!<br />
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I think the secret is to take it slow when it progresses from online to the real world. I've seen many horror stories about people 'jumping the gun' and racing into the real relationship... there's a large difference between those two states.

As a living example of the wrong things that can happen when you meet people on the internet, i love to hear stories about when things go right :-D<br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing!

This is a lovely story. I'm in an online relationship, and I'll try what you said and see what happens. Thanks. :)

Congrats!! My husband and I met on line also. We've been together 7 years and just had our first anniversary!

Congrats!! My husband and I met on line also. We've been together 7 years and just had our first anniversary!

How nice to hear a story with a happy ending, I am glad everything worked out for you both and you found happiness, and congratulations on your 9th anniversary.

That's great. You can't blame her parents for their fears, though the threat was a bit over the top. Unfortunately the bad stories we hear of out number the good.<br />
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I see the web as just another way for people to meet, and in my experience, friendlier than the local night clubs in my area.

Lovely story .. thank you for sharing it.<br />
There are many people still afraid of the internet and 'the type' of people you can meet on there. But it is an old fashioned idea now as it has become 'respectable' to meet people and make friends online. You were way ahead of most of us!!