In our first year of being married, I got in touch with my ex with whom i had a very messy ending. We got in touch when my husband had gone traveling (without me yes.. maybe that triggered the need to get in touch with my ex)... I told him when he got back that i recently got in touch with 'N' and that i really wanted to keep in touch to which he agreed at that point and then raised a fuss, i kept talking for sometime .. strictly as friends till he duped me again even in the capacity of a friend... thats when i admitted to my husband that he was always right but to this date he calls that "cheating" him and breaking his trust..... what do i do other than ignore his comments?
Mysticme Mysticme
31-35, F
4 Responses Aug 20, 2014

I am in my first year of marriage and my wife did something similar. She started talking with her ex and I was ok with it as she said it was just talk. But the talks evolved into an emotional relationship and the. Eventually into a sexual relationship. I love my wife so much and the amount of pain it brought down on me is indescribable, it felt like the person I trust and rely on the most betrayed me. Relationships evolve past where we sometimes assume they shouldn't, if you are true to your marriage you need to listen to your husband and understand why he feels that way. Trust is very hard to win back, love is even harder.

I'm so sorry u got hurt so bad.... He's a possessive man and for him my contact with the ex was not acceptable ... But he knows I learnt my lesson even in trying to keep the ex as a friend ... I admit it was a mistake.
I hope u can build ur relationship back to the same level of love and trust.

Ignore his comments? You have got to be kidding.

You could always just go ahead and get the divorce now instead of dragging out a bad marriage. Based on your attitude, you have no business being married. You have no idea about honesty or loyalty, and seem to have no compunction against cheating. Reaching out to your ex-husband simply because you felt slighted for being left behind by your now husband on a business trip clearly demonstrates an incredible level of immaturity for someone your age. No wonder you are divorced.

You very badly need to grow up lady.

Not on a business trip... You're making assumptions... Anyways thanks for ur response, gives me a different perspective to think about

move past it and let it die...

I've made the same mistake reconnecting with an ex. My wife knew I was talking to her, just catching up but when it went to private emails that got deleted she assumed the worst, thought I didn't love her and was scared to death I would leave... It tore her apart and no matter how many times I've apologized and reassured her, she didn't trust me! It takes time!