Staying Married For the Wrong Reasons

You already know what you want to do, you already know you are full of excuses and not solutions. You know in your heart that you need to leave, otherwise you wouldnt have even considered it... Getting the courage to walk away will probably be the hardest thing you will ever have to do, but looking back, it could be the best decision you ever could make for yourself in the long run. How many more years will you live so miserably? You earn a good salary, get yourself a place to stay, that allows dogs. you can do it on your own. and be Happy! It wont be easy, but eventually time heals all wounds.

The first question you need to ask yourself is if you are willing to try and make it work. The both of you are still with each other for your children, yes. But you know, in this day, divorce is almost cool. And step parents are not at all uncommon. There has to be something else that is keeping the two of you together...aside from the house and dog...and whatever else you can excuse it with. I mean, it may just be me, but I could not tolerate the situation. I would be out of the door, and hope that my kids could someday understand. Although, I would first want them to see that I had tried. Then they could look back and see that I took a stand for them and for myself and for their father... and I tried to save it...and respect me more for that; than sticking around and living a form of death. Have you talked about counciling? I think that would be a good step in the right direction....but only after you ask yourself the question, "Do I want to make this work?" And he needs to ask himself the same question. Otherwise, I agree with RIAAA. Look towards the sun. This is your life, darlin, .and it is sooo verrrry precious.. Live it happily, with strength. Fight for it and those who fight for yours. Good luck on your journey, Chichadee!!

Hi.I have a similar situation at my house as well..My parents have also been married for the last 25 years and been in a loveless marriage..(it was an arranged one) & had me and my younger sister.My mother too has been a good wife to my father.. When we were young my father was duped by his own father and had to start a living by scratch..they were terrible times and my mother could walk out on him but instead she stood by him through thick and thin.Today my father has built his empire on his own accord! But sadly not his family..

I grew up listening to my parents fighting all the time .. my mother always tried to make him understand that she needed to spend time with him.( my father never ever took the initiative to take mum out or spend any time with her) When i heard their arguments i always wondered how my dad cold be so cold ?????

Today i am 23! Since the last 4 years i cant tell you the neumerous occasions i have fought with my father for being so cold & unemotional. But nothing has changed!!!

I always wished my mother would walked out on him, but she never could or would , firstly because she is not independent (home maker) and secondly from the fear of what the society would say..

Today my mother is in depression !! She has lost her strength to start from the scratch, she doesnt have a life!!! i love my mother a lot and i do everything in my power to make up for the missing love.. i plan to start a business with her as soon as i complete my studies.. but for that she has to believe in her self and make an attempt to make changes in her life..

I beleive each one of us has the power to change the situation we are in.. if you really don't want to continue your relationship with your husband please start pursuing something you are interested in and work towards it. Belive me its never too late for anything in life.. If the relationship is draining out your spirt let go of it!! I hope you find the strength to build your life afresh!!!! Lots of luck!!! ria