Husband Forgot My Birthday.

So it's my birthday, and my husband tells me "when you get home from work, you will have lots of gifts to open". I get home from work...and nothing. Not even a card. He says what he ordered for my birthday should arrive tomorrow. I said "ordered? When did you order my gift". He says yesterday. He shopped for my gift the day before....on the Internet.  

I asked him why I didn't get a birthday card, to which he replies "well, anytime we send a card, you always pick them out". What the heck??? It's my first birthday as a married couple, and I get nothing??? He doesn't understand why I am upset. To add, what he ordered ended up getting cancelled by the store. So he took me to the store to buy the gift the weekend after my birthday.

I felt like he forgot about me....I just needed to vent about it.

Linszw5v Linszw5v
26-30, F
52 Responses Oct 15, 2007

Add a response...well, my birthday is today!! My husband of 35 years forgot my 60th birthday. I was heart broken, I have always made a very big thing about his birthday. No cake, no gift, nothing. I will plan what ever that person wants to eat, a special meal. I make the whole day about how important they are in this world. I even put the date on the calendar, remind him . I tell him , oh, it is almost my birthday. He had no excuses, and yes I have every right to be upset. Why can't I just have one day, just one day to be special. After all these years together, my birthday is right after Christmas.

Oh my - and he has no clue why he's in doo doo?? While I don't think he forgot about you, his execution may be a bit lacking. Perhaps a time management planner, with notes to get presents BEFORE the event might save his hide in the future...

Wow I'm glad I'm not the only one. Literally today is my birthday and he just bought himself the new iPhone 6 while my phone doesn't work. I got nothing at all no card nothing from our three kids I know money is tight and he works alot but watchig him upgrade his phone when I can't with mine sucks. Not to mention this isn't the first time last year he did
n't realize it was my birthday till a family friend texted him askig what kind of suprise he had for me. Also no dinner nothing. In the last four years I've gotten one thug for Christmas. Nothing for my birthdays anniversary mothers day wtf. I always manage to make sure he gets something from me and the kids why can't he have the same consideration for his wife.

It's just stuff. Did he give you a hug and a kiss? Did he hold you? Make dinner or do something else for you? Did he help you with the dishes, hold you at night. Did your anger make a space between the two of you in bed?

It is just stuff.

I suppose I would rather a big hug and a kiss.. maybe dinner or at least helping me in the kitchen with it. I would rather him pull me into the room and kiss me senseless and tell me he missed me, loves me.

My fiancee forgot my birthday this morning. He has been complaining all week about not being able to get me a decent present because the shops shut as he finishes work. That was true. But he has had plenty of time before that.That I could get over easy, its just a gift. I share a birthday with my sister in law(to be) and her baby is being induced today too, so its not like there weren't reminders. He just got up, got ready for work as normal and left. At about 10am he calls me to apologise for forgetting, but he acts like it isn't a big deal and then when I tell him I'm upset he actually blamed me because I was in bed while he was getting ready to go to work. But at least he sort of remembered. except he didn't, his brother called him to remind him because his partner (who is the one with the same birthday and having a baby on the same day) had called me to tell me happy birthday and I was in tears.He lied and then admitted to lying. Now he is coming home early from work and I just don't know what to do. He feels awful, and he is going to try to make it up to me, but how? All I wanted was some affection and care, not gifts and things. Its the first birthday that has come around since we moved in together and I am just devastated. I am stuck at home alone and we live out of town.

My husband forgot my birthday in our first year of marriage . My birthday was two days ago and unfortunately we are not in the same countries at the moment .He was online all day on whats-app but didn't say anything at all until the next day in the morning . All he could say is that i sent the message through but was not delivered , knowing him he would have asked why i have not responded to his message. He didn't have money to call but surprisingly he had hosted a party the night before. When i told him how hurt i was he started shouting at me as to why i ignored him after he apologized and even used the "f"word. I am deeply hurt because once you allow someone to treat you a certain way , they will treat you like crap through out.

Yesterday was my birthday, 2nd year of marriage, i was working night duty, I didn't get any greeting till 11:00pm when I told him my youngest sis inviting me for a late dinner, he asked the reason I told him to celebrate my birthday, he remained silent for a while then he burst y I'm going out late night & when I'll b bk, imagine!! I was ready with my makeup and dressed up hair done, he warnning me 2 b n the house by 12 midnightšŸ˜³ I just called my sister & canceled everything, starting taking out my clothes, he came asken me 2 not, holding my hand preventing me fromdoen it I just change my clothes with fully teared eye. I bang the door went downstairs crying loadly alone,

I've 4 months baby boy from him, I just don't feel myself with him anymore, he is unresponsible , immature, selfish, controlling personality,, I've been so sick after the delivery that I required immediate hospitalization in icu after my c-section, till this day he never helped me with his baby, he never offer a travel to improve my mental health after all wht I went through, then After 3 months I returned bk 2 work with disparate soul, no motivation,

I don't feel him anymore, & he don't put an important towards my feelings
What should I do?

Different people expecting different things.
My birthday, he didn't Even mention anything, nothing at all, as if just normal day. My family? Non of them greet me.
Then, after mid night at 1am, my tears greet me until 4am+

Just to add on, I'm married for two years and with a one year old son now

Your husband is an insensitive ***. You need to let him know that he disappointed you and give him a date to make it up to you and set the expectation for him. Spell it all out since he seems to be inept as to what the standard protocol is when you celebrate one's birthday. 1. He says Happy Birthday! 2. He gives you a card #3. He gives you a gift that is Wrapped. #4. You have a cake with candles and he sings to you. If he doesn't make up for it, then there's a problem. It's only your first birthday as husband and wife and if you allow the way he handles your birthday to be acceptable in his eyes, then you will be in for a lifetime of crap birthdays. I'm sorry that you weren't celebrated the way you should have been. Everyone deserves a fuss. :)

How about, my wife didn't bother with my birthday. She had an injury and I spent over two months taking care of her. My birthday comes around and all I get is 'happy birthday'. She asked a friend if he was coming over and could he bring a cake. I had to get my own gift. The worst part, this isn't the first time she's done this and I did say something the last time it happened. At least you had something ordered you.

I just had my birthday last Friday and my husband didnt say happy birthday to me the entire day. He didnt even get me a card, nothing. I'm a very simple person, a card makes me so happy, and I dont ask for anything more. It's not a complicated thing to buy things for me anyways, it's not like I was asking for Diamonds or Jewelery.
He didnt say Happy Birthday to me until TWO DAYS after my birthday, and it was at 9pm....right before he went to bed!!

My little sister, who is out of state in college, drove down to see me for my birthday weekend, which was great and detered me from being upset that he forgot my birthday.

We have been married for 7 years and he hasnt forgotten a birthday yet. When I confronted him as to why he forgot, he said that since we are together "all the time" (we work for the same company, and drive to work together) he said it was too hard to surprise me when he did remember and he couldnt get away to get me something, and then after that he just forgot about my birthday altogether.

I told him that that is such a lame reason, and it's just lazy.

He has had numerous opportunities to get out and shop for me, and I wouldnt even question it. There were also many times where he went and did the grocery shopping by himself (we have a newborn and 3 year old, sometimes grocery shopping just cant happen with the kids) so his excuse of not being able to is complete crap.

Our wedding anniversary is coming up next week, I wonder if he will remember that?!

Mine forgot until a friend reminded home when we were all out to dinner. Instead of truing to make it up to me he went out with his friends till 1 am. He has now been mad at me all day now. I don't expect anything cause he always forgets dates but I am so annoyed that he is the one mad today

A very similar thing happened to me yesterday. It was my first birthday being married to my husband and he completely forgot. He called me several times throughout the day to ask me to pick up milk, remind me to feed the pets after work, etc. but never said Happy Birthday once. I got home to find that he had made a very expensive purchase for himself without talking to me about it first. I told him how hurt and disrespected I felt by how he had acted on my special day. He then got very mad at me for trying to "control his life." He never apologized and ignored me for the rest of the night. It sucks to be made out to be the bad guy, especially on your Birthday.

My husband forgot my birthday but remebers a game I had preordered for him a month ago and is planning to go to Georgia for his cousins birthday in July 2013. It is November 2012. I am so hurt. He laughs about it then says cuz he is the breadwinner he is trying to keep money in our bank account.
When I was a the breadwinner I never forgot a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Thanks for making me feel special.

I've been married 25 years. Today is my 50th birthday, a fairly special one in league with 18 and 21 and less scary than 30 or 40.

My husband forgot. After 25 years, he forgot.

Forgot the first one after getting married, not a good sign, in 28 years of marriage I have never forgotten a birthday or an anniversary, tell him needs to buy you something very nice and very expensive, tell him jewelry is always a good choice, and he can't lose if he buys diamonds

My first birthday as a couple was also a bomb. He even asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said surprise me because I don't even know what he can afford since I am not allowed on bank accounts or see what he only wants me to see. He sneaks around with his accounts, talking on a second phone to the ex-wife and god knows who else and is a deceptive person. Christmas was the same way when we were together but not married and I just cooked. The day after my birthday, I did laundry, because it had piled up because I did not have the means because I have not found work. I was invited to get the groceries. He cheaped out on our wedding and did not take us overnight anywhere which I did hint that I wanted to go somewhere together, overnight for a couple of days and make a memorable experience. He did nothing and I feel it is because I am currently unemployed.<br />
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Of course I did not feel like cooking, so he did take me out the next day more because he likes to eat out and it was the same old crap. He shovels it in and has often told me that he likes to be waited on and likes to tip big while I go around with no money in my pocket. After I expressed that he did nothing when I had said surprise me, then he left on the table a cheap 99 cent birthday card with just my name on the envelope and his name inside, not even any effort to write more. I threw it in the trash three days later when I finally decided to look at it. I felt like he was mocking me "okay if I have to make the effort" and his excuse was the same as many of these post, I forgot, I worked and did not have time. I found this a lame excuse since in the last couple of weeks, he can be late to talk on the second phone. These men could stop on the way home for a card and a gift card or flowers which is a 20 min stop at a store. Many years I worked as a single parent and sometime two jobs, yet I found time to make birthday celebrations possible for my children or anyone else I really cared about. There is no excuse, just being cheap as usual and snickering about it the day of the birthday does not cut it. It can take the passion right out of a relationship.

I feel bad for you and understand why you are upset. But as a guy-you have to remember that most men suck at planning and bdays aren't that important to us (honestly my wife makes a fuse over my bday but minus bday sex i could careless about card/bday presnts etc). Many men forget that a card means something to a lady-and don't even realize why you would be upset if we didn't get you one (before being married-I never got adult family members cards and sometimes i didn't even wrap presents for them-my wife now insists that I do those things). Married men often get so used to our wives planning things or picking up cards/etc that unless you tell us-we forget that sometimes you want us plan a special evening or do something sweet. Honestly, I have been confused numerous times about my wife being upset at me for things that I never thought would bother her (Once I forgot the exact time one of our children were born and she was upset--also i always forget exact day of our first date). Men are from Mars so please don't take our stupidity to heart. I would recommend telling your husband how upset/hurt you feel-and then maybe suggest something fun to do for your bday/hopefully he got you some nice presents too! Happy Birthday and I hope next year your husband remembers to do something special for you!

My husband not only forgets my birthday, he seems to do it on purpose. He does it every year. When I get upset I see a smile come on his face. If I had a place to go and money to get there I would leave. I am a 64 yo woman who is ill with Lupus.

Today is my birthday and my husband forgot about it the third time in the last twelve years..It reallu hurts..Feels he needs me and has no love for me...I have stopped expecting things from him. Will go to safeway, pick up some flowers and cake for myself. :(

I am SO glad to have found this post... my boyfriend - I know he adores me but this past weekend was my first birthday with us being a couple and, other than waking up at midnight to "be the first" to wish me a happy birthday, he hasn't done anything for me. My birthday's always been kind of a big deal so, needless to say, I've been pretty hurt! Worse, he's out of town so I can't even tell him how I feel.. rrrrr! <br />
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He's definitely in the dog house and will have to "upgrade" (I like the 'pain and suffering' analogy!) but hearing everyone's stories has taught me that sometimes guys are really thick-headed about the simplest things (we women have our quirks, too, I know); thank you all for sharing and making me feel better!<br />
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p.s. I'm new here and this is my first post - I was just googling "my boyfriend forgot my birthday" and landed at the experience project, LOL!

my birthday is the 28th , my husband won't do anything again, oh if he hadn't created a financial mess I would had set him free, it really hurts when they for get, Like I am worthless, I know better !, what should I do?

hi,<br />
hello were r u from?

I feel for you - I get nothing from my husband every year and it is a very hard day for me because it is also the anniversary of my brother's death.

I am not trying to be rude, but be happy that he even remembered your birthday. I never get anything for my birthday, because to me I feel it is just another day. I can understand you being upset but to hit your husband because he could not get your present to you that day. Is it just great to be able to share your day with your husband?

Dont forget to forget his special days too (ignore his birthday). That way he will know how it feels. You now have a license to bring this up as many times as you feel like. If he complains remind him whose fault it was. <br />
Remember that if you let him get away with this he is going to think that you will put up with taking you for granted. Stake your ground that you deserve to be acknowledge on your special days.<br />

This will continue to happen if you don't communicate what you want him to do. Men are not mind readers. You have to spell it out for him exactly what you want. I had the exact same experience 15 years ago. To correct the problem I tell my husband in advance what I want and what I would like to do and he fills in the details. Im happy and he's happy because he gets it right. If you wait on him to change on his own it will never happen

My husband did the same thing this year. His excuse was not having enough time to shop and taking too long to decide on the perfect gift. As a friend of mine said - he did have a whole year!<br />
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Two years ago he didn't get me anything for my birthday either. Same excuse. I never got a gift that year. I love my special day to be special - I never let anyone forget it's coming up because I'm such a big kid about it. But this still happens...

well, i understand the feeling , being disappointed when you have high expectances. On the other way, tho... happends to me every year to forget my birthday, ppl call me and then i remember. I almost always forget others birthdays too. I never know the day of the year if not absolutely necessary to check. If someone ask me the day the month of the year we are in, i look in the corner of the screen if i am home. if not in front of computer, i have no idea. I am married since 2 years now and i don't know the day/month when my wife is born. I love her, i just don't care about these thingies. She is really happy with me and she knows for sure i love her, but my gestures of love show every day , not once /year. <br />
So...the drama you live :D <br />
tell you what: ignore his next birthdays and see his reaction. also post it, please. if he reacts bad, then you're right he's selfish and careless. But if he doesn;t give a *** , it only means he sees other important thingies in life. <br />
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P.S. for me, easter, christmas and so on are just like all the other days, just more noisy. I like the parties and people happy and all that stuff, but if they did that in any other day of the year, i would love it all the same. if you understand what i mean..

omg that sucks....i would be upset bought me stuff..but just talk to him and let him understand your point of you...or just do the same thing to him and see his reaction

Well, I don't know about ya'll but in my first b-day married my husband got me a wedding band, and I was like 'why would u get me a wedding band I already have one' and he said 'I thought you'd like this one better' truth is he had lost his and he bought a new set so we all could have matching wedding rings, coz he didn't have luck finding the original ones, not to mention I was pissed I wanted something thoughtful and nice nothing expensive but he thought replacing his lost ring, ould be my birhtday present.


that sucks but don't let him get away with it. One person told me don't set a precedent that you don't want followed in the future. If you say "oh that's okay, I understand" then that person will do it to you over and over again.

Happy birthday! Give him another chance and then you can decide what to do. It's painful, but not surprising when two people who are just married that something like this happens.

Has he forgotten in the past? You aught to know what you got into before you got married. Sounds like he made some attempt and didn't forget, just very poor planning. In the future, whatever it is you want or a special date is coming up like your anniversary, give the guy some subtle hints because some men need advanced notice until it sinks in.

He forgot.....! and then lied ...they all do it ....<br />

Is this something that he has done before ( forget important dates or events???) if not, like if he is the type of person who usually remembers things like this and goes all out... i have read that when your husband forgets your birthday or like v-day then it is an act of passive agressive behavior..... is he mad about anything i would ask him if he was upset about anything ...

(I'm very new here) I'm so sorry. I had a similar experience on Mother's Day last year. And got a broken phone. I think if I were you, I'd probably hold myself up in my room reading all night and make my husband feel bad!

I've been married close to 2 decades now. Marriage is full of slip-ups from both sides of the relationship. Sometimes it's the "collecting of stamps" that makes these mess-ups worse. Try not to hold onto it - hence, collecting of stamps. If you do, it will only compound the next thing he does that ticks you off. Also - I'm a very sentimental fool - a gal that loves to remember the cutesy things he did for me way back when. Unfortunately I'm a hopeless romantic, and he's not. And the cute things have gone by the wayside. But he still loves me, and your hubby does too. Choose your battles in life. Try not to get too upset over this one. More will happen, but hopefully he'll make it up to you when you're least expecting it.<br />
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Enough of my soap box . . .

I've been married close to 2 decades now. Marriage is full of slip-ups from both sides of the relationship. Sometimes it's the "collecting of stamps" that makes these mess-ups worse. Try not to hold onto it - hence, collecting of stamps. If you do, it will only compound the next thing he does that ticks you off. Also - I'm a very sentimental fool - a gal that loves to remember the cutesy things he did for me way back when. Unfortunately I'm a hopeless romantic, and he's not. And the cute things have gone by the wayside. But he still loves me, and your hubby does too. Choose your battles in life. Try not to get too upset over this one. More will happen, but hopefully he'll make it up to you when you're least expecting it.<br />
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Enough of my soap box . . .

i did it once. I am sure he did not do it on purpose. Don't be upset he will make it better. Give him a chance at least.

ugh!! what a rotten rat-a$$ ba$tard (LOL). <br />
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let me ask you this: would it be better that he forgot (or truly in this case, flat out too darn lazy ) or if he bought you ......... say a set of drinking glasses? or a vacuum cleaner?<br />
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let's face it: guys are not too smart at times. <br />
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give him hell !!!

ugh!! what a rotten rat-a$$ ba$tard (LOL). <br />
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let me ask you this: would it be better that he forgot (or truly in this case, flat out too darn lazy ) or if he bought you ......... say a set of drinking glasses? or a vacuum cleaner?<br />
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let's face it: guys are not too smart at times. <br />
<br />
give him hell !!!

Not sure he forgot as much as maybe was not inclined to do what it took to make your Birhtday Special as he should. When you love someone you try to do what is needed to make the other person happy, and not just yourself. He may just need time to grow as a husband and friend. Or you may need to see how much he is willing to put into the relationship and see if he stands hand in hand with your beliefs as to what marrieage and friendship is. It's nice to know theeses thing before tying the knot, however are not all fortunate enough to find out that soon. Hopefully he just needs to grow and is willing to do so.

Ughh..... That sucks I would be upset too. I hope he did something really nice to make it up to you.

Ughh..... That sucks I would be upset too. I hope he did something really nice to make it up to you.


Your hubby sucks, you should vent. Happy Belated Bday!


Hi There, your hubby didn't forget your birthday - he just left it late to arrange something. His intention was good and he tried no doubt to buy you something that he thought you would like - even if on the internet. Don't make it mean anything - he took you the next week to get you what you wanted. That shows that he really cares and that he was thinking of you in the first instance anyway.<br />
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Happy Birthday by the way !!

I have been married 18 years. I don't think he would forget my birthday...again. I remind him with suggestions for gifts and the day of I ask him where he is taking me tonight for my birhday. Of course, Afew years ago my best friend married a man that shares my bday so she reminds my hubby and hey plan an outing for all 4 of us together.<br />
Point is tell hubby exactly what yo want.

I'm sorry. For what it's worth, Happy Birthday!<br />
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I had something similar happen this year as well. My husband, all of my friends, my parents, my brother and one of my sisters all forgot my birthday (my other sister called the following day apologizing profusely, she was out of town on a business trip). I felt like I didn't exist.

You have every right to complain, inexcusable. Slap him upside the head, tell him to pay attention, and explain to him in detail how you want your birthdays to be from now on. Hopefully he'll take that and make it into something better. Sometimes with guys, you really need to explain what it is that you want. As stupid as that sounds, and he should know, its just the way it is.