Marriage...bleh

My first husband was an abusive son of a ***** who utterly destroyed my soul.  When I recovered I met a cutie and thought things would be different.  I was different.  Now I know about his mood problems, his crazy drug use from his youth that now affects our sex life...he's controlling and downright mean at times.  When we do have sex it's amazing.  Most of the time, I wish I hadn't gotten married again.  It's a relationship of extremes, it's either great or bad.  There is never middle ground or even keel.  I am pretty tired of it.  Unfortunately I am pretty dependent on him financially.  I am studying for my PhD and it consumes most of my life.  My internship doesn't pay well.  Marriage...bleh.

GladYouArentHere GladYouArentHere
31-35, F
5 Responses Feb 18, 2010

Wow!!!! I would think after the second marriage, it would be time to get professional help.<br />
2 failed marriages, even the thought of a 3rd should be waaaaaaaaaaay out of your mind.

But hey he's cute, right?<br />
<br />
Isn't that the most important thing?

My mom always taught that the second marriage was a rebound marriage. And when you get the second divorce, in most cases leaves a bad taste in your mouth. She said that the third marriage comes later after the pain of the first two marriages are very far gone.

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. You mentioned you are studying for your PHD, you seem to be intelligent. So I know you know you are the only one that can alter your situation.<br />
Whether it be for your own good or bad, only you can change your path.

I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry you wound up in two bad marriages.