Kinda More On The Post I Posted Before This

I was doing some internet searching because i just dont know what to do anymore. Ive always been an old soul no matter the age i have been at like right now im 21 im trying hard to get everything ready for my first baby due in april. This being after i was told i might not be able to have kids after the first miscarriage. I should be so happy and when i think of holding her i am. I have been with the man i just recently married on and off for four years. We had lots of stupid immature problems over the years mainly dealing with other people coming into the picture i have moved on from all that. What hurts now is he wants me to be a stay at home mom for a while which is fine i can finish school and get a better job right around preschool time for the baby. I feel more distance between us now than i have ever felt. I made so many sacrifices to keep him as he did for me i think. Here is what hurts list wise so this doesn't go on and on.

1. I alone cook, clean, take care of the two cats, laundry, set his clothes out, all dishes, any household chores except taking the trash out cause im to big to pick it up now lol. Love doing all these things but there is no appreciation and i bust my *** all day while in a lot of pain cause my body isn't handeling pregnancy well. The only time he notices is when he needs to ***** cause i forgot something.

2. In four years he has never taken the initiative to do even the smallest things to show love that i have continued to do for him well because i do what i can to make him smile. {ex: dates, gifts-for no reason, christmas or birthday, coming to hold me or my hand, kissing me not just kissing me back or during sex, no status updates bout me or the baby always about himself or sometimes his random friends, no pics up of us always just him or something random, doesn't start text convos i do or their isn't any. basically he has never loved me out loud and he doesn't with the news of the baby either.

3. Its like he holds himself back from loving hard cause he thinks others will think stupid or something. Because when he is around his friends he is carefree but when it is just me and him yes we have fun and do have some great days. Mainly its one stupid argument after another and i know thats 50/50 but im trying harder and harder.

Sry for rambling so much but this is helping in my depression i want everything for the baby and i want him to be happy...... guess it doesn't help that i was so depressed before the pregnancy i turned to stupid things to dull the pain especially alcohol so since i stopped everything cold turkey soon as i found out abou the pregnancy its really taking a toll. I try to talk to him about it and its like he would rather be doing anything else.
pharexianreaperj pharexianreaperj
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 21, 2010

see i dont mind doing the housework and all the other stuff especially while im staying at home per his request but when i bust my *** this hard everyday is it hard to say thank you or to not ***** cause i overlooked something.

Marriage is a fifty fifty thing. Each person should share the work load.<br />
I hate lazy people so you will find no solace with me for them. I figure its my home too. Make a list and divide it up. If you have too.

thanks i appreciate the comment so for yall it took time?

Congratulations on the baby! Fantastic news.<br />
The most important person in your world is about to enter your life!<br />
<br />
I got married young (view of society) and can associate with your points. We got the right balance and 12 years on are a strong team (team sounds wrong but the meaning is right)<br />
<br />
I wish you all the love and best with the pregnancy.