Register

I Am Mentally Damaged Due To My Past

At My Breaking Point

By: sweetlikesuga
Written on May 21st, 2012
I just don't know how to get over all of the stuff I've gone Thur in my past, I've such a bad experience with relationships and it all started when i was 19. I had this wonderful boyfriend well i thought he was at the time but things took a turn for the worst and he became very aggressive and i have no idea where things went wrong. We would rough house and things just playing around he took things to far and slapped me in the face hard enough to make me cry. I have no idea if he intended to do it. He'd pressure me into doing things that i didn't wanna do such as oral. Since all that happened I've had the worst experience with men and it's been going down hill ever since. I've been verbally abused, controlled, put down and just down right disrespected and because of what happened I've became angry to a point where i got diagnosed with anxiety and i tend to take my anger into other relationships that i get in and i really don't have anyone to talk with about my feelings who i actually trust because i feel nobody understands where i'm coming from. I'm so afraid that i will never be able to cope with my issues.
By: sweetlikesuga
Age: 26-30 , Female
369 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
7 responses
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    raidenthor
    raidenthor

    The best way to deal with mean people is to cut them out of your life, completely. There is not enough time in this world to deal with them.

    Jan 15
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    FreeSpirit84
    FreeSpirit84

    I have the exact same feelings. I too had a difficult and hurtful past and have trust issues and I am married. I was diagnosed with anxiety last year and struggle with the anger that comes with it at times. Try keeping a journal to write down your feelings. Also try writing poetry expressing your feelings. Another thing that helps is writing a letter to whoever has made you angry, then burn it, rip it or tear the letter up and throw it in the trash. This helps me whenever I am angry.

    Jun 16, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    sweetlikesuga
    sweetlikesuga

    I really don't have any good friends because we drifted apart. This girl I was best friends with for 10 year Her and I are no longer friends. So I tend to keep my emotions and anger in and when I let them out it's like I go on this rage and I don't know how to stop.

    May 23, 2012
    1 like
    • 0
      NEW!
      Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
      FreeSpirit84
      FreeSpirit84

      I have had this problem all my life with friends and could never figure it out until in my early twenties.
      Friends like those are called seasonal friends. They come in your life for a season. Sometimes it's for a short season and sometimes the seasons can last for years.

      Jun 16, 2012
      1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    kittykat45
    kittykat45

    because of my past i am a cutter to ease the pain lately i have found a true friend who has been helping me by listening to me and not judging me. it is as if a huge weight has been lifted off my soul.

    May 23, 2012
    2 likes
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    sweetlikesuga
    sweetlikesuga

    Thank You

    May 22, 2012
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    EverythingInBetween
    EverythingInBetween

    I feel ya, after i got out of a relationship like this, ive only been in 1 after that, which didnt go well, he didnt deserve my negativity... So I just avoid relationships altogether. Maybe that would help for you too, for a while? The anxiety makes it hard to clearly think while being with somebody. Being around friends also helped me learn how to socialize again ( my crazy ex didnt let me look at or talk to anyone, he litterally built walls around me) but slowly everything started getting better. Sure, I feel the need to isolate myself from people sometimes, its ok. I dont share these feelings either, and i get nightmares sometimes, but they occur less and less, and the anxiety isnt as bad anymore.Hopefully that kinda helped, and I hope things get better soon!

    May 22, 2012
    1 like