My Past Is My Scars........

I never thought of an inner child. I am fat also. Have been since I was 6. Don't know what it's like to be skinny. But I can relate. I've accepted that I'm going to be fat the rest of my life. It hasn't stopped me from doing things. I've been married twice and have 2 kids, I work full time, I exercise, I'm also 53. I have no health problems that a typical 53 yr might have. I'm healthy besides being fat. My blood pressure has always been healthy. But I do hide behind my weight also. If they can't accept me for who I am....____ em.
Keep yourself happy and don't let people get you down. Unless they have been in the same situation they have no idea what they are talking about. They are CLUELESS....

Have a wonderful day and go outside and play until your heart is content. HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

I also believe in inner childs. Even when we are adults we can get excited like a child and have crying fits like a child.
I am suffering sever depression, because I allowed someone to hurt me. My self respect was lost, my ego crushed and my world came tumbling down.
Never thought it would happen to me. After years of bullying at school (I am a six foot natural blonde) for my looks, I blocked it out when I entered the adult world of work. I became cold hearted as I climbed the executive ladder just to protect my emotions. I fought against the tag 'dumb blonde' and made sure I was well educated, so I would be successful for my brains, as I had no beauty to fall back on. I reached a National Director level of a corporate company at 32 years old, earning over $180,000. I thought I had broken free of the bullying and had turned out successful.
Then one day I made the mistake of joining a new company and there I came up against a workplace psychopath. She chipped away at me for over 10 months until I crumbled.
She blocked projects, she spread rumours, she interrupted employment agreements, she would tell the CEO one story and tell me another just to confuse the system.
Her comments got personal. About my ability to do the job at such a young age (not young when my first Management position was at 17), my looks and my values.
That was it, my confidence in myself and also my self love/respect went spiralling down like water down a drain hole, all back to those pathetic days of being bullied at school.
I resigned from my job, had a nervous break down and am now on depression and anti- anxiety tablets.
I know that some people pick or belittle others merely to make themselves feel better about them and their lives, however I did not know the huge affect it would have on me and how it even got past my protected / walled heart.
Society also seems to give more time, patience and caring to those people who are good looking. This is why so many people now have plastic surgery to make their lives easier.
So now I eat also to hide myself, so now one cares, looks or talks to me. I also am very simple minded (the dumbest I have ever been), I also look at this as a protection, because if I am dumb enough and slow witted enough people will not be harsh towards me, they will pity me and leave me alone. They are both barriers to me now.
So I can fully understand your eating patterns.

God does exist, Let be honest it is a challenge to love someone you cant see. But once they start living within you
You learn to love them by faith. GOD loves you and his grace is sufficient enough for you!!

WynterAngel, you are on the right track. You are right that the most important thing is to know and love yourself. Take what others say with a grain of salt...suaske666 for example, whether "love" is some special altered state or simply an extremely high score on a scale of how well you like someone has no bearing on whether it is achievable or will make you happy. The concept of love wouldn't exist if it had not been able to give people great amounts of joy over the years.

One thing that suaske666 is right about however, is that love doesn't flip on a magical switch somewhere (infatuation can, but that's another topic). Love is based on an understanding of self in both parties, and a desire and ability to share unreservedly of what each is with the other. That IS achievable. Just remember, you can't make it... you have to find it.

Don't give up on your search, and don't let your inner child's timid nature keep you from venturing out of your safety zone. There are a lot of interesting people out there, and some of them are even willing to help you if you get into trouble or get hurt. There can be safety there too, even though there is risk.

My inner child is a brat.

you know what?...you did inspire me in many ways!

i am also struggling with my weight...

the term inner child feels really nice, I have felt it as the innocent part of me, always seeing things through an angle of empathy and hope and curiosity. It is the part of me which wants to live for the sake of the joy of it, not for any specific purpose or reaching any destination. The part of me which knows, but doesnt care it knows.

Depression ...

You're NOT at peace with who you are or you wouldn't be confessing how much you're ok with eating. I do NOT have a problem with weight, but I DO have a problem with someone that tries to say they feel good about themselves and a problem with weight when they are obviously NOT feeling good about it: You wouldn't have made it an issue, otherwise...

If you're eating as a compulsion, then the conversation is about why you're feeling the need.

I'm NOT judging. I don't give a damn about what you look like, but I DO care about what you THINK you look like and the fact that you claim that you don't care: It sounds too lonely for me to accept it.

YES, there are guys that LIKE women with weight: They feel like they can enjoy without crushing and breaking them..

Yes, if you're trying to pretend to feel good, then you didn't write a "confession" on Experience Project. Write what you're REALLY feeling. Write what you FEEL about yourself. I think you'll find that people surround you and support you.

Just MHO.

(btw, I've done FANTASTIC photographs of women of all sizes (and I mean ALL sizes) and the best sex I ever had was a woman that weighed more than twice my own weight. O.o She was... enthusiastic and adventurous. O.o O.o :D (also had more degrees than me))

Just STOP with the mumbo jumbo: THIS is real life. It's messy. That's what it is.

Thank you !!
your words have been helpful to me today

Let me start out by saying YOU ARE AMAZING! I know I have personally tried to accept myself and have fallen short! I can totally relate to keeping everyone at a distance! I had to grow up at a young age so I have never really fit in with any age group, so I kept to myself. I defintly hope I can become strong like you and learn to accept myslef and let others close to me so I can have the true friendships and hopefully a boyfriend.
This is truely beautiful! Thank you!

Thank you for sharing your story, Wynterangel. it was honest and inspirational to read.

wow same here
don't worry be happy with yourself