My Husband Does Not Trust Me...and I Did Nothing!

I have been married for five years and it is not working.  When we first got married, his mother was so awful to me.  There was no reason, but he never defended me.  I realize that I lost some respect early on.  He then went to Iraq for a year and it wasn't that bad.  We spoke every day and he did get two weeks leave.  Most military couples do not get that.  When he came home he was so distrustful it kind of hurt my felings.  He was checking cell phone and email and kept asking to be added to my bank account.  I think I am entitled to some privacy and my mom always told me to keep my own bank account.  He's been home for almost two years and I just caught him going through my emails again.  This made so angry because he had to be sneaking around to get my password.  I do not have anything to hide but I am pissed. I went back to school and finished my degree.  Other than that I was always home.  He has no reason to distrust me.  I don't even really hang out with my friends too much.   I am desprately looking for a job to get a distraction.  He goes everywhere with me and is always hanging around.  He is very clingy.  The biggest problem is that I spend more time thinking about leaving rather than trying to work it out.  Now he's talking about a baby and buying a bigger house.  We are 35 and 36.  I am not interested.  I almost can't stand living in the same house with him anymore.  Thoughts?

brianalone brianalone
4 Responses Feb 21, 2009

im having the same problem only i have been married for 6 months and it has been the longest 6 months of my life. he doesnt trust me what soever and i have never giving him a reason not to trust me he goes thru my txt messages in my phone he checks my contacts, and just yesterday he gone txt me and asked me why i changed the pass word on my facebook account. really man come on so i asked y and he said he just wanted to look at my page i said well y didnt u look atg it thru your page instead of trying to login to mine when u suppose to be working, and he doesn understand y i got mad about it. im ready to run screaming out the door and you r absolutely right about the bank account thing i got mine seperate from his and he gets mad about that. i dont know what to do anymore.

"I think I am entitled to some privacy and my mom always told me to keep my own bank account."<br />
<br />
Your mother gave you excellent advice.<br />
~~~~~~~~~<br />
Get the hell out before you end up preggers by a man you don't love....

Well, my opinion about this is very strong, because I've been in a similar situation:<br />
<br />
Get out, get out, get out. He is insecure and controlling. Don't waste any more of your life.

That sounds really bad. DO NOT let him minipulate you. stand your ground. Us women are NOT toys. Id get mean if my guy was treating me like that! Don't let him follow you, thats creepy. I'm not trying to be mean but he sounds like a mommas boy, and if so he should still live with momma!