I don't know why. I have a good job, a great wife and a bright future. Yet I've shunned my family, I fight over nothing with my wife, i'm going to ruin my future just from all the worrying alone and it seems like another part of me is going out of its way to make sure I'm unhappy. As a kid I had depression. I currently have anxiety. I'm worried that my depression came back and I've experienced it so much I can't even tell it's there. It doesn't FEEL like the depression I remember, but the characteristics are there. I shut myself in and hide from the world whenever I can, I am not sociable unless I have to be hurting the people around me. All of this makes me want to hurt myself. It's as if my body is trying to destroy itself in this catch 22 I've made. I push myself to get up and spend time outside of the house with my wife and once i'm out i feel good until I get home and it feels like nothing even happened. This is every time i have the opportunity to go out. Regularly I feel like my brain isn't working anymore and i cant express the way I'm feeling like everything is jumbled up there. I think i'm going to ruin my life if i keep going down this road. I'm very lonely, sad and afraid. I need help to pick up the few pieces before they turn into many. I'm becoming a monster. Help.
FrazMedia FrazMedia
18-21, M
Aug 17, 2014