I feel sad and crappy right now. And angry.
I'm sure I'll recover.
I connected with this girl who was interested in acting and we started to become good friends. Although I could have liked her, I didn't want to go down that path because of circumstances in my life and hers. I thought that was understood.
So, being a bit of a flirt, I texted her once saying that if things were different I could ask her out.
She said she wanted to stay friends.
I said that was fine, I wasn't wanting or expecting more, just pondering what could be in another universe. But friends is perfect.
Then I made some dumb (and I thought) innocent joke about giving her a kiss (this was all done on text mind you), and I never heard from her again (several months) until today.
I emailed her a couple days ago asking for my acting books back that I had loaned her. She emailed me back saying she gave them to my instructor. Then she ripped into me wondering how I could have made a pass on her and how she wasn't interested in me and that's why she stopped talking to me.
I just emailed her back apologizing for any misunderstandings but that most people talk through them, not run away. Especially friends.
Blah. Now I'm sad because a friendship that was just beginning is over because I made a bad joke, she took it seriously, and doesn't want anything to do with me.
It's not like I need to get over her or anything, there's nothing to get over. But it makes me mad that I made myself a bit vunerable and got stepped on.
THIS is why I shared on EP about how I have a lot of friends but not many close ones. Because anything beyond drinking buddies, and one of us (or both of us) get hurt.
Is it me? Am I that socially awkward that I can't make jokes, or share my feelings? Apparently I'm the life of the party until I show a bit of honesty.
And it was such a nice day to start with....