For a change I just want to be me

After living on my own for 9 years I moved in back with my mom. Its much harder than i thought it would be. The constant nagging, following house rules and doing everything the way she wants. she tends to forget that i am not a kid any more. I have lived on my own for long and can take my own decision. I deserve to have a right in atleast choosing what i can wear or what i can eat. She wouldnt let me even do that. I feel i have completely lost my freedom. I moved back from UK as my visa expired and am looking for jobs in this country. On one hand she doesnt approve of anything I say and do and on other she doesnt want me to move out and stay with her. There is this constant adjective to everything she says "YOU ARE CHANGED". Of course i am changed the last time i lived with her was when i was 16. And when i try to find a decent job in a metropolitan city she becomes melodramatic and wont let me go using the emotional card saying i am a widow and all alone, dont leave me. I cant find a job in this place and this has been going on since more than a month now. I dont want to offend her for all she has done for me but she doesnt even give me any breathing space. And when i try to communicate with her she cries and becomes all emotional. She says i am changed I am very practical and cold hearted and selfish. the only person i care of is me. I dont want to hurt her but i need some time for myself where i dont have to pretend and stick a fake smile all the time. For a change i just want to be me.

evelina evelina
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 13, 2010

She sounds like she cares but is also very needy. I hope things work out for you.