Trying To Get Past The Hard Part..i Miss Him!

My man, my love, my badass marine, my everything left for bootcamp April 2nd, the last time i saw him was April 1st when me and his father took him to the hotel...it didnt hit me yet.  i never really worried about it because at first he didnt wanna talk about it but then after awhile i never wanted to talk about him going either. The morning of April 1st we woke up and i was just waiting for him to tell me APRIL FOOLS ITS ALL A JOKE! but i know ever since i started dating him he was going to be a marine.  I grew up from a very patriotic family. My brother is also a marine. how ironic right? of course i would date a marine, all my friends say. It has been almost two months since he's been gone and it gets worse every day. im sick of people telling me how its going to get easier and how fast it'll go by. No it wont! you dont know anything. or the people who said, "dont worry it can always be worse" well yeah i know, but to me its like he doesnt even exist anymore:( i know boot camp is the worst part and i just need to get past it but its literally taking forever! i know no one understands or they just wouldnt know what to say to me, so i hide it and dont talk to anyone and act like everythings fine, im a senior in high school and about to graduate. He missed my prom, hes missing my graduation, and hes missing our 2 year anniversary.  Our 2 years anniversary is June 12th.  Yeah i know im only 18 and i know prom isnt a big deal trust me it sucked and i already forgot about it. i went to his graduation last year and i just wish he could see me walk across that stage.  Hes my best friend and we can tell each other anything. Hes my soul mate and we're perfect for each other. But him seeming like he doesnt exist is making me feel not complete. i've been seeing my high school counselor because i try to be the strong girlfriend infront of my family and friends and at work and at school. But i cry more and more and its so hard! Its making us stronger and making him more of a man than he ever was. Waiting around for a letter is miserable hearing from him just keeps me sane, even tho when i hear from him everything comes out and im a mess. it has to get easier at some point i guess but i dont see it coming anytime soon enough. me and his father bought our plane tickets and i couldnt be more excited! he graduated june 29th and we leave june 27th. I miss my man so much, i know how strong i am but sometimes i just dont know how to hold it together:(
embrock36 embrock36
18-21, F
May 24, 2012