One Year Ago.

Toady one year ago my mom passed away. I really miss her and am having a hard time today.

I lived with my mom for almost 5 yrs because she had Alzheimer's.

My mom was a very small lady yet she was as mean as could be. There were times when she told me to get out of her house, if she knew how mean I was she would never have let me come live with her, she hated me. Well you get the idea. She could drop kick you in a minute and one time she tried to strangle a male nurse. The last few years of her life were hard. She only weighed 90 pounds....well she always wanted to be thin.

She was in fairly good health all except the Alzheimer's. I still took her for walks, her favorite thing to do. I would take to the store and just about anywhere I went she went with me. Then one day she missed her footing and fell backwards off the steps. She hit her arm on the molding around the door and broke her arm. From there it was down hill. The one thing that I didn't want to do I finally had to do and that was put her in a nursing home. She lasted 3months and one day there. She went from a person who could feed herself to someone who couldn't do a thing but just sit there. She suffered a broken hip that she had to have surgery for while there and then ended up with CDIF. Finally one day she just got tired and I got the call that my mom was not doing well. So I took my sister who has MS and is in a wheel chair, my daughter(who lived with me helped), and my two small grandchildren to say our goodbyes. We spent a few hrs telling mom it was ok to go and for her to do what she needed to do. After being home for only about an hour and a half she took a turn for the worse and then passed away peacefully a few hrs later.

I wasn't' there when she passed I couldn't make myself go back. I regret that now. She was always there for me through thick and thin. I feel like I abandoned her when she needed me most. I didn't kiss her good bye, I held her hand and stroked her face and touched her chest to feel her breath and now I regret that I didn't kiss her good bye. We always kissed and hugged each other.

I miss my mom! I truly miss the person she used to be, the women that loved unconditionally.

feebee feebee
56-60, F
1 Response Mar 18, 2009

I know it is tough, but I have lost my mother to cancer and I wasn't there for physically, but I have come to realize I was there for her spiritually. Your mom loves you and so does Jesus.