I'm Different.

I consider myself and other people who believe in monogamy a strange and rare breed in today's world. I struggle to find people who share my views that I can talk to or meet. I have no grudges with people who choose polygamy, but I don't know why it is becomming so taboo for two people to be dedicated to eachother in a relationship and not screw around with anyone else. To make my situation stranger I am a 19 year old girl, I am a lesbian, and I am not religious. Monogamy in the GLBT crowd is almost un heard of, and anyone in my age group is usually concerned with ******* as many people as they can, and I feel alone and alien for having these typically Christian or Mormon beliefs. I just believe in old fashioned love, love that would bond two people, a ying for a yang, two halfs to make a perfect whole, and I can't seem to find another one to side with me!

I know it would be "normal" for a girl my age to be dating around and "having fun", but to me fun is having a life long partner that you can build life long memories with and finding someone who thinks you are the greatest in the world and doesn't need or want anyone else because you give them everything they need, emotionally and physically. That is fun to me, that is what I want. People tell me I will regret my choices later on when I lose my looks and quit getting hit on, that I should "live it up" and be free. I disagree. I don't go around telling people they need to close their legs, look for a life partner and settle down with someone. I would never dream of imposing my lifestyle on someone else.

After a year of social and sexual monogamy living in the same apartment with the only person I've been in a real relationship with, she still left me after feeling guilty for having an affair with another girl. She told me it was a mistake and that she can still see herself marrying me, tells me everyday that I am all she needs and has never felt anything more real with another person. But now I'm crushed because I can't understand why one person who loves you, is dedicated to your happiness and comfort, who fulfills your sexual needs and makes you happy isn't good enough?

I'm just frustrated. I wish I knew more people who share my beliefs so I could talk about it. Everyone I know thinks sex is un emotional and think relationships are boring and old. I don't get it!

armyofjulie armyofjulie
Mar 18, 2009