Moody Moody Moody

i dont even know where it comes from.. i am suddenly all depressed and detached.. detachment... its sometimes really good and other times its really irritating when you want to belong and your mind is just not there.. you dont even know where it is exactly.. why the hell people around you are supposed to tolerate you? the moodiness.. sometimes the RAGE.. yes.. rage.. extreme rage out of nowhere.. i am not always like that.. people tell me i never stop smiling anf they would give anything to see me angry.... sometimes i feel im bipolar even, i do have moments of extreme joy, i dont stop giggling and laughing at the silliest things.. i dont get it.. i want to stop writing now :)

psychodolphin psychodolphin
18-21, F
5 Responses Sep 10, 2008

ok, i feel / felt this way I am a very fortunate person, good body image, great girlfriend, good surroundings, and im healthy. I have no reason to feel the way you do but it still happens. What makes it emotionally lethal (to myself and others) is that i feel like i SHOULD feel this way. its so melancholy. I feel awesome and then it starts from something anecdotal that kind of makes me disappointed (it should stop there) but it develops into this monster that i cant control. I was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. instead of mania and extreme depression it is characterized by dysphoria (like you and i feel) and then euphoria (the happy go lucky feeling). The main thing that should be done to treat this is a mood stabilizer (such as lamictal). The medicine helped me so much that i made amends wiht my body image and contempt for myself. I still get the feelings you describe, such as right now.... which is why i found this website. even typing about it is helpful. just let it out. the vicious cycle happens when I start to wonder why i feel it and what caused it. the answer is much more unexplainable in the context of action and reaction, it is just an imbalance in mood, chemical, like theres no ballast to rationalizr the minor thing that triggered it. I am so happy that i found the diagnosis right for me. its a real eye opener. theres so much life out there to experience than being trapped by your thoughts insie your head. when people told me this i always got angry because i couldnt feel it when it was happening. once you find the right psychiatrist and diagnosis then life really opens up. the episodes come sometimes but they are much more easy to break out of. i really hope this all helps (it helped me just typing it!). Just remember that a happy life is not too far away. have hope, i was at rock bottom when this wasnt treated. much love and sympathy to you both. there is a clean cut cure for this needless emotional bullshit, :)<br />
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:) :) yes yes/ wow that was such an old post =) i havent been on experience project since a very long time..

i cant believe you actually took the time to write me this reply =) much much appreciated

as you can see im in a much better place in my life right now.
and yes, funny enough.. i am on medication right now.

all the best to you

needless emotional bullshit indeed

what is funny about that? <br />
its always good to be someone who makes the day go by faster for those who need it..<br />
but.. funny?

hihi,you're funny.I like funny people,they make the day go by faster :-)

confusing ey?

yeah I've wondered if I myself was bi-polar...