Enough Blame... I'm Hurting Myself Period.
Im so sick of this heavy feeling and continued sadness that only seems to go away when I bite into something. The only time I feel good or like I'm doing something is when I'm eating. I hate to admit it, but my size keeps people at a distance both good and bad, and leaves me alone and filled with such emptiness that food is the only thing that is around to fill it. I am sad. I am lonely. I doubt myself and my abilities. If I were all the great things I thought, then how did I get to this point. I stopped looking at myself and just grew and grew. I ignored what I was doing and just kept eating. I don't do anything anymore. i work, I educated myself, but if you ask me my hobbies I EAT,I eat, I eat ... and I rarely feel full. My stomach hurts from the weight of the food, but I still feel hungry. Its scary this feeling of eternal emptiness and hunger. Its a void I fill with its creator, this vicious cycle of pain needs to be over. I need help breaking it.. Help Help Help.