Tired Of Being The Fat Chick...

I am 23 years old, about to be 24. I live in columbus ohio and I am 402lbs. I have been fat since puberty. I keep going up and up every year. My whole life has been a struggle to loose weight. I started my first diet at 10 years old and ever since it has been a roller coaster ride. I am addicted to food especially fast food. I am also addicted to pop. I can eat a whole large pizza and drink a whole 2 liter of pop within an hour. I feel disapointed in myself. I feel like my parents are embarressed of my weight. I have a boyfriend that I have had over 7 years. He and I have been trying to have a baby for the past 2 years. We got pregnant once only to have it end in a miscarriage. It has taken over a year for me to be ready to try again. Losing the baby that I had been trying so hard for has literally devasted me. I was 360 when I got pregnant and since losing it I have ballooned back up to 400. I eat to feel better. I eat to cover up my feelings of sadness. I sleep my days away because of all the carbs. I work at a nursing home and even the old people comment on my weight. I feel like my life is just being wasted. At 23 I can't do the things a normal 23 year old does. I cant ride rides at the fair or at an amusement park. I cant fly on an airplane. I cant walk around downtown without getting winded. I cant go shopping because i feel like the store owners know I am not shopping for me. I feel embarressed going out to eat because I am always terrified I will not fit in the chair or the chair will buckle underneith me. Even doctors judge me. All i want in the world is to have a baby with my boyfriend and I am keeping myself from doing that. I eat and eat because i am depressed cause I cant have a baby but at the same time I am no longer having a period because of my weight. I am just tired of being the fat chick. I wanna lose weight so I can start living my life. I wanna have a baby and enjoy my 20's. I want to be able to do normal activities without worry or fear and I want to be able to buy cute clothes at normal stores.

Jill1806 Jill1806
4 Responses Apr 15, 2011

Right, let me point out that you might wish to speak with your doctor about the possibility that you have a thyroid disorder. This tends to get ignored in obese women, but the miscarriage you had (I am sorry for your loss) is a red flag here. It's very easily treated, generally with synthroid once or twice a day.<br />
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The other issue that tends to get ignored by physicians is morbid obesity and insulin resistance (again, easily treated with metformin/glucophage once or twice a day).<br />
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If your doctor won't listen to your concerns, it's time to try a second opinion. I had an OB/GYN tell me I couldn't feel the baby moving because I was too fat, and it delayed treatment for my child because I had to drag through the system to find a maternal/fetal specialist. Being obese doesn't mean you're stupid, but even some of the comments here reflect the idea that obesity is merely a reflection of a lack of self-control on your part.

ok im currently 19 7 stone was 20 something, i hate myself the way i look, never mind what other people think of me, i hate my moobs, i used to get picked on cos of my weight in school kinda made them the worst days of life, never have and will have a relationship until im happy the way i look anywho times haved moved on<br />
basically i invested in a grill so im cutting out all fried food the rest of my food is either baked or boiled or bbq, ive totally cut out all fizzy pop i use have like a 2ltr bottle a pepsi a day, what you could do is save up for a treadmill ive got one in my room, honestly cant afford the gym payments and also the house is like an amazing gym theres the stairs there chairs for press ups and stuff so yea.<br />
i try to eat twice a day but end up 3 times a day, i try to avoid fatty foods and less on the carbs, my daily week is like 5-6 days i eat healthier and i give my self 1 to eat anything but not too much, oh another thing to that helping me is that i try not to eat like after 7 or 6pm, another thing is that i watch like obese programmes which is kinda of a morale boost for me, cos they help me into what i could become if i carry on the way i eat <br />
all i can say is make a diary of what you going to eat excerise times and things and talk to people in you situation better to take it all out than keep it in :)

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I am a heavier gal too. I have endured the embarrassment and the disgusted looks too. I still do. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we had a miscarriage too. It is really hard to deal with, plus I lost my Dad right after the miscarriage. It was a really hard time for me. I ate and ate and ate. I would get upset with myself and eat some more. I got to the point that I was disgusted at myself when looking in the mirror. I finally got the courage and the strength to beat my addiction when I learned how it effected the passing of my father. I have been determined to be healthier since then. I started trying to figure out ways to cut out the things that I loved the most. I loved soda too. ESPECIALLY Mt. Dew and Dr. Pepper. At first I switched to diet sodas. I did that for almost 3 months, I then decided that I should try doing only light colored sodas that are diet like diet sprite and diet mt. dew. That seemed to work for awhile too, then I switched to fruit juices and eventually flavored water. I can honestly say that it was a great choice. I have lost some weight with it. I am currently trying this process with other foods too. I try to eat mainly chicken and pork dishes, instead of salt, which is really bad for you, I use pepper which is heart healthy. I prepare my own meals and challenge myself to come up with creative ways to IMPROVE the fast food that I loved! I did some research and I add a lot of anti-oxidants to my cooking. It is something that makes me feel better about myself and surprisingly enough I have not only lost weight doing these simple things, but I have found a new and creative way to make my own versions of my fast food favorites, that are even better tasting and healthier for me as well! So please, don't be so hard on yourself. There are people that obviously love you :)! They love you for the way you are not for what you look like on the outside. So before you get into an even deeper depression, stop, breathe, and tell yourself all the reasons why these people love you. Then smile, breathe again, and find a constructive way to make yourself a little happier! When I feel down about myself, I dance it out to old school 80's & 90's music! That's my way to deal with everyday stress. Hopefully I have helped you out some what! I hope and pray for only the best in life for you, I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to :)

Stop being mean to yourself. Love yourself!! Go to Weight Watchers!!