I Feel Trapped

Im 23 years old and i feel as if im trapped. I am 5'10 and i weight 375 pounds. I was never a small kid growing up but people teasing me about my weight never bothered me until i got into high school. I remember as a kid being very active in school during recess, always running, coming back to class drenched in sweat. High school hit and the words started to hurt. I remained active yet my weight was always high. Fast forward to now and im the heaviest ive ever been. It makes me insecure everytime i leave my house. I look at myself in the mirror and im disgusted. I am currently dating a very sweet and loving girl who is quite beautiful and of normal weight. I believe its my personality that made her fall in love with me because i feel so disgusting on the outside. One of my worsts fears are her noticing my body for what it truely is. Im so ashamed. Activities arent easy anymore. I cannot play sports like i used to because it hurts. I have high blood pressure and i just feel trapped. I dont know what diet is right or what reqlly to do. You try to educate yourself on your condition and there are so many different theories and solutions and what works and doesnt worm you end up becoming even more ignorant. This especially after seeing the documentary "fathead" where a man loses weight on fast food in one month in response to supersize me. Interesting insight on high fat low carb diets are more natural ans benficial to our genetic makeup. I dont know, i suppose its worth a shot. I dont want to wake up one morning alone and even a hundred pounds heavier. I want to exercize more and fight through the pain and soreness and get out of bed and off the couch and just do it!
Kinimod Kinimod
1 Response May 14, 2011

Hi, i wanted to comment on how you felt, I too feel trapped by weight but for slightly different reasons.<br />
From many many years experience I would say that losing weight is simple in theory, burn more calories than you take in, but having had it as an issue for such a long time I know that saying it easy doing it is hard. The 'diet' industry makes a huge amount of money from people like us, you'd be far better off thinking about eating healthily and looking at the psychological reasons why you are large / or why you eat.<br />
<br />
I'm scared at the moment I weight around 322 pounds, the last 70 put on over the last 9 months after a bereavement and a couple of years crash dieting losing around 5 stones at a time, which of course I put back on. I have issues with personal care, that I am managing to deal with, and I have a full time job, which I am still managing to do OK with, but I'm scared I'll lose my job because of being large. I have rheumatoid arthritis in my hands and now in my feet, so I feel like I have a mountain to climb to get better.<br />
<br />
Don't give up, as long as you haven't given up you are ahead of the game<br />
<br />
with love x