I Feel Trapped
Im 23 years old and i feel as if im trapped. I am 5'10 and i weight 375 pounds. I was never a small kid growing up but people teasing me about my weight never bothered me until i got into high school. I remember as a kid being very active in school during recess, always running, coming back to class drenched in sweat. High school hit and the words started to hurt. I remained active yet my weight was always high. Fast forward to now and im the heaviest ive ever been. It makes me insecure everytime i leave my house. I look at myself in the mirror and im disgusted. I am currently dating a very sweet and loving girl who is quite beautiful and of normal weight. I believe its my personality that made her fall in love with me because i feel so disgusting on the outside. One of my worsts fears are her noticing my body for what it truely is. Im so ashamed. Activities arent easy anymore. I cannot play sports like i used to because it hurts. I have high blood pressure and i just feel trapped. I dont know what diet is right or what reqlly to do. You try to educate yourself on your condition and there are so many different theories and solutions and what works and doesnt worm you end up becoming even more ignorant. This especially after seeing the documentary "fathead" where a man loses weight on fast food in one month in response to supersize me. Interesting insight on high fat low carb diets are more natural ans benficial to our genetic makeup. I dont know, i suppose its worth a shot. I dont want to wake up one morning alone and even a hundred pounds heavier. I want to exercize more and fight through the pain and soreness and get out of bed and off the couch and just do it!