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I Need Encoragement

I am a 59 year old woman. I am 5'5'' and I weigh 265lbs.  When I was in my 30's and 40's I was in great shape.
When I turned 50  I  started gaining weight. The more I gained, the less I wanted to get out of the house. I was
very outgoing before I became obese. Now it is hard for me to go anywhere because I am self-conscience about
how I look.  People treat me differently now that I have gained weight. My family loves me and has never treated me
any differently, but strangers can be rude. It is a nightmare to fly on a plane. People look at me with disgust and I
can tell that they are praying that I don't sit beside them. I am a compulsive overeater and when I get stressed I
eat.  I wanted to have a lap band procedure, but I can't afford it.  I am reaching out and hoping that someone else
who understands how I feel will write back to me. I think that having encouragement from people who share my struggles
will help me. Thanks, and I look forward to chatting with you.
dragonfly237 dragonfly237 56-60, F 3 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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I can encourage you....to get as fat as possible! ;)

I saw that you said you just joined a gym and was scared to go because you know how people would react. I don't have the overweight issue you deal with however I go to a gym regularly and when I see someone overweight who is actually giving it a serious try it makes me really happy for them. I don't think most people in a gym would look at you badly. I am sure that part is in your head due to a life of people looking down on you for being overweight. I hope you didn't give up on your quest to get in shape. Trust me, everyone who goes to a gym thinks people are staring at them. of if you have your earphones in you may see two people looking your way and laughing. Just hang in there and trust me when I say, they arent laughing at you you just think they are.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm in a COMPLETELY different age group, I'm only 18, but I am morbidly obese, weighing 210lbs at only 5'1". I was never super thin, my best body was a size 9 when I was 16, but I was very pretty, and people liked me. Now that I'm bigger I feel like people laugh at me because I still try to dress like I used to, but can't find my size, or when I go somewhere with people in my age group who are healthy, I feel like everyone is staring at me. The worst is when I go to a fast food chain, because I know people are thinking, "you shouldn't be here." I am totally empathetic to you. I know how hard it is to lose weight after you hit a rut, (for me it was having a baby that did it). And I understand the compulsive eating, I am the same way. sometimes I just want to eat until my body explodes, and that's because of the hole that the stress burrows into the heart and mind. We keep trying to fill this void, but it's only hindering us more. I hope that you are doing well and that the weight will come off with a good effort.

Thank you so much for your comment. I can tell that you really can relate to what I am going through. I know what you mean about the fast food restaurant. People can be so cruel. Bullies aren't just in schools. Adults can hurt others by making crude remarks. I asked a woman shopping in wal mart if she knew where an item was and she just turned and walked away, as though I didn't exist. I knew that if was still 130 lbs. she would have helped me. Being on this site is giving me an outlet that I never had before. I can't talk to my skinny sisters or anyone else in my family, because I am the only obese one. Getting my feelings out is going to help me in my quest to conquer my weight. I joined a gym. Now I am scared to go, because I know how people are going to react when they see me. I've just got to put myself first and go. I, like most women, do for everyone else and totally forget about myself. I am going to try to start putting myself first. I have to make some changes if I want to be better. Thank you for listening. It is helping me. I want you to try to put yourself first also, and have a happier life. You are the age of my granddaughter, and you have your whole life ahead of you. I will be 60 in a few months and I better get with the program if I don't want my family to have to purchase an oversize casket when I die. Live your life, because it really is so short. It seems like I should be 18, I have no idea where the time went. I don't want you to wait until you are old like me. Put yourself first now, enjoy your life right now, and lean on the people who love you in your family. I will be here if you ever need to talk. Good luck to you and thanks again.

I got out of the house today and took my dog for a walk. I am slowly going to try to get out and walk. My neighbors know me and don't make fun of me, so I think I will start walking. Baby steps. One step at a time and one issue at a time. Maybe getting out will help with my food addiction. I have to do something or I'm not going to live a long time. I have heart issues and I brought it on myself. So it is up to me to do something about it. Me and my cardiologist that is.