Fat, Lonely, Alone.

I would never have imagined myself alone at 24. Deep down, I genuinely like people.

I want friends, I would love to have a significant other. I have had relationships in the past, but I'm not even sure looking back how I found them.

When did I become the person in the room that everyone gawks at? I'm 320lbs now. It doesn't feel that big, let me tell you. It feels similarly to 280lbs or so.

I am going to school to help other people. There are times I wonder why I should bother wasting the time to spend 12 hours a day on my feet trying to save someone else. The only conclusion I can come to is that they deserve someone who will give it their all.

Even the meanest people, they deserve it. No one was born mean.

Anyway, I like video games, I like movies, I like writing and talking. I love science; Viruses are supremely interesting.

I had a man who 'loved me' but it turned out he was young and alone and needed someone to care. I am 24 with a number of relationships under my belt, but I cannot seem to find anyone else.

I accept that he is gone, but I feel like I cannot meet anyone without them seeing me as my weight. I am not my fat. I have not always been fat. I may or may not always be fat. I AM A PERSON STILL. I still have feelings. I still have a life. I still want to be something.

l don't want to feel like I am nothing/an embarrassment...
mercemii8787 mercemii8787
May 15, 2012