Let's Help Each Other

Hello everyone.
Back in 2003 I became ill literally overnight. Fever, migraine (new to me), joint pain, dizziness. After months of tests I was diagnosed with "Chronic Fatigue Syndrome". I lost my career (20 years in the Insurance business) and went from being an active happy person to being bedridden.

Along with the illness came depression. Lots of meds, lots of frustration, and mourning the loss of what had been my life before I got sick.

With the Chronic Fatigue came a new sedentary lifestyle. I slept a great deal of the time as I was given painkillers which knocked me out. Sure, I felt a bit sorry for myself, felt it was unfair, and was very frustrated to have some strange illness that many don't understand and apparently there is no cure.

When I tried to exercise I ended up in pain, completely exhausted, and bedridden for days following. It seemed that anything I did that used energy caused me a setback.

Well, that was 9 years ago and as you can imagine, 9 years of a sedentary life has resulted in weight gain.

As of yesterday morning, I was exactly 400.0 pounds. This past Nov I was at my highest of 441 and went to a residential facility for 6 weeks and lost 42 pounds. I was 399 the day I came home. Since I've been home I have lost and gained and lost and gained 21 pounds over and over. I got to 378 some months back but when stress hits, I eat and there's been lots of stress.

While I wish I lost more weight since I got home 8 months ago, I am grateful that I have not gained back what I lost when I was away. If I could afford it, I would go back there in a nanosecond, but these places are not cheap and insurance will not pay for me unless I have anorexia or bulimia.

What I know from all these years and attempts to lose is that we cannot do this alone. Also, not everyone understands what we are going through. I have a substance abuse problem and instead of alcohol or drugs, I use food.

I am looking for support from people who understand and from people who want help so I can support them as well.

I have yet to learn my way around this website, and I am not sure if there is a way to message me, but if there is, please do so.

With concern and understanding...
NeverEverEverGiveUp NeverEverEverGiveUp
46-50, F
2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

I am also 400 lbs. I want to lose weight so badly! I have 5 children and I want to be around to see them marry and have children. I know that won't happen if I don't do something about this weight! I want to play with my kids in the yard and walk anywhere without being stared at. I want to wear fashionable clothes and feel alive! I want help but don't know where to start....