I Feel So Disgusting....help!

hi my names emily. im 19, and im very obese. im 5'3" and i weight 265 lbs. i feel so disgusting and everytime i want to lose weight i eat more. i tried so many diets and lost nothing. i dont have diabetes, but i have low blood pressure and thyroid problem. i hate myself everyday and i dread waking up and looking at myself in the mirror. i feel like my own boyfriend hates me, he says he loves me and my body but i cant stand it! i hate going out in public and have people staring at me. its awkward. any suggestions on how i can gain confidence and lose weight?!
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26-30
Nov 29, 2012