Morbidly Obese The Rest Of My Life ?

I am currently 39 year old guy who will soon be 40. It all started when I was a kid. I remember being 260lbs in 5th grade. I got teased all the way through grade school. When I graduated high school in 1992 I weighed in at 592lbs. The sad part is I didn't even have a clue how much I actually weighed till I went to the drugstore one day and stepped on a digital scale. I felt so low I just wanted to crawl into the floor right there. I decided right there at that moment I had to do something. I started going on short walks and within about a 6 weeks I was walking almost 5 miles per night 5 days a week. Then I added something else to accelorate my weight loss. I started to gorge myself with food and throw it up. Within 6 months I lost almost 180lbs of the weight. I had to struggle very hard to keep all this up. So now I was just a little over 400lbs. Keep in mind both my parents were over 300lbs each so it was a household circle of wrong food eating/addiction. I thought to myself wow I have accomplished all of this. Then our family decided to move across country. What happened when I moved to a metro city? I felt on top of the world so I quit walking ( in a city I didn't exactly feel safe in yet ) and the weight slowly started to come back on over the next 8 years or so. I didn't gain all of the weight back but I am tipping the scales at just under 500lbs now. Back then I was in my early 20's now I am almost double that age. Thank God I haven't developed diabetes yet and I was on medication for high blood pressure. There were a few times I did lose about 80lbs, 50lbs with some extreme diet changes and exercise but I could never stick with it and keep going till I lost it all. So to this day I am about to give up. I am at my wits end on trying to lose this weight. After so many attempts in the past I feel I'm burnt out on trying again. I don't know why I no longer have the will and the strength to try again. Maybe it's all the past failures that don't give me hope? I wish I had the money these celebrities had to go and lose it. I would spend a large sum. I would give anything to be 250lbs and finally be happy. Does economics reflect your health and your food choices? YES it does. I do say money does play a huge role in "assisting" someone in any kind of help they need knowing they can't face it alone. I admit I don't feel I can do it alone. I guess I am not that strong willed and I need the support of a friend by my side to guide me in the right direction so I don't fail. Now let me tell you how my obesity has let my life pass me by. The emotional and financial cost is a sad fact for me. I feel if I would have successfully lost the weight when I was younger I would have gone to college, made more friends, had a wonderful social life, had a great career, able to meet someone to have a relationship with ( nobody seems to want you when your obese) , be able to get a license to drive a car. You know how sad it is to be that much of a loser in life? I never had very many friends. I never had any true genuine relationships. I always felt left out and alone. How about when you have to go to a doctors office and you can't fit in their chairs in the waiting room or when you go to a restaurant you can't fit in their chairs either. Then if you can fit your hoping you don't break them! How about fitting in someone else's car? Then you have the clothes your limited to wear. You end up paying double or triple for clothing and you can never find anything that fits right. All in all I feel that being obese since childhood has basically ruined my life and any chances of feeling I have been a successful person. I wish I had the will or the money or something to help me keep up the fight to lose this. At 39 you would think that I wouldn't be buying a home with my family and sharing a house. There's another problem - financially my family couldn't afford to own this home alone so after several roommates stiffing me on rent I felt it was my best option at the time but at the same token they are constantly buying and eating garbage ( junk foods, pastries, fatty meals, you name it ) so I tend to end up eating some of it. Maybe I'm weak? For the most part I did adapt to a vegetarian / vegan diet for the last 6 years and did have some success. Maybe it didn't give me a lot more health problems and has saved my health from getting much worse but I haven't gotten too far with dropping the weight. I pray someday I will find a solution that fits me or meet a soulmate that will give me some hope. I am just like the rest of you out there. I feel extremely trapped in my own fat obese body and I want to find a way to be normal for once in my life.
psychicmike psychicmike
36-40
8 Responses Jan 6, 2013

your not a loser you are you and if u need someone to talk to messge me i am judge

Hi I'd like to help u lose weight

i love fat men

Being obese doesn't make you a loser. It makes you human. Everyone has something that they wish that they can change about themselves. I can tell you the biggest challenge in my own weight battle is changing my thinking. When I see my spouse eating junk food, I used to think that I was missing out in something really good. Because let me tell you, I love food, and I have major trigger foods. I'm like a junkie looking for drugs. It is an addiction. But, I've started to change those thoughts. Now, I tell myself that I'm missing out on an early heart attack or stroke. My granny died at 63. I hope to live much longer. 100+, if I can. Second biggest problem was changing my eating habits. I get bored of the same "health food". I have to switch it up by learning new ways to prepare stuff. Last challenge, adding exercise. I hate cardio. Lifting weights, I'm fine with. But feeling sweaty and winded from cardio = not fun. Oddly enough, after cardio, I usually feel pretty good, even though my right leg aches. I can also tell you that having a "soul mate" isn't necessarily going to make you happy. Only you can make you happy. It's taken me a while to realize. I kept worrying that my spouse would cheat, and it still crosses my mind. I keep telling myself, I can't control whether he cheats or not. I can't make him happy, only he can. Just like he can't make me happy, only I can. So, I worry about me, and a side effect, he's happier because I'm not stressing him out with my fear. I'm happier because I'm not letting fear rule my life. You can't dwell on the past. Your only concern should be now forward. There are negatives to having a different way of life back then. Your past makes you... You. You could've ended up succumbing to peer pressure and being a druggie, maybe dead from overdose by now. Having lost weight doesn't guarantee that you would've succeeded then, so don't dwell on it. Being obese doesn't automatically make you unattractive. Attitude, and Confidence, when not good, and low does make someone unattractive. I happen to know that some people like larger people. Some don't care about size at all, just about the person in the body. I'm one of the latter. My spouse is short, obese, and balding, but I love him because he's also smart, funny, and good with our kids. Don't lose hope or give up. You seem to worry too much about what others think. You'd probably be surprised to find that many people aren't judging you, and even if they are, why does it matter? They don't know what has gotten you to this point in life. You worry about you, and who cares what they think.

i know how you feel about fitting into the chairs at the doctors office and other peoples cars. I have to ask for a chair every time I go into the doctors office.... Its in another office beside my doctors office. I have to ride in a truck or van. I make my own clothes. skirts and shirts is what I mainly wear. I was at 560 pounds. I have lost a few pounds. My doctor told me to start with hand weights. You can use cans or jugs with a little water in it. I started walking back and forth in my hall way. 15 steps each way.... When I started I couldn't go back and forth three times. I am finally up to 20 times several times a day. I keep track threw a site called sparkpeople.com. I want to get down below 350, then I decided I need the lap band...... Mainly because I can over eat. I keep track of my food intake but i have to get a scale just to make sure about the portions.
About School...... if you want to work on your schooling, there are a lot of online classes. you can work on your weight and school at home.
I am 50, I want to go to the ocean again, walk into it. not stand at the side and panic because with every wave I sink down two inches.... I hope you try again.... I let myself eat stuff that I shouldnt now and then. and on sundays Its my let go day.

Mike are you ready to turn your situation around? Who said you are going to be obese for the rest of your life? That's F.E.A.R. (false evidence appearing real).
Let me know Mike when you are ready to empower yourself and take control of your health. The solution we have can do that. Message me on Facebook: healthynsidenout. Now, goto you tube.
in the search window put in "Peter greenlaw". Watch his video. After that, in the search window put in "Dr. Messina".
After watching those two videos you just empowered yourself with knowledge. Contact be when you're ready...BE FREEE! Dan Miller

Man bro I feel you. Ive been big all my life too im 37. I weigh 488 lbs now, and feel the weight starting to affect my body. I have always been active growing up but now its really hard. Im ready to break out of this shell too.

Bigg,
I'm glad to hear you are ready to lose the fat. I have a solution that will help you achieve that. People I know personally lost 5-20 lbs in their first 11 days. Message be on Facebook: healthynsidenout. Also live smart today.
I'm ready to show you what we have to offer and get you started on your journey. If you ate committed to losing the weight then contact me. The company I am in business with us the world leader in nutrition and whole body nutritional cleansing.
God bless you man.
Dan Miller

Mike,
I have a solution to hep you lose weight. Through whole body nutritional cleansing we can get rid of the toxins and release the fat. If this is something you'd be interested in checking out then message me. I am on Facebook as well.
God bless you. I am ready to help you take your life back.
Facebook: healthynsidenout and live smart today. Send me a message.