Always A Daydream Away....

 I have always been the largest person in the room. I am the biggest person in my family, in my church, at my job..walking down a street. Sometimes I find myself looking for over weight people in the crowd..just in hopes that I may find someone bigger then me. It never happens though. I am always the "elephant in the room".

As a child I was the same size as the rest of my sisters, we often shared clothes due to there being 5 children of close age...but despite our identical sizes, just because I had chubby cheeks I was sought out as the fat kid in our family. I had to eat less then the others, I had to exercise longer then the others...and I was ridiculed by parent's and siblings as well as "measured" often and given special "promises and deals" for inch's and pounds loss. I spent so much time being told I was the fat one that I never even realized I was the same size as my siblings until years later when I had been looking at old photo's..burned in my brain for so long I never realized there was a time in my youth that I wasn't over weight at all.

I became ashamed of myself and hid from the world most of my childhood. This seemed the perfect excuse to terrorize me and thats just what my siblings and their friends did until one day, when I just stopped leaving my room altogether....I became larger and larger. When I turned 16yrs old I got my first job, I was very depressed and considered taking my own life many times. One day I just decided I was tired of being me and I began starving myself. I went from a size 22 to a size 12 in 7 months..I began my first sexual relationship when I was a few weeks off of turning 18yrs old...on my 18th birthday I found out I was pregnant.

I was stupid, I still viewed myself as fat and ugly..worth less then a "normal" person. I thought just because this guy was willing to look past my flaws that he must love me. And even though I swore I would never let him touch me without protection, what I thought was his vows of love quickly changed my mind. He dumped me as soon as he found out I was pregnant.

I gained alot of weight back during my pregnancy. After I had my first daughter I went right back to starving myself and dropped some of the weight quickly. When my daughter was 4 months old I met the man I am with now..we have been together for 12yrs. I got pregnant again, but lost the baby..soon after I was with child once more and considered a high risk pregnancy..I gained all the weight back. Later I began having heart problems that went misdiagnosed for 4yrs. The heart problems left me weak and afraid to do weight kept increasing...after some medical problems I stopped working for 4yrs, I have only just recently started back to work as a sales associate.

I am the largest I have ever been in my life...I am only 5'3 and I weigh over 360 pounds. I am unhappy and body is breaking down and everything I do causes one pain or another. Even sitting here at the computer makes my back ache, my hips hurt and my feet swell.

I need some friends that understand what I am going through..that I can talk to about the embarrassing things that happen to over weight people..I can honestly say I don't know anyone personally who is as big as I am.



largerthanlife78 largerthanlife78
36-40, F
68 Responses Jan 12, 2010

I understand exactly where you are coming from I am morbidly obese myself. I weigh 285 pounds. I have many health problems due to my weight. If you want to you can add me as a friend.

I haven't been on ep in a while. So much has happen to me over the last two years that I just couldn't even look here too many dumb guys wanting to Skype. But I was playing solitaire on my phone and it notified me this story experience of the day. I am about 225 pounds and I'm 5ft 2 in. I too wasn't fat as a kid. I rember in the girls locker room some skinny ***** saying I'm doing a survey would u rather be fat or flat. Ugh I said fat. Felt like I doomed myself years ago. Began eating to stuff feelings. Did drugs to loose weight. I had a child gained weight and about 12 yrs ago went on a diet Micheal thurmans body's sculpting program and was a size 8 but when I looked in the mirror I didn't see it. So of course gained it slowly back. Then in 2008 my 18 year old daughter died she was hit by a car my stories are here on EP. I am 55 fat again and if you would like some one to talk to I can so relate. Didn't read your profile don't know your age feel free to message me. I will go clear all my messages now so if I am get a notification I'll look to see if u. One way or the other I wish you the best in your lifelong struggle. It's a burden that people with either body or emotional eating are stuck with. People who can eat all they want or people who weren't made fun of they can't understand. Some people say to me why don't u just not eat that. For me the only control in my life I have is what I put in my mouth. I'll eat what I want , thank u very much. But.... Then we still gotta dress in the morning and go out buy clothes. But I know you understand by what I read. May God bless u. Peace and love ~ iamstillrighthere

Hi , I think you are amazing for sharing this and you shouldn't let anyone put you because it's really about what is on the inside not on the outside , honestly I think you should put aside what people think and believe in yourself and also know that you are beautiful no matter what

I am 26 y.o and I live in Asia, I am size 10-12 US. This may be a normal size to other countries in the world but where from where I am, and the family I am with, this is already very big. I have suffered with the same stigma all my life. I was the biggest in my whole family and they're often making fun of me because of this. I was not able to escape this bullying in school either because I was also the biggest in my class. I grew up without confidence and unsure of my skills because I thought no one would take me seriously because I am fat.

none of this is your fault. you should not have been treated that way as a child but in all honesty i say fight back! you have a child that needs you. dont give up x here for you x 💖

Please allow me to share my story with you, SG, so that you know that you are not alone.

As my wife Beverly entered middle age, she developed an uncontrollable urge to eat rich, fattening foods. She confessed to spending long afternoons at food courts or all-you-can-eat buffets, 'devouring everything in sight.' I found further evidence of binges in her car in the form of wrappers and bags from various fast food restaurants. At home, she would sit in her bedroom eating pizzas and fried chicken and whole pies or cakes. No sooner did she get up in the morning, which was usually past 10, than she was back in bed eating donuts and drinking chocolate milk before making herself pancakes and bacon. She eventually became unable control her appetite in public, stuffing herself when we went out to the point of being unable to move, so that I would have to help her to the car, which I found EXTREMELY embarrassing, especially when we were seen that way by friends or neighbors, though Bev would merely laugh these incidents off. It wasn't long before she'd put on so much weight that she could no longer fit comfortably into any of her clothes. 'I'll just have to wear a girdle,' was her response to this problem. People began to say of her that she'd 'let herself go.' In fact, it was a vicious cycle. The more the poor woman ate the heavier she became and the heavier she became the more she ate. Unable to stop eating, her weight soared to over 400 lbs.. Her mother called her a 'glutton' and told her that 'she should ashamed of herself,' and all Bev could do was hang her head and say 'I know, Mom.'

Her obsession with food took its toll on our marriage. We began sleeping in separate bedrooms, mainly because of her nightly habit of going downstairs for a 'snack' that would last for hours. Once I found her sitting at the kitchen table at 2 am in front of a very large Italian carry-out meal, completely out of control, eating frenziedly with her hands, her soiled nightgown and undergarments strewn on the floor. Aghast, I pleaded with her to seek help, but she just looked up at me pleadingly and moaned 'Jerry I can't stop, I can't stop.' I now more or less looked the other way when she overeats, content to spend more time on my business. She, meanwhile, is convinced that I'm going leave her for someone else, 'someone slim and pretty, with whom a man would be proud to be seen.' The other night she got down on her hands and knees and pleaded with me to let her go with me on an upcoming business trip.

as long as you could breathe you can make a change we can make

Hi I'd like to help u lose weight?

I hope you can get pass this horrible situation. Please don't give up.

Your a wonderful person. I completely understand how you feel. Our stories are very similar. I too am always the biggest one in the room. I too had parents who would try and bribe me to lose weight and made me feel I was huge even though I was only about15 pounds overweight. It really stuck with me and has made me the person I am today. I really feel they thought they were doing good by their actions, but actually did my mind harm. At least I learned by it and won't do that to my son. As an adult in my 40's I still plan on losing the weight so I can be healthy. So far it hasn't happened. I think about my weight constantly whether I want to or not. My body is in pain all the time and I'm having a hard time walking due to my weight. I pray everyday I'm gonna get my mind set and accomplish the goal I have to lose the weight. I hold your hand,and understand what your going thru. Please hang in there. I will try too. We can do it. I'm gonna try one day at a time. I don't want to die. I can't bare the thought of leaving my son behind. He's my angel. Hopefully I helped you. ;

I'm 33 years old, 5'3" and last time I weighed in I was close to 340lbs. I've gained since then, but not sure how much. You're not alone.

I'm 31 years old and at 5'6", I weigh in at 368lbs. Trust me when I say I feel your pain fully!

Hi Iam bigger than you! I fully understand your pain at 29 i feel like 59 years old. I have been all my life my biggest is now and it sucks!! I wanna do so much but I can't cause I am fat!! Life will change soon

Hi my name is Jennifer in
just wanted to say it's not what is on the outside that matters. Your are a lovely person and if u ever need to talk until can talk to me

Message me. I'm obese too. Very obese. Nobody understands us. We have feelings too. My husband left me saying it was because I was fat. I was smaller while I was married than I was when we were dating.

Hi I'd like to help u when willu be online

I understand. I'm 5'1 and weigh 302. I've never told anyone how much I weigh before. It's more than my husband. And I'm always the fattest person everywhere. I've lost a few friends because of my addiction to food. Now my daughter is overweight and it's my fault. She's only 12.

She's only 12, that's right, 6 more years before she start stuffing herself outside your reach. Act noaw.

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we that are heavy are not happy and we don't feel well,we see thepredjiduce in peopl's eye's,they act as if it will rub off on them!we don't want to be this way and it's not about food it's about lack of self's about stress and family and teacher's many yrs.ago who treated me like a freak and the self loath continues.we all have a cross to carry and this is mine.and no i don't sit and eat at 62 have to work and work hard,as i was not hired on at a better job over the yrs.due to being queen day drs.will find it was not our fault,maybe a missing gene.hang in there.

?!?! Are you me? <br />
<br />
I had two younger brothers.. I hit a growth spurt early and at 11 was 5'3 and 120 lbs.. and told I was HUGE for an 11 yr old.. always thought I was SO FAT.. Always given salad when my brothers were served fried chicken.. It is only now, looking back at the pictures that I see I was "normal sized" until after university.. Good heavens.. I would have answered without hesitation when anyone asked if I had always been fat with a YES.. but apparently.. I was NOT always fat. Weird. I am now though, and nothing I do can shake the weight. I can job 1 km. I can play football and soccer. My fat belly flaps when I run, but it cant be helped. I am 280lbs and 5 '4 and can bench press 110lbs and leg press about 600. I go to the gym, I believe I eat healthfully.... I had a lot of trouble carrying boy babies but I did give birth to three beautiful girl babies :) You have given me much to think about. Thank you.

I have to say your story is somewhat familiar as mine. It hurst, i know how you feel/felt. I am sorry and hope all is better but i know as in my life that is likely wishfull thinking. I tto thought about suicide and am embarressed just walking down the street. I feel worthless because of the way people treat me and hope you are not treated this way now.

i read your story and was immediatley able to relate. i too was always considered the fat one of my family. always put on diets, exercise regimes. i had to eat different from everybody else. i was always being weighed and measured. i was always told i was too fat, too big , too hungry. i was told it was my fault because i was lazy, and i didnt exercise ( which i did on my own). till this day. a year ago i weighed 170, now i weigh 215 and getting bigger. the bigger i get, the worse they make me feel. the worse they make me feel, the harder it is.

i thank you for your story , it touched me , you see i have un older brother, thats very overweight, he is oh so shy and only leaves the house maybey once a year. i love him but not sure what i can do for him.i know he is hurting inside. i try to talk to him , but he say i can never understand how he feels.and i have too admit he's right, i only see his pain on the outside not what he feels inside, he's 55 and in some ways so child like. he does not understand why people dont like him.. i got him a computer so he could talk to others, but hes to shy to make first move

Your post caught my eye when you said "the largest person in the room"- I just wrote a book called The Fattest Guy In The Room about growing up overweight... It felt good to share my stories of struggle and not being accepted. Best of luck- Big Mike Sangiamo<br />
<br />

If you want to lose your weight, you can. Don't make things complicated for yourself, keep them simple. White bread, pasta, potatoes - cut these things out, as they are basically sugar. Slowly, over several weeks reduce all your consumption of processed foods. Change the way you eat forever and eat naturally, chew slower and for longer, smell your food a lot and drink water instead of snacking at times. Exercise as much as possible, get your heart going just enough at this point that it's muscle will start to get stronger. I have lost weight this way and you will too. Remember: Sugar, Vegetable Fat, Hydrogenated Fats (all Lipids), Pasta, Rice, Bread,Potatoes - these are all your enemy right now, as well as fruit juices with added sugar, cola etc. When you eat a meal conataining too much sugar (say,even in the form of pasta, even raisins,chocolate,anything that is a big glob of glucose), your liver stores the extra sugar as fat cells in the nearest place to it - around itself. By eating meals that contain less fat and sugar it will cease to perform this action and your body cxan go right ahead and turn that natural healthy food you're eating into energy for your get up and go. It may be difficult adjusting your insulin to less sugar and salt if you are eating a lot so do it slowly yet surely and keep a mind as to what you are eating. You may find that you have been poisoning yourself with the wrong foods. You don't have to keep doing this. Get involved in something that doesn't include food and to take your mind away from snacking. <br />
This will work for you and improve your health. Keep it simple - Look after yourself!<br />
All the best

One thing I did not know about yo-yo dieting is that it is very hard on your gall-blatter.<br />
<br />
I recently had to have mine removed and I never eat fried, greasy or spicy food. But I have been<br />
a victim of dieting this way. Always looking for a quick fix.<br />
<br />
I hate it when people less and exercise more. Right.<br />
<br />
Any exercise tapes for old women with two knee replacements? NO.<br />
<br />
But I have found that with Weight Watchers Online and a trampoline (small) I can eat less and exercise more. <br />
<br />
BUT never lose more than 2 lbs a week.<br />
<br />
My dad is 91, and can't walk. So I have good genes for long live, I better take the excess weight off or I will be sitting watching TV and peeing in diapers....<br />
<br />
Try even 1 lb a week.. But do it for your health, not looks or what people think. YOU will be the<br />
elderly person with too much weight...and it is harder as you get older (I am 60).<br />
<br />
Funny story, my grandmother said I don't know why people think slim fast works. I bought a can of the powerd and drand the entire can up in two days. (That is about 5000 calories per day).<br />
<br />
LOL I don't think that was the entent of the product. I asked her if she drank water...No was her reply, water rusts your pipes! But when she went into a nursing home that fed her differently and got her moving and she lost 75 lbs.<br />
<br />
Don't be down on your self. You are not alone and losing weight is as hard as stopping smoking or drinking problems... There are groups that can help you and you should join and find the key to YOUR success! Then let us know what it was!!!<br />
<br />
Prays to you - Sincerely

Thanks. I usually cringe when i communicate with large people. I am between 300 and 320pounds. I am not used to the pound system . I felt ok reading your story. Kinda wish you lived in Montreal so I could meet you in person. Don't know how this communication things works. Wouldn't mind having emails exchanged wit you if you want.<br />
<br />
Cheers<br />

Anyone, and I do mean anyone who want to lose weight can do so, forget all about the blame game, the guilt trips, the drama and the crap people put you through when you are overweight. All you need to do is educate yourself on eliminating the poison from your diet that the American Food industry is shoveling down our throats. Watch this clip, it will change your life if you are willing to change the types of food you eat. Its hard and if you aren't willing to permanently give up some of your favorites foods, you don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of losing weight and keeping it off and living with the diet choices you have made. Anyhow here is the clip, watch it, apply it, it can change your life forever...

Listen, everyone. I have been through the ups and down of weight loss and gain. Its all about a lifestyle change, not dieting. All these shots and pills and crash diets only make our situations worse. I have been blessed by a neighbor who approached me with the Body by Vi 90 day challenge. Before the skeptics jump in, I've just finished my new video. . Take a look is all I ask. I have lost 15 pounds in the past 4 weeks. The first three days were not easy but it has changed my life and the way I look at food, spending money, and my energy level has gone through the roof. I wish yu well and remember you can change victory loves preparation.

Hi. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I ALWAYS look for people who are bigger then me, but it never happens. I"m the biggest person in every room. I am 5'6 and weight 350. I can not believe this is my life. I do not like to even go out of the house. My body is starting to fail me, and I am scared.

i was always critisized as a child for being 'fat,' too... i didn't actually become overweight until i entered middle school. i am the largest person in my family, the largest of all my friends (not that i have many), & i was the largest person in my last job. i worked in an office full of women that ranged in size 1-6. and i know this for a fact, because for awhie i washed the scrubs for extra money. on my 2nd day there, i used the bathroom,& snapped the toilet seat in half when i tried to wipe. i'm sorry for all the hurtful things people have said/ done to you.

I totally can relate to your situation I have been large most of my life and I had yo yo dieted many times for me just to gain back the weight plus more so now im weighing in at 455lbs from 220lbs and i do get looked at alot as well as degative comments about how big i am so now im very confident about my weight and i do enjoy good foods and im not worried anymore about how large I am im just me and I enjoy things as if i were smaller.

When I was a child I was told I was fat too, by my Father and my Mother. My Mom was (is) obese and when my dad left her he told her it was because she was fat, and on the way out the door he told me to watch out because I was on my way there also. This stayed with me for 15 years. I grew up wearing oversized shapeless clothes to hide my body, as suggested by my Mom. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I realized I was never fat, I was an average sized kid and teenager. I also realized that my Dad's a jerk, but that's another story altogether. Truly, I was so convinced that I was fat that I couldn't look at myself ob<x>jectively. Kids are a product of their upbringing and parents can do a ton of damage without realizing it.<br />
I don't know you and I don't mean to be too personal, but can I suggest you go to therapy? Sounds like you are still suffering from the unfair treatment you received from your family. They should have not said and done what they did to you as a child. Children are blameless, so I think you shouldn't blame only yourself for your problems today, remember your parents created you and your situation. <br />
I'm not saying adults aren't responsible for their own actions, but there is a child inside each of us and children need to be tended with love and care.<br />
Good luck, I hope you succeed, for your sake and your childrens.

The saddest part of your story is the way you were abused by your family members - in particular your parents! These are the people who should have loved and protected you, not joined in with the abuse. And offering rewards for unlikely goals was just cruel. It was not meant to help you and in fact it set you up for more failure, a cruelty they clearly knew would undermine your happiness. Clearly, your siblings' insecurities and self-hatred was manifested by their persecution of you, the supposed "fat one". In reality you were the family scapegoat. <br />
<br />
Many families have a scapegoat for different reasons and often not because of weight. Often a person is the scapegoat because of psychological issues within the family. I wouldn't be surprised if even at the time your family offered you rewards to lose weight they also sabotaged your efforts by tempting you with fattening foods they knew you liked. Your family is highly dysfunctional and downright abusive. What a shame you didn't tell anyone, even your guidance counsellor or a schoolteacher. But you were young and too ashamed. Abuse in your mind was deserved and, like many people, you thought that abuse only meant being beaten when abuse encompasses a lot of other forms, such as your verbal and emotional abuse. <br />
<br />
Your current problem may well also be medical and of course you know you need to visit your medical doctor to get tested for many conditions that may have been caused by your weight (just as you didn't know you had a heart problem for 4 years). At the same visit you must instill upon your doctor your concerns about your obesity and your sincere desire to lose weight. Tell him or her about your depression and your low self-esteem. Tell that person about the abuse you suffered by your family. It is important that you tell this person everything and don't be embarrassed. Your doctor has seen and heard it all, believe you me, and much sadder and more tragic stories than yours, believe it or not. <br />
<br />
It wouldn't hurt to see a psychiatrist to discuss the underlying issues that have led to your obesity - namely the abuse you suffered from your family members. Clearly these are wounds that have not healed and until they do you will continue to remain depressed and overweight. Your doctor might give you a referral after hearing your story - but only if s/he knows about it.<br />
<br />
Your next step may be to visit a nutritionist. Go to a woman if a man is awkward for you. She should be highly sympathetic and eager to help you. If you don't like the experience then get a new one. Never tolerate abuse again, from your family, strangers or professionals. This person should be able to put together a realistic, enjoyable meal plan for you that is easy for you to follow and should allow for some favourite foods in your diet. Food is fun! There is no reason for you not to enjoy it guilt-free. <br />
<br />
Understanding fat and how it is accumulated is another good strategy. I assume you have done a lot of research in this area. Your nutritionist can also help you with that. Stay current on this topic however because medical research changes in this area all the time. Did you know for instance that these are some actual, real causes of obesity:<br />
Cushings Disease<br />
Cushings Syndrome (these are women problems related to estrogen, etc and you may want to see a specialist and find out if that is a diagnosis that might apply to you)<br />
genetics<br />
epi-genetics<br />
brain chemistry - miswiring that doesn't know how to tell when you are hungry<br />
hunger<br />
eating an inappropriate diet that doesn't satisfy hunger for long enough periods leading to more overeating<br />
psychological, emotional, and sexual abuse (especially ******)and many more.<br />
<br />
You deserve to feel good about yourself and to start living your life. Today would be a great time to pick up the phone and make the first call. Have courage and if your family is still abusing you cut them off cold. You have your own family now. You don't need them or their abuse any longer.<br />
<br />
The above suggestions about "big is beautiful", "accept yourself as you are" are well-intended but they don't address your emotional abuse and they miss the point: you don't feel beautiful for many reasons and clearly you don't want to be a big lady anymore. Try this route instead and see if you have some results. Even minimal results are something to celebrate and may help with your depression.

OOPS Email address is :) OR you can reach me directly at

Greetings friends, I am so touched reading the encouraging words of support everyone gives each other. To introduce myself, my name is Caroline & I am currently working for a health club. I never felt comfortable in my own skin, and I do understand the heartache & frustration we all experience though some feel MUCH worse than others. I'm really interested in getting my club to prove everyone who's in this group, w/ complimentary "personal" training & nutritional counseling. It would be through the web, but I'd like to do webchats & personal training through iChats/Skype etc. Anyone have thoughts on this? Anyone interested? Totally complimentary, no strings attached, we can chat by phone and on internet etc. Our club's phone number is 516-678-9400 (so you can see I'm legit LOL) and our site is I really look forward to providing complimentary services to those in need of a life change - make yourself feel better and healthier; we'll take the thinking out of it and we'll develop beautiful friendships together! I just think anyone who has the knowledge has a responsibility to share it w/ others besides when we are "paid" for it; it's a blessing to be successful w/ what we do, so I'm volunteering my club to help you all at no cost. Sharing the love XOXO Responses are welcome! Also can reply to:

Hi there, I read your story and so much of it echos my own. I wanted to share with you something that I have been doing for the past 28 days, It is called Setting Captives Free - The Lord's Table. I don't know if you can post links onto this website, I will try but just in case it doesn't come through, you can Google search the name and it should take you to the site. Love to you and God bless.

Omgoodness, that picture of you... you are beautiful.<br />
<br />
Have you not heard the term "Big and beautiful?"<br />
You are both my dear lady.<br />
You look like a resemblance of my mother. Beautiful caring nature, wonderful hair, and in insecure smile.<br />
Be happy with who and what you are. Once you are happy with yourself, others will be happy with you as well.<br />
<br />
It is ba<x>sed on you, and you alone.<br />
You have been married for 12 years. does that not tell you anything?<br />
<br />
:) smile, we love you.

hey. <br />
your story is truly inspiring. i hope that through your experinces you learned that unless you take pride in yourself no one else will. who cares what other people think? the only thing that is important is how you feel about yourself, and if your not happy with yourself than make a change. and just because you are not in the most comfortable place with yourself right now it is still no excuse for you to let others opinion get to you. i used to care about my family's and friends opinion about my life, weight, and in general everything. now i dont give a **** about that anymore, and to be honest i feel like i am in a really good place in my life. of course there is still areas in my life that i want to improve in, but i work hard to make myself happy and not others. it might seem selfish, but its not, its all about having confidence in yourself.

I love you! You're not alone and you can do all thing through Christ who strengthens you. One day I will be a doctor and I only pray that I can help change the lives of people just like you. You are beautiful and you are worth it. <3 Miranda

I love you! You're not alone and you can do all thing through Christ who strengthens you. One day I will be a doctor and I only pray that I can help change the lives of people just like you. You are beautiful and you are worth it. <3 Miranda

I am 5'8 and weigh 318. Some of the weight is due to being pregnant but normally I weigh anywhere from 280-310. I have been struggling with my weight all my life and am determined to loss weight after my baby boy is born. I am tired of being passed over because people think I am to big to be fun or work just as much as other people do. Sure I get tired but I can still hold my own. I work as a caregiver/nanny and that is not easy work but it seems to be the only kind of work I can get were people arent looking at me differently because I'm over-weight. I know I have deep emotion problems from being over -weight. Ive just never been strong enough to loss the weight. I hope I can be strong this time. I hope others can find the strength as well....

I do understand what you are going thru...I am 61 yrs old and in 2003, I only weighed in at about 155. I was happily married and we bought a house. I made the decision that I was going to hang some drapes and I fell off the ladder, only about 3 ft but I shattered my left knee cap and I fractured my left femur in a spiral break. I was bed bound for almost 7 months. When I was finally recovered enough to start walking again, although with crutches, then a walker, then a quad cane, then a regular cane. I was well over 240 pounds and I have been fighting the weight but today I weigh about 264. I have been under a dietitian and as well in a doctor's care, but the problem is that because I am a diabetic and I have osteoarthritis as well as osteoporosis, my aches and pains have kept me mostly sedentary so the weight is an ever present enemy.<br />
Perhaps this will give you some hope as I see it as a positive thing.<br />
My doctor has put me on a calcium and vitamin D protocol. and I have actually gained an inch in height. I have been seeing a PT for the pain and my pain management doctor has been giving me cortisone shots as well as pain meds so that I am not in as much pain anymore and I can move around better. I have decided to have bariatric surgery, and am now going thru the program to be a patient. My doctor tells me that I will lose about half of my weight in the year following the surgery.<br />
What that tells me is that in a year or so I will lose about 130 pounds and I will probably be dealing with other problems but at least I won't be fat.<br />
You are too young and probably too pretty to be so fat and it will probably take a drastic measure for you to become a thinner person but you will have to do it and you are the only one you should do it for. The quality of your life is very sad and you know I am telling you the truth. You are a child of The Most High and you deserve to be happy. Talk to God, if you don't have one, then talk to mine. Then be silent and just listen. He will show you a way and lead you to the people you need in your life, to help you in your life, as He has done mine. That is what I did and that is all I did. I am a Faith Christian, and while you may think that this is not about religion, I agree. I am not a religious person, but I have a God that wants me to be happy and my flesh wants me to be miserable. I prefer to listen to God. I did not get fat overnight and I know I won't get thinner overnight either but I needed help and I finally decided to ask God to lead me to it.<br />
Yes, I do still find it hard not to eat a whole pizza or pecan pie by myself but with the help of the bariatric surgery I won't be able to eat it anymore and I will lose the extra weight.<br />
I realize that many people will want to give me advice, please keep it,as I am not interested in anyone else's opinion except my own, and I have plenty of advice of my own left over to give to any one else that needs it, lol..

I am a raw foodist. I always thought of myself as being the "big one" in my family, but the truth is that was just my mind playing tricks on my. I am healthy now because I chose to change my relationship with food. I love food!! Eating is good!! It's what I eat that has changed. It's how I treat myself and how I look at myself that has changed. It's about who I let into my life that has changed. I hope that you find your path of light and happiness just as I have. Many blessings!

Dear LargerThanLife78,<br />
<br />
Thanks for sharing your story with us, and no, I don't think that you should think negatively about yourself, because those awful things that your saying about yourself, I don't see them as being true facts. Get rid of your negative thoughts because nobody on God's Earth is perfect. <br />
<br />
I had a 4-year-old student that came from a famous religious school. People there, including the teachers told she and her parents that there was something wrong with her. They called her parents on a daily basis to disclose negative information all the time about her attacking their students or labeled her as being an MR (mentally retarded). This girl actually walked with an Egore limp with a slight hunch.<br />
<br />
The first day she came to our school she attacked at least 1 person. The parents immediately became afraid of her. I had a discussion with hr about attacking our student and made her apologize. For a couple of weeks I watched her. I told her that she understood me very well and I asked her why she was walking with a limp. I told her to stop dragging her feet. In fact, I would talk common sense to her all of the time. She eventually started walking normal and her attacks basically stopped. She basically responded like a normal child. She basically became what they wanted because of perhaps the attention she wanted. She became one of my honor roll students. Her parents told me that she wanted to be in group 1. I can also say that her parents rarely ever got a phone call from us. I taught her how to read, do addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, fractions, and percentages. She tested high at the other schools. Usually my 5 and 6 year olds test out to 1st and 2nd grade level. <br />
<br />
The thing is who those people deemed her to be, her character, they were totally wrong. She became who they said she was, but that wasn't her at all. She just needed someone to tell her that. She's a wonderful and outstanding girl. She even did a performance and got an ovation from the audience. There is nothing this girl will not be able to do. She's very outgoing. She's a people person. <br />
<br />
Like she needed someone to tell her that, I need to tell you. Don't be what people say that you are; be who you are and don't let people tell you otherwise. Besides, what do you care about what they think? Only care about what you think of yourself. All you need is Christian values and you can't go wrong. <br />
<br />
Take brisk walks. Carry some weights and work your arms while walking. When or if able walk up and down stairs. It burns alot of calories. I believe as much as running in place. And by the way, you burn more FAT calories when you run in place. Also, the heavier you are the more calories you can burn per minute. A good family activity is to bike ride. It also delays your ability to be postmenopausal. Eat like Chinese foods and Chinese like foods with bits of meats lots of rice, etc. . Eat vegetable stews. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. <br />
<br />
I can actually help you. I need to help alot of people, so perhaps I'll put something together later. You can always reach me at<br />
<br />
God Bless

GOSH, You're pretty :D

Don't forget who you are. Don't think about your weight all the time. That will only make you think of food. I went through my life with everyone calling me "thunder thighs". I do know what it is like to go to a department store for cloths and only buying shoes and a new handbag because they were the only things that fit. Now I am 131lbs. and I am your height. Postpone eating by doing other things. Try to find happiness from within, and you will lose weight naturally. Yo-yo dieting does not work, starvation diets make it harder to lose weight, because your body goes into a starvation mode at won't burn calories, as if you were eating. I have met a wonderful woman in a hospital. She weighed 800 lbs. She was hospitalized because she could not lie down flat, the weight of her chest would crush her. She would have been overjoyed to be your size. Don't miss out on life, because you are afraid tobe seen, I have done that. Have more confidence in who you are, not what you eat.

Hello,your story is so like my life.Trying to get people to understand how your feeling.My sister is very slim and i have allways been the biggest in my family.In fact i'm the biggest person living in this village.I just smile and i know that i am a nice person.I know my husband lives me and i have a lovely little girl.I do feel that people think they are going to catch fat by talking to me and some people are very rude to my face and behind my back.By the way i am far far bigger than you and my health is starting to be affected by my weight.I have tried all the slimming clubs and i know that i have got to do something,but monday morning comes round and i start the diet.Monday afternoon and i have failed.Thats what i don't like,feeling a failure all the time.Keep smiling and get in touch if you want to have a chat.

Stop thnking yourself as fat or obese. I was an overweight child and so was by brother. When I started to learn portion control and lost the weight, my mother did everything she could to make me fat again. I have a 30inch waist and I am a 36D bra size. I weigh approximatly 32 pounds and I am only 5'4". I still see me as a fat person. Incidentally, starvation diets backfire. You body goes into a starvation mode, that slows down your metabolism to hold on to what you have. You need someone to boost your self-esteem. If not you need to find it within yourself. I met a woman who was over 800 lbsl. when I was in the hospital. She could not lie down, because the weight on her chest would kill her. Try to get outside as much as possible. Do not try fad diets.<br />
I would also ask myself if I want to be that way. What is past is past. Don't curl up with yesterdays problems to give you an excuse. Don't you want to be in life? Is depresssion the cause of over-eating? I really feel for you. When I had a 27inch waist my x-husband told me does it not trouble you to look the way you do. I believe the people that were around me had been the problem. I do know the pain you are going through.

Leave all your problems to god..there's nothing that god cant solve. Keep meditating keep praying and things will work out:).

Hi Daydream. I think that eating is eating is only a symptom of the real problem. Eating has become a way of handling, or rather not handling, your emotions. So many people have bariatric surgeries and lose the weight only to gain it back. Why? Because once the rush of losing weight fades, they are still left with not knowing how to handle their emotions, so they return to their old coping mechanism once again. <br />
<br />
Binge eating and compulsive overeating are eating disorders and should be treated as such. Go to counseling and put your demons to rest so that you can be free and learn to love and accept yourself. Go to a nutritionist so that you can get a good foundation for healthy eating. <br />
<br />
If movement is painful for you, you can try water aerobics. That is much gentler on your body.

Hi, first of all am soo sorry about that feeling you do feel<br />
second thing , please forgive me about my bad English spelling and speaking<br />
Third thing which is the main thing I have been trying all kind of diets and all kinds of sports for long long time they work but not really fine the minute I stop or finish i come back to gain a lot of weight again tell I found the best solution ever it's not an advertising for it but i have been using it now for about 4 months and my wife too <br />
Everybody is really surprised and shocked about what we have done !!! That’s really true and I could not believe it too cause the effect is really amazing and fast according to what we had lost of wait, we followed a program CALLED (6PACK APS) and it talks about (LIFE STYLE) means it is your life way fore ever going back to nature but in a professional way ,, I lost till now around 22kg I don’t know how much is that in bounds but it's a lot I guess , although it's fast effect but not dangerous at all , my problem is my language I can’t explain it will but if you or any other interested person want more details you can contact me through my messenger or even by email, But believe me this thing really works , other than that you can control your whole life too you will be able to eat anything you like but in a certain way <br />
<br />
<br />
Thanks for letting me share with my idea<br />
And please forgive me all about my bad bad language<br />
<br />
Regards,<br />
<br />
Mohammad<br />
Telecommunications Eng <br />

Surely there are days when you've been happy? Why don't you focus on these. On the great times you've enjoyed yourself. There is more to life than weight? You're worth a lot more than your weight. Look at all those people who love you despite the weight. Your kid and husband of whom you are an important part of their lives. Get up and work off the weight one day at a time while appreciating the good things that life has given you. Create more pleasant memories.

hey me too have the same problem,i am 5feet 5inches and weight upto 300 pounds.the doctor says i am morbidly obese and may not live to grow old.i am the fattest in my college,at my home and most of the time people stare at me or pass comments behind my back.i know i need to get slim but nothing seems to work for me.i am not supposed to exercise because the doctors have advised against it,diet pills are nonsense,sometimes i feel like killing my self.i know what u are going seems like the world is so cruel on us.

For all that are overweight or obese, keep this in mind. Soonner or later the lights go out and its no longer what you look like that matters. Question is are you happy with who is standing there then? It might make you feel a little better to lose some weight , but even that cant heal and change how you feel about yourself internally. So lets start with the inside. Keep motivational calendars nearby so that its the first thing you read in the morning. Keep it everywhere. Find something your good at , and spend a little time doing that so that you learn to feel pride within. You have to retrain the way you think of yourself. If you dont like who you are, others will key in on that and jump on the bandwagon. Why? Because, putting someone else down makes that person ignore their own downfalls and makes them feel powerful. Take that power back. No one has power over you except God. Find some groups, maybe at church, or the internet, not necessarilly of overweight people , but of new friends that will take the time to get to know you and be there to listen. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. Seperate the two and work on being the person you want to be within. The rest will fall in place. When you start feeling better and liking who you are, you will have more energy, be more ambitious, want to do more and accomplish more, and all that will lead to mobility and happiness and reflect on your weight in turn. Dont let peoples snide remarks hurt you or have any power. Instead, take a moment to pity them. What kind of person breaks someone else down. AN UNHAPPY ONE. A happy one will be greatful that you are in their life and build you up. Reject the unhappy and accept some new happy people in you life. Love to all of you.

I think you need to love yourself regardless of what you think other people think of you, of how they see you (which might not even be what you're thinking). Appreciate yourself, you have a man that loved you for you and nothing else, it's time for you to love yourself for you! If you ever decide to change your appearance again and go on diet it should be because you want the change, not because you want to fit in, or you want other people to view you defferently........stuff everyone else, this is your life, be happy, be healthy for you and your your life. You are special, we are all special.....we have our flaws but who doesn't? I wish you all the love, and inner happiness.

My girlfriend had many of the same childhood issues. She too was always the "fat one."<br />
She has become a much more comfortable(for her) weight since we've been together. She didn't go on a "diet", she lost the weight because I helped her to empower herself and because I accidentally made her vegan by showing her the movie "earthlings". She still has some hurt and pain about the whole "fat" thing sometimes, but she just keeps working on feeling better and becoming more true to herself every day.<br />
<br />
Squigglefish has a point about the acid/alkalizing thing. My girlfriend believes that is part of what helped her get to a more comfortable size. She was eating mostly raw foods when she was her slimmest and says it was the most awesome she has ever felt. Just something to consider. <br />
<br />
For emotional fortification, may I suggest the book <br />
"Fat!So?:Because You Don't Have to Apologize for Your Size." <br /><br />
It changed my life. This book really helped me to feel better about myself, more comfortable about dealing with differences(not only weight based) and to get rid of some of these stupid societal expectations I had been unknowingly holding on to. It is a fat pride book, yes, but more than that it is a self acceptance anthem. I know that at this point in your life a "fat pride book" may sound a little ridiculous and stupid to you, but please, just check it out.

I have also always been the fat kid around. Just recently I came across a video on youtube called "Fat Rant" by Joy Nash. It has been one of the most inspirational things I have ever watched in my life. Joy Nash has a fantastic amount of self esteem that just seems to rub off on you. I watch it every time I feel crappy or that I dislike myself. Here is the link I recommend it very highly. I know this is easier said then done but don't be so hard on your self. You have a family that loves you. Try and embrace that. Don't be so hard on yourself because people in the world suck and make you feel bad about yourself. You're beautiful the way you are.<br />
<br />
This is a link to Overeater's Anonymous. It has changed my life. I promise you, it will change yours.

Your story is more the norm than most of us realise. I would not consider myself as ugly, but normally beautiful an still I could never live up to the ideals thrown around by the media or the want of man. It took me nearly 40 years to discover that we all love wrongly. Both men and women. And I also realised that we women, can help each other by speaking out that we have enough of a world full of beautism and curelty in that matter. <br />
<br />
I have written some articles on this theme and welcome you all to have a look. It is pretty stright forward and direct but it is the reality I have encountered in this loveless world of fascades. <br />
<br />
Thank you for sharing your honest story with us and hope that some of my articles might help you. <br />
<br />
Martina Pook<br />
<br />
Founder of

Never forget you are you and nobody upon this earth can ever copy you. I believe the biggest part of you is your heart. Are you a giving person. You are in need of the deepest love right now from yourself. I grew up with an alcoholic mom which also had daily negative thoughts I grew up believing negative-wise. I learned I was not to have any fun in life within myself. It was my job to give to serve my mom. Now that I am 48 I have learned lifes lessons & still learning. I love myself and now able to truly give love back to others. You could say I am re-living my childhood the positive one I missed out on all these years.<br />
Nobody can tell you what to do. The world can only give you stories of what they might have lived through to help you decide what will work for you. I have studied self help programs for the past 3 years. Praying for God's help, helped me also. The best program you can use to rid all of your previous life's miss beliefs is called the One Command. I use it daily and believe so strongly I am taking their Certification program to become a Practitioner. No, I am not trying to sell you anything here.<br />
The most important point for your changes that you are going to make for yourself have to do with how strong your hurt is right now. Is your present hurt, and pain so intense you will do whatever, within reason and safety wise to make these changes to move ahead. Three years ago I had to lose 15 pounds, since I am a type 1 Diabetic. I had dieted for my diabetes, since I was 10 years young. Growing up I never had a weight problem. I have lost 20 permanent pounds and am happy. You can do whatever you tell yourself positively that you can. I wish you the best of luck. If you have any questions please feel free to email me.<br />
<br />
Sincerely,<br />
<br />
Faith Fletcher

Hi Dear,<br />
Thanks for sharing such a sad story...I'm really sorry to hear that..but you need to realize that you are special like each one of us and nobody is without flaws...and most importantly, most of us do not care! You would be shocked to know that there are many guys who fall head over heals in love with "fat" or "slim" people. Most of the time it doesn't matter at all. I wish I can make you know that you are OK and love yourself.

i'm going to have the lap-band procedure...i'm tired ot yo-yoing... i went in for my consult today and found out that they also have financing available with payment that can be made for up to 60mos ....i figure what my payments are going to be, will off set what i would spend on food. i never get full so i just don't eat and then only 1 meal a day...but once i start eating i never stop and never get full...i'm 5.4 and weigh 180 my husband had an affair and told me i'd let myself go and he deserved BETTER than he cheated with a girl (37) our son is 32...yes she is skinny, but she is also a doper...she had to smoke dope before she could (do) a 53yr old man...gray hair everywhere and floppy *******...yep, i had to laugh when i found this out...(went through cell bills and found a number it was her x bf he told me) so i'm having lap-band surgery i know i'll feel better, i know what you mean about the aching hips, and omg my feet kill me all of the with the weight off i hope not to have pain in my i figure after i have surgery....we'll see who deserves better than who. but that is really the 2nd reason i want the surgery...i want it to feel better.

After you have recovered from your surgery, you ought to let yourself go. Go to the Bahamas, go to where ever you want to go. Men who cheat use a woman gaining weight as an excuse. They cheat because they are cheaters. When I was skinny, I was married for 6 months when my husband cheated and got the other woman pregnant. I divorced him. Don't blame yourself for your husband being a dirt bag. He is who he is.Good luck with your surgery and good for you.

I am going to have lap band too. I am a big girl, and have been for a long time. I wasn't always big, and though I don't aim to be skinny, a healthy weight would be really awesome. I know it would make me feel better about my body.

I am 5ft 2 and I am also morbidly obese. I weigh 129 kilos, Im not sure what that is in pounds though, I have never been very good at conversions LOL . I know exactly what you are going through because i live it everyday. Society judges anyone that is different, and it takes great courage and strength to walk out that door and face life. I have a husband that is loving and supportive and 2 great kids. But having said that even with support, it is still hard being large and having to deal with judgements , stares , and ridicule. I refuse though to let people stop me from living my life.Just because I am fat, doesnt mean that i dont deserve to get out there,live my life and do the things I need to do for myself and my family. I have osteoarthritis in both my knees, so I understand when you talk about pain. Just know this , you are a worthwhile person and you deserve to be happy and loved no matter what your size is. Dont let society dictate how you feel about yourself. There will always be negitive, hateful people in this world and you cant let them beat you, hang in there and do something nice for yourself everyday. Remember you are worthwhile :D

I found a website that offers Free One-on-One Coaching along with their program, and that really helped me. Being with someone through every step ensuring me that I am doing things correctly and that the weight will come off. Being over weight causes so many other health problems, that all go away along with the fat. It's all natural products too which is another plus for me. the site is in case you want to check it out.

I have struggled with my weight for what seems like forever. It changes periodically, but mostly just stays about the same. I can lose weight fairly easily, but never keep it off. Too many moods, outside influences and no willpower seems to be keeping me at a standstill. But then, last month, just after Christmas, an idea came to me. If I can stand the pain of being made fun of, of everything hurting all the time and of wishing it was different, then why can't I stand the discipline of making it better? Think of it as discipline more than willpower. If you can stand your back hurting because you're on your computer, then why can't you stand to be hungry for another hour or why can't you stand to eat some veggies instead of a cupcake? Simple enough, it seems to be working. I have been on the treadmill every day, I am avoiding the bad foods, and eating on a regular basis,( instead of waiting until I'm starving and eating everything in sight.) I am drinking water and cut out soda and most of all I have some belief for the first time in ages that I can get healthy again. The hardest part of being fat is thinking you're worthless or bad because you don't look like the covergirls, but girl, the truth is, you are a caring, loving, sensitive girl, and that's worth SO much more. Believe in YOU, stop looking at all the perfect bodies and just take ONE MOMENT AT A TIME. There are lots of us that understand and you will never be alone.....

Hello Dear Lady,<br />
I too know the pain of being the biggest. The way people look only at the fat and not the person. You are not alone in this. There are many things a non big person just does not get. Do continue to seek better health and weigh loss. We are more than the fat we are wrapped in.

Hey girl, <br />
<br />
Don't say such things about yourself. You are made beautiful! Yes, you may have weighty problems but don't let this issue be the only thing about your life. You have a lot of things to be thankful for... your man, your children, your family, friends... :)<br />
<br />
Appreciate yourself a bit more. You are much more than an elephant. <br />
<br />
Let's create great memories for 2010, kay? There are people out there who love you for being you.

Thanks for sharing this with us. I'm sorry to hear that you were made to feel inadequate and different as a child. No one deserves that.

I can relate to how you feel. It is amazing to me how people treat me now that I weigh 265lbs. I am the same person, I just have more weight to carry around. I am still smart, but people think that my brain got fat, because my opinion no longer matters. I still have the same caring heart and spirit that I have always had. People who care about me, treat me the same. Strangers can be cruel. Surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and not what you look like. I am so sorry that people have been cruel to you. Remember that you are a worthy person in this life no matter what you look like. You seem to be a really nice person, so give yourself some credit and go on with your life. I wish you happiness, because you deserve it. We all do.