Always A Daydream Away....

Hey girl,

Don't say such things about yourself. You are made beautiful! Yes, you may have weighty problems but don't let this issue be the only thing about your life. You have a lot of things to be thankful for... your man, your children, your family, friends... :)

Appreciate yourself a bit more. You are much more than an elephant.

Let's create great memories for 2010, kay? There are people out there who love you for being you.

I have struggled with my weight for what seems like forever. It changes periodically, but mostly just stays about the same. I can lose weight fairly easily, but never keep it off. Too many moods, outside influences and no willpower seems to be keeping me at a standstill. But then, last month, just after Christmas, an idea came to me. If I can stand the pain of being made fun of, of everything hurting all the time and of wishing it was different, then why can't I stand the discipline of making it better? Think of it as discipline more than willpower. If you can stand your back hurting because you're on your computer, then why can't you stand to be hungry for another hour or why can't you stand to eat some veggies instead of a cupcake? Simple enough, it seems to be working. I have been on the treadmill every day, I am avoiding the bad foods, and eating on a regular basis,( instead of waiting until I'm starving and eating everything in sight.) I am drinking water and cut out soda and most of all I have some belief for the first time in ages that I can get healthy again. The hardest part of being fat is thinking you're worthless or bad because you don't look like the covergirls, but girl, the truth is, you are a caring, loving, sensitive girl, and that's worth SO much more. Believe in YOU, stop looking at all the perfect bodies and just take ONE MOMENT AT A TIME. There are lots of us that understand and you will never be alone.....

i'm going to have the lap-band procedure...i'm tired ot yo-yoing... i went in for my consult today and found out that they also have financing available with payment that can be made for up to 60mos ....i figure what my payments are going to be, will off set what i would spend on food. i never get full so i just don't eat and then only 1 meal a day...but once i start eating i never stop and never get full...i'm 5.4 and weigh 180 my husband had an affair and told me i'd let myself go and he deserved BETTER than ME...so he cheated with a girl (37) our son is 32...yes she is skinny, but she is also a doper...she had to smoke dope before she could (do) a 53yr old man...gray hair everywhere and floppy *******...yep, i had to laugh when i found this out...(went through cell bills and found a number it was her x bf he told me) so i'm having lap-band surgery i know i'll feel better, i know what you mean about the aching hips, and omg my feet kill me all of the time...so with the weight off i hope not to have pain in my feet...so i figure after i have surgery....we'll see who deserves better than who. but that is really the 2nd reason i want the surgery...i want it to feel better.

Never forget you are you and nobody upon this earth can ever copy you. I believe the biggest part of you is your heart. Are you a giving person. You are in need of the deepest love right now from yourself. I grew up with an alcoholic mom which also had daily negative thoughts I grew up believing negative-wise. I learned I was not to have any fun in life within myself. It was my job to give to serve my mom. Now that I am 48 I have learned lifes lessons & still learning. I love myself and now able to truly give love back to others. You could say I am re-living my childhood the positive one I missed out on all these years.
Nobody can tell you what to do. The world can only give you stories of what they might have lived through to help you decide what will work for you. I have studied self help programs for the past 3 years. Praying for God's help, helped me also. The best program you can use to rid all of your previous life's miss beliefs is called the One Command. I use it daily and believe so strongly I am taking their Certification program to become a Practitioner. No, I am not trying to sell you anything here.
The most important point for your changes that you are going to make for yourself have to do with how strong your hurt is right now. Is your present hurt, and pain so intense you will do whatever, within reason and safety wise to make these changes to move ahead. Three years ago I had to lose 15 pounds, since I am a type 1 Diabetic. I had dieted for my diabetes, since I was 10 years young. Growing up I never had a weight problem. I have lost 20 permanent pounds and am happy. You can do whatever you tell yourself positively that you can. I wish you the best of luck. If you have any questions please feel free to email me.

Sincerely,

Faith Fletcher

http://www.oa.org/

This is a link to Overeater's Anonymous. It has changed my life. I promise you, it will change yours.

My girlfriend had many of the same childhood issues. She too was always the "fat one."
She has become a much more comfortable(for her) weight since we've been together. She didn't go on a "diet", she lost the weight because I helped her to empower herself and because I accidentally made her vegan by showing her the movie "earthlings". She still has some hurt and pain about the whole "fat" thing sometimes, but she just keeps working on feeling better and becoming more true to herself every day.

Squigglefish has a point about the acid/alkalizing thing. My girlfriend believes that is part of what helped her get to a more comfortable size. She was eating mostly raw foods when she was her slimmest and says it was the most awesome she has ever felt. Just something to consider.

For emotional fortification, may I suggest the book
"Fat!So?:Because You Don't Have to Apologize for Your Size."
http://www.amazon.com/FAT-SO-Because-Dont-Apologize/dp/0898159954/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
It changed my life. This book really helped me to feel better about myself, more comfortable about dealing with differences(not only weight based) and to get rid of some of these stupid societal expectations I had been unknowingly holding on to. It is a fat pride book, yes, but more than that it is a self acceptance anthem. I know that at this point in your life a "fat pride book" may sound a little ridiculous and stupid to you, but please, just check it out.

For all that are overweight or obese, keep this in mind. Soonner or later the lights go out and its no longer what you look like that matters. Question is are you happy with who is standing there then? It might make you feel a little better to lose some weight , but even that cant heal and change how you feel about yourself internally. So lets start with the inside. Keep motivational calendars nearby so that its the first thing you read in the morning. Keep it everywhere. Find something your good at , and spend a little time doing that so that you learn to feel pride within. You have to retrain the way you think of yourself. If you dont like who you are, others will key in on that and jump on the bandwagon. Why? Because, putting someone else down makes that person ignore their own downfalls and makes them feel powerful. Take that power back. No one has power over you except God. Find some groups, maybe at church, or the internet, not necessarilly of overweight people , but of new friends that will take the time to get to know you and be there to listen. YOU ARE NOT WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE. Seperate the two and work on being the person you want to be within. The rest will fall in place. When you start feeling better and liking who you are, you will have more energy, be more ambitious, want to do more and accomplish more, and all that will lead to mobility and happiness and reflect on your weight in turn. Dont let peoples snide remarks hurt you or have any power. Instead, take a moment to pity them. What kind of person breaks someone else down. AN UNHAPPY ONE. A happy one will be greatful that you are in their life and build you up. Reject the unhappy and accept some new happy people in you life. Love to all of you.

Surely there are days when you've been happy? Why don't you focus on these. On the great times you've enjoyed yourself. There is more to life than weight? You're worth a lot more than your weight. Look at all those people who love you despite the weight. Your kid and husband of whom you are an important part of their lives. Get up and work off the weight one day at a time while appreciating the good things that life has given you. Create more pleasant memories.

Hi Daydream. I think that eating is eating is only a symptom of the real problem. Eating has become a way of handling, or rather not handling, your emotions. So many people have bariatric surgeries and lose the weight only to gain it back. Why? Because once the rush of losing weight fades, they are still left with not knowing how to handle their emotions, so they return to their old coping mechanism once again.

Binge eating and compulsive overeating are eating disorders and should be treated as such. Go to counseling and put your demons to rest so that you can be free and learn to love and accept yourself. Go to a nutritionist so that you can get a good foundation for healthy eating.

If movement is painful for you, you can try water aerobics. That is much gentler on your body.

Stop thnking yourself as fat or obese. I was an overweight child and so was by brother. When I started to learn portion control and lost the weight, my mother did everything she could to make me fat again. I have a 30inch waist and I am a 36D bra size. I weigh approximatly 32 pounds and I am only 5'4". I still see me as a fat person. Incidentally, starvation diets backfire. You body goes into a starvation mode, that slows down your metabolism to hold on to what you have. You need someone to boost your self-esteem. If not you need to find it within yourself. I met a woman who was over 800 lbsl. when I was in the hospital. She could not lie down, because the weight on her chest would kill her. Try to get outside as much as possible. Do not try fad diets.
I would also ask myself if I want to be that way. What is past is past. Don't curl up with yesterdays problems to give you an excuse. Don't you want to be in life? Is depresssion the cause of over-eating? I really feel for you. When I had a 27inch waist my x-husband told me does it not trouble you to look the way you do. I believe the people that were around me had been the problem. I do know the pain you are going through.

Don't forget who you are. Don't think about your weight all the time. That will only make you think of food. I went through my life with everyone calling me "thunder thighs". I do know what it is like to go to a department store for cloths and only buying shoes and a new handbag because they were the only things that fit. Now I am 131lbs. and I am your height. Postpone eating by doing other things. Try to find happiness from within, and you will lose weight naturally. Yo-yo dieting does not work, starvation diets make it harder to lose weight, because your body goes into a starvation mode at won't burn calories, as if you were eating. I have met a wonderful woman in a hospital. She weighed 800 lbs. She was hospitalized because she could not lie down flat, the weight of her chest would crush her. She would have been overjoyed to be your size. Don't miss out on life, because you are afraid tobe seen, I have done that. Have more confidence in who you are, not what you eat.

Dear LargerThanLife78,

Thanks for sharing your story with us, and no, I don't think that you should think negatively about yourself, because those awful things that your saying about yourself, I don't see them as being true facts. Get rid of your negative thoughts because nobody on God's Earth is perfect.

I had a 4-year-old student that came from a famous religious school. People there, including the teachers told she and her parents that there was something wrong with her. They called her parents on a daily basis to disclose negative information all the time about her attacking their students or labeled her as being an MR (mentally retarded). This girl actually walked with an Egore limp with a slight hunch.

The first day she came to our school she attacked at least 1 person. The parents immediately became afraid of her. I had a discussion with hr about attacking our student and made her apologize. For a couple of weeks I watched her. I told her that she understood me very well and I asked her why she was walking with a limp. I told her to stop dragging her feet. In fact, I would talk common sense to her all of the time. She eventually started walking normal and her attacks basically stopped. She basically responded like a normal child. She basically became what they wanted because of perhaps the attention she wanted. She became one of my honor roll students. Her parents told me that she wanted to be in group 1. I can also say that her parents rarely ever got a phone call from us. I taught her how to read, do addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, fractions, and percentages. She tested high at the other schools. Usually my 5 and 6 year olds test out to 1st and 2nd grade level.

The thing is who those people deemed her to be, her character, they were totally wrong. She became who they said she was, but that wasn't her at all. She just needed someone to tell her that. She's a wonderful and outstanding girl. She even did a performance and got an ovation from the audience. There is nothing this girl will not be able to do. She's very outgoing. She's a people person.

Like she needed someone to tell her that, I need to tell you. Don't be what people say that you are; be who you are and don't let people tell you otherwise. Besides, what do you care about what they think? Only care about what you think of yourself. All you need is Christian values and you can't go wrong.

Take brisk walks. Carry some weights and work your arms while walking. When or if able walk up and down stairs. It burns alot of calories. I believe as much as running in place. And by the way, you burn more FAT calories when you run in place. Also, the heavier you are the more calories you can burn per minute. A good family activity is to bike ride. It also delays your ability to be postmenopausal. Eat like Chinese foods and Chinese like foods with bits of meats lots of rice, etc. . Eat vegetable stews. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables.

I can actually help you. I need to help alot of people, so perhaps I'll put something together later. You can always reach me at sharvt@hotmail.com...

God Bless

I do understand what you are going thru...I am 61 yrs old and in 2003, I only weighed in at about 155. I was happily married and we bought a house. I made the decision that I was going to hang some drapes and I fell off the ladder, only about 3 ft but I shattered my left knee cap and I fractured my left femur in a spiral break. I was bed bound for almost 7 months. When I was finally recovered enough to start walking again, although with crutches, then a walker, then a quad cane, then a regular cane. I was well over 240 pounds and I have been fighting the weight but today I weigh about 264. I have been under a dietitian and as well in a doctor's care, but the problem is that because I am a diabetic and I have osteoarthritis as well as osteoporosis, my aches and pains have kept me mostly sedentary so the weight is an ever present enemy.
Perhaps this will give you some hope as I see it as a positive thing.
My doctor has put me on a calcium and vitamin D protocol. and I have actually gained an inch in height. I have been seeing a PT for the pain and my pain management doctor has been giving me cortisone shots as well as pain meds so that I am not in as much pain anymore and I can move around better. I have decided to have bariatric surgery, and am now going thru the program to be a patient. My doctor tells me that I will lose about half of my weight in the year following the surgery.
What that tells me is that in a year or so I will lose about 130 pounds and I will probably be dealing with other problems but at least I won't be fat.
You are too young and probably too pretty to be so fat and it will probably take a drastic measure for you to become a thinner person but you will have to do it and you are the only one you should do it for. The quality of your life is very sad and you know I am telling you the truth. You are a child of The Most High and you deserve to be happy. Talk to God, if you don't have one, then talk to mine. Then be silent and just listen. He will show you a way and lead you to the people you need in your life, to help you in your life, as He has done mine. That is what I did and that is all I did. I am a Faith Christian, and while you may think that this is not about religion, I agree. I am not a religious person, but I have a God that wants me to be happy and my flesh wants me to be miserable. I prefer to listen to God. I did not get fat overnight and I know I won't get thinner overnight either but I needed help and I finally decided to ask God to lead me to it.
Yes, I do still find it hard not to eat a whole pizza or pecan pie by myself but with the help of the bariatric surgery I won't be able to eat it anymore and I will lose the extra weight.
I realize that many people will want to give me advice, please keep it,as I am not interested in anyone else's opinion except my own, and I have plenty of advice of my own left over to give to any one else that needs it, lol..

I love you! You're not alone and you can do all thing through Christ who strengthens you. One day I will be a doctor and I only pray that I can help change the lives of people just like you. You are beautiful and you are worth it. <3 Miranda

hey.
your story is truly inspiring. i hope that through your experinces you learned that unless you take pride in yourself no one else will. who cares what other people think? the only thing that is important is how you feel about yourself, and if your not happy with yourself than make a change. and just because you are not in the most comfortable place with yourself right now it is still no excuse for you to let others opinion get to you. i used to care about my family's and friends opinion about my life, weight, and in general everything. now i dont give a **** about that anymore, and to be honest i feel like i am in a really good place in my life. of course there is still areas in my life that i want to improve in, but i work hard to make myself happy and not others. it might seem selfish, but its not, its all about having confidence in yourself.