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Always A Daydream Away....

 I have always been the largest person in the room. I am the biggest person in my family, in my church, at my job..walking down a street. Sometimes I find myself looking for over weight people in the crowd..just in hopes that I may find someone bigger then me. It never happens though. I am always the "elephant in the room".

As a child I was the same size as the rest of my sisters, we often shared clothes due to there being 5 children of close age...but despite our identical sizes, just because I had chubby cheeks I was sought out as the fat kid in our family. I had to eat less then the others, I had to exercise longer then the others...and I was ridiculed by parent's and siblings as well as "measured" often and given special "promises and deals" for inch's and pounds loss. I spent so much time being told I was the fat one that I never even realized I was the same size as my siblings until years later when I had been looking at old photo's..burned in my brain for so long I never realized there was a time in my youth that I wasn't over weight at all.

I became ashamed of myself and hid from the world most of my childhood. This seemed the perfect excuse to terrorize me and thats just what my siblings and their friends did until one day, when I just stopped leaving my room altogether....I became larger and larger. When I turned 16yrs old I got my first job, I was very depressed and considered taking my own life many times. One day I just decided I was tired of being me and I began starving myself. I went from a size 22 to a size 12 in 7 months..I began my first sexual relationship when I was a few weeks off of turning 18yrs old...on my 18th birthday I found out I was pregnant.

I was stupid, I still viewed myself as fat and ugly..worth less then a "normal" person. I thought just because this guy was willing to look past my flaws that he must love me. And even though I swore I would never let him touch me without protection, what I thought was his vows of love quickly changed my mind. He dumped me as soon as he found out I was pregnant.

I gained alot of weight back during my pregnancy. After I had my first daughter I went right back to starving myself and dropped some of the weight quickly. When my daughter was 4 months old I met the man I am with now..we have been together for 12yrs. I got pregnant again, but lost the baby..soon after I was with child once more and considered a high risk pregnancy..I gained all the weight back. Later I began having heart problems that went misdiagnosed for 4yrs. The heart problems left me weak and afraid to do weight kept increasing...after some medical problems I stopped working for 4yrs, I have only just recently started back to work as a sales associate.

I am the largest I have ever been in my life...I am only 5'3 and I weigh over 360 pounds. I am unhappy and body is breaking down and everything I do causes one pain or another. Even sitting here at the computer makes my back ache, my hips hurt and my feet swell.

I need some friends that understand what I am going through..that I can talk to about the embarrassing things that happen to over weight people..I can honestly say I don't know anyone personally who is as big as I am.



largerthanlife78 largerthanlife78 36-40, F 66 Responses Jan 12, 2010

Your Response


as long as you could breathe you can make a change we can make

Now you know someone bigger ;)

Don't put yourself down. You have value that goes beyond a number.

Hi I'd like to help u lose weight?

I hope you can get pass this horrible situation. Please don't give up.

Your a wonderful person. I completely understand how you feel. Our stories are very similar. I too am always the biggest one in the room. I too had parents who would try and bribe me to lose weight and made me feel I was huge even though I was only about15 pounds overweight. It really stuck with me and has made me the person I am today. I really feel they thought they were doing good by their actions, but actually did my mind harm. At least I learned by it and won't do that to my son. As an adult in my 40's I still plan on losing the weight so I can be healthy. So far it hasn't happened. I think about my weight constantly whether I want to or not. My body is in pain all the time and I'm having a hard time walking due to my weight. I pray everyday I'm gonna get my mind set and accomplish the goal I have to lose the weight. I hold your hand,and understand what your going thru. Please hang in there. I will try too. We can do it. I'm gonna try one day at a time. I don't want to die. I can't bare the thought of leaving my son behind. He's my angel. Hopefully I helped you. ;

320+ lbs checking in here. I have to get back to the point where I was taking long walks in the park. You are not alone

I'm 33 years old, 5'3" and last time I weighed in I was close to 340lbs. I've gained since then, but not sure how much. You're not alone.

I'm 31 years old and at 5'6", I weigh in at 368lbs. Trust me when I say I feel your pain fully!

Hi Iam bigger than you! I fully understand your pain at 29 i feel like 59 years old. I have been all my life my biggest is now and it sucks!! I wanna do so much but I can't cause I am fat!! Life will change soon

Hi my name is Jennifer in
just wanted to say it's not what is on the outside that matters. Your are a lovely person and if u ever need to talk until can talk to me

Message me. I'm obese too. Very obese. Nobody understands us. We have feelings too. My husband left me saying it was because I was fat. I was smaller while I was married than I was when we were dating.

Hi I'd like to help u when willu be online

I understand. I'm 5'1 and weigh 302. I've never told anyone how much I weigh before. It's more than my husband. And I'm always the fattest person everywhere. I've lost a few friends because of my addiction to food. Now my daughter is overweight and it's my fault. She's only 12.

She's only 12, that's right, 6 more years before she start stuffing herself outside your reach. Act noaw.

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I felt your pain leaping off my screen. I am so sorry. I wish to hug you. Losing weight is very hard...very hard. I honestly think that if you want it bad enough you will do it. You have proven to be able to do it before. I wish you the best of luck.

we that are heavy are not happy and we don't feel well,we see thepredjiduce in peopl's eye's,they act as if it will rub off on them!we don't want to be this way and it's not about food it's about lack of self's about stress and family and teacher's many yrs.ago who treated me like a freak and the self loath continues.we all have a cross to carry and this is mine.and no i don't sit and eat at 62 have to work and work hard,as i was not hired on at a better job over the yrs.due to being queen day drs.will find it was not our fault,maybe a missing gene.hang in there.

?!?! Are you me? <br />
<br />
I had two younger brothers.. I hit a growth spurt early and at 11 was 5'3 and 120 lbs.. and told I was HUGE for an 11 yr old.. always thought I was SO FAT.. Always given salad when my brothers were served fried chicken.. It is only now, looking back at the pictures that I see I was "normal sized" until after university.. Good heavens.. I would have answered without hesitation when anyone asked if I had always been fat with a YES.. but apparently.. I was NOT always fat. Weird. I am now though, and nothing I do can shake the weight. I can job 1 km. I can play football and soccer. My fat belly flaps when I run, but it cant be helped. I am 280lbs and 5 '4 and can bench press 110lbs and leg press about 600. I go to the gym, I believe I eat healthfully.... I had a lot of trouble carrying boy babies but I did give birth to three beautiful girl babies :) You have given me much to think about. Thank you.

I have to say your story is somewhat familiar as mine. It hurst, i know how you feel/felt. I am sorry and hope all is better but i know as in my life that is likely wishfull thinking. I tto thought about suicide and am embarressed just walking down the street. I feel worthless because of the way people treat me and hope you are not treated this way now.

i read your story and was immediatley able to relate. i too was always considered the fat one of my family. always put on diets, exercise regimes. i had to eat different from everybody else. i was always being weighed and measured. i was always told i was too fat, too big , too hungry. i was told it was my fault because i was lazy, and i didnt exercise ( which i did on my own). till this day. a year ago i weighed 170, now i weigh 215 and getting bigger. the bigger i get, the worse they make me feel. the worse they make me feel, the harder it is.

i thank you for your story , it touched me , you see i have un older brother, thats very overweight, he is oh so shy and only leaves the house maybey once a year. i love him but not sure what i can do for him.i know he is hurting inside. i try to talk to him , but he say i can never understand how he feels.and i have too admit he's right, i only see his pain on the outside not what he feels inside, he's 55 and in some ways so child like. he does not understand why people dont like him.. i got him a computer so he could talk to others, but hes to shy to make first move

Your post caught my eye when you said "the largest person in the room"- I just wrote a book called The Fattest Guy In The Room about growing up overweight... It felt good to share my stories of struggle and not being accepted. Best of luck- Big Mike Sangiamo<br />
<br />

If you want to lose your weight, you can. Don't make things complicated for yourself, keep them simple. White bread, pasta, potatoes - cut these things out, as they are basically sugar. Slowly, over several weeks reduce all your consumption of processed foods. Change the way you eat forever and eat naturally, chew slower and for longer, smell your food a lot and drink water instead of snacking at times. Exercise as much as possible, get your heart going just enough at this point that it's muscle will start to get stronger. I have lost weight this way and you will too. Remember: Sugar, Vegetable Fat, Hydrogenated Fats (all Lipids), Pasta, Rice, Bread,Potatoes - these are all your enemy right now, as well as fruit juices with added sugar, cola etc. When you eat a meal conataining too much sugar (say,even in the form of pasta, even raisins,chocolate,anything that is a big glob of glucose), your liver stores the extra sugar as fat cells in the nearest place to it - around itself. By eating meals that contain less fat and sugar it will cease to perform this action and your body cxan go right ahead and turn that natural healthy food you're eating into energy for your get up and go. It may be difficult adjusting your insulin to less sugar and salt if you are eating a lot so do it slowly yet surely and keep a mind as to what you are eating. You may find that you have been poisoning yourself with the wrong foods. You don't have to keep doing this. Get involved in something that doesn't include food and to take your mind away from snacking. <br />
This will work for you and improve your health. Keep it simple - Look after yourself!<br />
All the best

One thing I did not know about yo-yo dieting is that it is very hard on your gall-blatter.<br />
<br />
I recently had to have mine removed and I never eat fried, greasy or spicy food. But I have been<br />
a victim of dieting this way. Always looking for a quick fix.<br />
<br />
I hate it when people less and exercise more. Right.<br />
<br />
Any exercise tapes for old women with two knee replacements? NO.<br />
<br />
But I have found that with Weight Watchers Online and a trampoline (small) I can eat less and exercise more. <br />
<br />
BUT never lose more than 2 lbs a week.<br />
<br />
My dad is 91, and can't walk. So I have good genes for long live, I better take the excess weight off or I will be sitting watching TV and peeing in diapers....<br />
<br />
Try even 1 lb a week.. But do it for your health, not looks or what people think. YOU will be the<br />
elderly person with too much weight...and it is harder as you get older (I am 60).<br />
<br />
Funny story, my grandmother said I don't know why people think slim fast works. I bought a can of the powerd and drand the entire can up in two days. (That is about 5000 calories per day).<br />
<br />
LOL I don't think that was the entent of the product. I asked her if she drank water...No was her reply, water rusts your pipes! But when she went into a nursing home that fed her differently and got her moving and she lost 75 lbs.<br />
<br />
Don't be down on your self. You are not alone and losing weight is as hard as stopping smoking or drinking problems... There are groups that can help you and you should join and find the key to YOUR success! Then let us know what it was!!!<br />
<br />
Prays to you - Sincerely

Girl I am over weight like you. And you are not inadequate. If you ever need someone to chat with you can come to me.

Thanks. I usually cringe when i communicate with large people. I am between 300 and 320pounds. I am not used to the pound system . I felt ok reading your story. Kinda wish you lived in Montreal so I could meet you in person. Don't know how this communication things works. Wouldn't mind having emails exchanged wit you if you want.<br />
<br />
Cheers<br />

Anyone, and I do mean anyone who want to lose weight can do so, forget all about the blame game, the guilt trips, the drama and the crap people put you through when you are overweight. All you need to do is educate yourself on eliminating the poison from your diet that the American Food industry is shoveling down our throats. Watch this clip, it will change your life if you are willing to change the types of food you eat. Its hard and if you aren't willing to permanently give up some of your favorites foods, you don't stand a snowballs chance in hell of losing weight and keeping it off and living with the diet choices you have made. Anyhow here is the clip, watch it, apply it, it can change your life forever...

Listen, everyone. I have been through the ups and down of weight loss and gain. Its all about a lifestyle change, not dieting. All these shots and pills and crash diets only make our situations worse. I have been blessed by a neighbor who approached me with the Body by Vi 90 day challenge. Before the skeptics jump in, I've just finished my new video. . Take a look is all I ask. I have lost 15 pounds in the past 4 weeks. The first three days were not easy but it has changed my life and the way I look at food, spending money, and my energy level has gone through the roof. I wish yu well and remember you can change victory loves preparation.

Hi. Your story sounds a lot like mine. I ALWAYS look for people who are bigger then me, but it never happens. I"m the biggest person in every room. I am 5'6 and weight 350. I can not believe this is my life. I do not like to even go out of the house. My body is starting to fail me, and I am scared.

i was always critisized as a child for being 'fat,' too... i didn't actually become overweight until i entered middle school. i am the largest person in my family, the largest of all my friends (not that i have many), & i was the largest person in my last job. i worked in an office full of women that ranged in size 1-6. and i know this for a fact, because for awhie i washed the scrubs for extra money. on my 2nd day there, i used the bathroom,& snapped the toilet seat in half when i tried to wipe. i'm sorry for all the hurtful things people have said/ done to you.

I totally can relate to your situation I have been large most of my life and I had yo yo dieted many times for me just to gain back the weight plus more so now im weighing in at 455lbs from 220lbs and i do get looked at alot as well as degative comments about how big i am so now im very confident about my weight and i do enjoy good foods and im not worried anymore about how large I am im just me and I enjoy things as if i were smaller.