I Have Had To Be As We Were Poor

I never had much money to look a pretty girl in the first place and men don't do enough to impress much on me as being a prince of my dreams and until they do I don't bother....

As I have been sexually abused all my life I have learnt to dress less girl like to avoid mens lecherousness and pawing at my body at will have some have over take the liberty and over familiarity with me too much and the next guy will cop a law suit on them, as it is the rapist should be hung in Thailand and the navy made accountable for their mens violence on virgins.

the other thing is I find too many women are so bitchhy and rude to fit in with - I find it hard to identify with my feminine side because I have been the victim of too many abusive violent women also... and I am sick of dogs on my back

it would be nice to meet a mr wonderful and have some nice female friends in my real life other than on EP..

I just have trouble trusting any woman anymore and its been that way for years since I was a child in fact. and I have trouble trusting men also...

it has affected my self worth and how I see myself

I often don't bother to wear pretty clothes now since the rape and I rarely wear a skirt as since my uncle ron poacher shoved things up my dress at parties and down my bra at my sisters wedding and pawed over me drunk ... and my great uncle molesting me since I was 4 or 5 I feel a victim and I want a man in my life who will value my body as a man should... 

since meeting Joyce Poorter who has been screwing in my head with Bugsy for the last 30 or more years those dutch people have ruined my life deliberately out of jealousy.... it must be hard being old and I guess those arseholes needed to take it out on a pretty young virgin ... its not my fault she was jealous of me back in 1978 and 79 and was enticing bugsy and other men to abuse me... mental spastic old ****!

and I don't think that wanting to be loved in a beautiful way  is being cowardly or self pitying or selfishly needing to be rescued for self gratification- as Joyce suggested to me- as if I should never want any love at all other than rape by a married grotesque man like ken carey hawkins or whatever he calls himself....and prostitution- there is nothing wrong with wanting  to have a man treat you right .. there is nothing wrong with a woman having a man to lean on in times of her emotional need especially if he is your boyfriend or husband - that is what he is there for... and I think I should have every right as the next young or mature aged woman to have a a man honor my body and virtue and I don't think that that ought to be left up to anyone else to decide least of all Joyce Poorter!!!!
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
Oct 7, 2011