My Marriage Is Now Over

Well my marriage is over --- it ended last night. I swear you never know what a day will hold do you? I basically found a picture of my husband and an old girlfriend dated 12/01/07 at a Bucs Football Game. He lied to me and told me he was taking his step father to that game. I found it through my husbands myspace page. I had a feeling I needed to look at "her" page for some reason. I had the strongest feeling that I needed to look last night.  I can't even explain it.  Well her profile was blocked and private unless you are a "Friend" with her. I knew she was a friend on my husbands myspace page and we have had arguements about her and he has always said he dated her in high school and that they were nothing more than friends. He said on many occasions that he hardly ever even talked to her that occasionally they would email or something just to keep in touch. My husband BOLD FACED lied to me about the game. I logged on as my husband and went to this persons  page and RIGHT THERE on a picture album scrolling right across the page was a picture of MY husband with her in the front seat of a car with their heads all together sideways like a couple! He was in the driver seat she was next to him the photo was taken with her cell phone. I confronted him about it last night it was VERY ugly. I had to wait until 11 p.m. to even get to talk to him. As soon as I saw the picture though I took a picture of IT with MY cell phone and sent it to him. I can ONLY imagine him in training in Houston and getting that picture on HIS cell phone. My marriage is over he told me last night he has no desire for me and never will. We obviously have had problems with intimacy and things for YEARS so this is just the thing that I guess I needed to make me realize it is over - that I deserve more. I am devasted and hurt to the core. I told him that even IF they were just friends (which of course that isn't the case) but EVEN if say that were true the way he lied to me and deceived me was horrific. I mean this man even came back from THAT game and went on and on about how great it was and how his step father (who is older) got SO HOT because of the heat but that he had just a great time. He was SOOOO happy that my husband took him to the game, they had a WONDERFUL time. BLAH BLAH BLAH What makes a person not only lie like that but make up an entire story that detailed? I mean he could have just come home and said oh yeah the game was great and left it at that. Also, he doesn't ever see his stepfather or mother they have a kind of strained relationship. I never talk to them so it was the PERFECT game for him to lie to me about it because he knew I would never have found out any different than what he told me. I feel like a fool and a total idiot. He wants to still be FRIENDS with me because he says I am his BEST FRIEND he thinks I need to be open to having a friendship. Sooo I guess that I don't need to be worried about lack of sex now huh? This is the worst thing his lying and going behind my back. I am now thinking all this time what else has he done? I am hurting but I will make it day by day. He is coming home Friday - I don't know if I should pick him up from the airport or not. He said that he was numb to everything at this point with us and he knew no other way than for us to part ways - which I agree. We will still have to get finances/living arrangements squared away. I am sure he will get his things and go to his sisters to stay. Sooo that is that.
tink365 tink365
36-40, F
5 Responses Feb 26, 2008

Im sorry to hear that..I would tell him to let his *girlfriend* pick him up at the airport!! I would not do it. Its hard going through this because I have done it..and its scary too, but you will see, you are stronger than you realise. I believe the reason he was so detailed about he story was he felt guilty and he was afraid you might find out, so he really tried to make it believable. I wish you the best of luck my friend..keep your head up and be strong!!! you deserve better!

Just catching up with my mail. <br />
<br />
What a jerk. Keep in touch. We are here for you. I'm just so sorry but glad to hear you take back your power. <br />
<br />
It is hard, but WORTH it!!

Oh trust me he won't get away with them I am so full of rage and when he gets home he will see it all in all its glory. I am trying to figure out what I am mourning over. I can't be mourning the physical relationship because there never really was one. So I have realized it is more the companionship and friendship that is making me so sad. I also am so pissed off at him for lying and being so deceitful. I am glad it happened though because the dynamics of everything have now changed. I have something PROOF so that helps me at least know that it really wasn't ever me and that he has serious issues. I am taking it day by day but it is very difficult. I want to be friends with him but right now I am too hurt to do that. I guess time will tell.

if you want the marriage to be over - don't pick him up at the airport - don't give any mixed signals right now - stay true to your feelings and not his words. It will be hard, but i think you have the strength and courage to get through it. Good luck.

Hiya Sweety...<br />
You know you have friends here if you need to talk or need a shoulder to cry on...<br />
<br />
Hugssssssssss....<br />
<br />
Your better than that