Fears

I'm scared I won't find anyone to marry. I'm scared that I won't find anyone who lives up to my standards. I have never drank, smoked, and never plan to. I don't do drugs. I don't party. I don't hook up with people. I don't wear clothes without sleeves. I don't date. However, I also don't pray 5 times a day (though I'd like to change that). I don't wear a hijab. I haven't read the Quran with translation (have been working on this for 5 years, but I suck at keeping up with it). I want to be with someone who makes me a better Muslim. Someone who doesn't drink, smoke, and doesn't have an excessive history of hooking up with girls. However, I don't want to be with someone who is super crazy Islamic to the point where I have nothing in common with them. I want someone who is on the better end of the moderate scale. I want someone who is good looking. I want a good Muslim man, but I have yet to meet one who doesn't dislike me for one reason or another.

I'm also scared that I won't find anyone who'd like me. My beautiful cousin who is the same age as me gets all the attention from every guy. We've had more than one instance where people who had started to like me meet her and fall in love with her looks and personality and replace me with her. It scares me that this pattern will continue with every potential man I meet. I'm scared that when I get married, it'll be like my parents' marriage. My parents don't love each other. My mom is only with my dad because she's uneducated and doesn't want to shame her family. He doesn't respect her. Some of the things he says and does disgust me more than anything. If I was in her spot, I would have left him years ago. My dad is an extremely educated man. But he has no empathy. He puts work before family. He abused me all throughout my childhood to the point where in high school, I decided that I didn't want a relationship with him anymore. He made me feel like dying on countless occasions. He thinks literally everyone is below him. I have yet to meet 1 person about whom my dad has nothing bad to say. Since my dad will be picking potential grooms, I'm scared that they'll all be like him. Since my childhood, I've been a hopeless romantic. I've dreamt of getting married, being whisked away from a dysfunctional family by a nice man who will treat me with love and respect. But in my almost 21 years of life, I have yet to become friends with 1 person who fits what I want in a man (that being said, I've only met 3 who fit my description, but 2 of them hate me for some unknown reason and 1 of them is in love with my cousin). I'm scared that I'll be trapped in a loveless abusive relationship and that my whole life will be worthless.

I'm scared of not getting into med school. I don't even want to be a doctor, but I don't have a choice. I have to take my MCAT in April and haven't began studying. If I don't get into med school, I'm scared of not getting into grad school. I failed a class for my major this year. I've never even gotten a C until I came to college, and now I have 2 Cs and 1 F. My gpa is super low. I'm scared of not having a future. I'm scared that my parents who tell everyone how proud they are of me will tell me I'm a disappointment. So I just shut down and watch rich people on TV and pretend my life is perfect, like theirs.

I'm scared of going to hell. I'm not that great of a Muslim at all, I barely even pray if I do at all. I'm disrespectful. I curse. I lie. I sometimes manipulate. I don't help my mom with anything. I talk trash about my dad because of what he put me through. I have never been a big sister to my little brother. I have done things that I'm ashamed of. I wish bad upon people who do better than me in anything. I'm putting myself in this position and I don't know how to stop.

I'm scared that I'll screw up and won't be able to futher my studies and end up being a disappointment to my parents. I'm scared that if I even get married, I'll be suckered into a failed, abusive, loveless marriage, I'm scared that I'll be the same kind of parents my dad was (a lot of my personality is exactly like him, after all). I'm scared that my brother will grow up to hate me. I'm scared that I won't make an impact on anyone's life for the better, and that I'll die and be forgotten. And I'm scared that I'll end up in hell because I'm not as great of a person as I give myself credit for.
ghayebgirl ghayebgirl
18-21
8 Responses Jan 6, 2013

It's ok to be scared. In life we face so many trials and challenges. You should try dealing with each of your fears individually. Firstly, make a big effort to start praying. This is your key to change. If you sincerely want to change, pray your salat. This will put peace in your heart. When you do so, ask Allah to guide you. Adj for help. Try this

I know how you feel I wrote a story about being scared of not getting married but sister your still young you have a very long time to think about it in the future worry about your studies they are important.Peace.

I want u to know that god never gives u a life a person cant handles. Have faith in allah he will give u the life u want. U made the first step by talking about it now u need to pray and take actions in ur life. And about ur love life i want u to go to youtube and get in matthew hussey's account and he is amazing about getting the love life that u want. For these 3 men. Leave them if they dont want why then u dont need them. And for the guy thats in love with ur cuzin maybe he is the guy for her. U might have to accept that. And dont look at the one thing shes good at try to find what ur better at than her. For example u might be a more caring, ambitious and inspiring person than her

Wow. So many fears. This is a long list of fears. But, I can tell you, this list has many things, of which, I myself am fearful of, too.
Look girl, there is no body in this world who does not have problems. Its a test which we as believers have to pass. Everybody has to give the exam paper of the Almighty. Ain't, nobody is going to flee away without it, in his / her life.
Consider it as a test and hope for good times. You cannot know all the problems of everybody and sometimes others do look lucky to you. It a matter of belief system which you have.

u'll find the right guy ^ ^ just pray I believe God will give u the best for u

al-baqarah 285,286.

Hi there, I'm not a Muslim so I don't believe in heaven or hell but if there is a God he wont send you to hell just because you don't pray everyday or because you lie sometimes.. I mean, nobody's perfect. You seem like a beautiful person and I'm sure you'll find someone who's right for you :)

I absolutely understand you. You are still young. You still have lots of time to meet that special someone. And for the record, the guy you choose to spend your life with will be very lucky to have you.