I Do Not Need Anyone To Complete Me

I joined this group a while back, because of a story that Womaninbliss wrote. Like her, I do not need anyone else to be complete.

There was a time when I always had to be in a relationship in fear of being alone. With each I entered the relationship hoping he was the one that would complete me. There was an emptiness inside of me that I thought someone else could fill. Though when someone would decide that they love me, I would run either emotionally and/or physically. I was afraid of it, yet I craved it. Still I would go from one man to another in hopes that that hole would be filled.

While I was single I intentionally spent a lot of time out of a relationship to fix myself and really figure out what I wanted in someone. At first doing things alone like sitting in a restaurant felt a bit uncomfortable, but I learned to enjoy it. Now that I am no longer alone, I crave those alone times where I can just sit alone in a restaurant reading a book.

I like myself and I am not afraid of being alone. Of course it's nice to have that special someone who knows my faults and all, yet loves me, but he or she does not complete me. I am complete all on my own.
RhombusInTheSquare RhombusInTheSquare
41-45, F
4 Responses Jan 7, 2013

You get it, at. Complement and complete are similar words ... but they are different words.

True and many fail to see the difference.

People need to complete themselves before they enter into relationships or at least try to and keep working at it. That is a lifetime task and changes as the person matures and grows as a person.. Couples can be AWESOME additions to each other and even feel like genuine parts of each other. I totally feel that way about hubs... but a solid personal foundation needs to be in place inside each person too. Folks who know who they are make the best partners... When somebody expects another person to "complete" them I think it puts a really unreasonable responsibility on the other person.....

I agree, yes it is an unreasonable responsibility to put on another, yet people do it all of the time. They think they need that soul-mate.....that one and only person that they are meant to be with that makes them complete. They don't realize that they need to be complete on their own and that they should be looking for that awesome person that complements them as a whole.

I sort of have issues with all those pop culture trendy phrases and words....Soul mate, unconditional love and all of it. They start out as fine things and solid concepts but end up as just another empty... overused trend with words. It's almost like certain behaviors are like shoes and skirt lengths....In and out of style for some... while others take it way too literally and actually shoot for some sort of left field exaggerated expectation without wanting to put the real effort into self that needs to back anything else up.... it can be very frustrating to watch too or read about...

I agree about the phrases, because I think that we all have limits of what we will accept from others. Those who don't become doormats. The only way that I can say that I would have unconditional love is for my children. I admittedly say that yes, I have conditions in relationships, because some behaviors are beyond acceptable with others.

I am very much like you.

I am happy for you. This is an important lesson many need to learn. I never feel complete in or out of a relationship. The hole never goes away, no love of self or by another can fill that emptiness. It is my own death waiting patiently for my life to collapse around and tumble into it. Only then will it be satisfied and the void filled.

I really hope you find a way to fill that void :(.