Lost The Love Of My Life Because I Am My Own Worst Enemy

I lost the man that was truly the one for me because I am selfish and self-destructive. I cheated on him as a way to try and deal with a minor incident where he hurt me, with my horrible loser ex boyfriend. He was the best thing that ever happened to me and now I have forced him out of my own life because I have no perception of what consequences are. It is impossible to deal with myself. I know how much I've hurt him and I know I can probably never get him back.