Truth And Consequences...There's someone I was only just starting to get to know. What we initially experienced from each other was intoxicating and sweet. I had found a person that made me breathless just by the way they expressed themselves to me. There was a growing connection that I knew was rare and privileged. The thought of that person brought an instant feeling of happiness...there was a hint of promise that there would be much to share in ways that I expected to be surprising and good.
But...my special friend was soon surprised and not in a good way. Not by me but about me. It wasn't anything that would have been kept a secret or spun favorably but I wasn't the one telling. Maybe it wouldn't have made a difference who told what when but...maybe it would have. At least the trust that I thought I was building wouldn't have been thrown into the fire...and without that trust there's nothing left. Just an empty space where warmth, joy and promise briefly lived. Now I feel like a buffoon that tripped over his shoes when life started shining on him. I am my own worst enemy.
Sorry isn't good enough. I know that and I now have to live with the memory of what briefly was and the broken dream of what could have been.