My Character Flaws Are the ...

My character flaws are the downfall of me.  My naivity lets people get the best of me.  I get hurt easily and let myself down.  I'm so afraid of failure that I sometimes don't even try.  That's why I set my standards and goals so low that I don't ever challenge myself.  I'm hopelessly needy and insecure.  I feel like I generally set myself up to fail.

theophania theophania
22-25, F
5 Responses May 13, 2007

I know very much how you feel. For a while now I have been obsessed with self improvement because I am not happy with myself as I am now. I've read so many books and articles but I have failed at implementing any of the strategies most of the time because I sabotage myself. I have so much fear of failure that sometimes I lack the motivation to even get out of my bed to go to the bathroom. In fact, yesterday I spent the entire day in bed second guessing myself (I am a college student on break so I can actually do that right now) and then distracting myself through some form of entertainment whenever I was close to doing anything that actually had meaning or purpose. Seriously, all that is on my agenda today is to buy Christmas presents for the people I care about but I just keep holding myself back from doing even that. Really! How ridiculous is it that I am so afraid of some invisible threat that I can't even go buy Christmas presents!!!! But I am sick and tired of this feeling and I think I have finally come up with a viable solution!

I can't do this alone any more. I have been so destroyed by my past failures that I can't do anything without second guessing myself. Thus, I need to borrow someone else's strength for a period of time. I need to be careful not to let them become my strength, but to just use their strength like a wall I will prop my self up on as I am trying to stand up after being knocked down so many times. I definitely cannot do this on my own anymore because I keep knocking myself down.

Now that I have a goal in mind I need to find the right someone to lean on for a bit. Actually, since all humans are fallible I shouldn't place all of my hope in one person, even if it is just for a short period of time. So I have decided to gather bits of strength from multiple people. I will look at my friends and family, find each of their strengths and then choose to lean on the ones who have strength where I have weakness. I also am seeing a therapist for help with my procrastination and possible ADD but I will also share this wish, what I have learned about my self, and the solution I have created with her.

I have realized that since I am my own worst enemy then the solution might come from me but the implementation must have help from places outside myself.
I hope that you don't mind that I have used this comment as a sort of self therapy. I know that for my ideas to form I need to talk or write them out. So thank you for being vulnerable first so that in my response to you I might help myself by organizing my thoughts.

Thank you!

ditto!

The statement that "your journey is your own" is what I am afraid of. I have been trying to figure out why everyone elses life seems more important than my own. I am in a group that suggests that we mind our own business and it is a sickness to put everyone else in front of my own life but I seem to always place other people above me and my own. I believe it is fear of failure because we truly are alone in our own personal journey. I cannot blame anyone else for my journey and the failures in my life and I don't like it that way. I have such a sense of low self esteem and I don't know exactly where that came from. My parents were truly wonderful and maybe the standards although not waved in front of me were sort of the invisible yard stick for my life. I know that living life as the older sibling to a brilliant younger sibling can be kinda rough but I don't fault that sibling at all and I never was put down by that sibling either. The people who truly love me and accept me do not try to keep me down either. I have been placed with some family people through marriage that appear to feel superior but much of that torment comes from my own fears and not particularly from them. I read into them my fear of non acceptance many times. I do admit that most of the time they are not concerned about me when I think it is about me. I accepted that a good while ago and have done much better by doing that.

I feel for you. It's a hard lesson to learn that you need to believe in yourself and realize that your journey is your own and putting faith in others is pure folly. There is no failure, only experience. Easier said than done for sure and I struggle with it everyday. good luck to you!

self destruction. we'd stop, but it might hurt someone's feelings. how dare we have the audacity to believe that we might be just as good as everyone else? <br />
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don't hide your light 'neath a bushel so another's can shine. if you do, you're no better than a thief or a liar - you're holding out on the rest of the world. that's about as selfish as anyone can be. <br />
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you're not naive and you're only letting yourself down. put yourself up on that pedistal! It's yours. We all have one.