I Cut Myself

I have many bruises and scars on my arm and wrists. I feel pleasure in feeling pain, seeing my blood draining. I am proud of my scars, I like to impress the people with them. Tried suicide many times and had many overdoses.
I destroy myself...
rikkbb rikkbb
26-30, M
1 Response Dec 4, 2012

My depression has taken a different turn. Because of my zero self esteem and feelings of being a worthless piece of $hit ... I haven't thought about cutting myself or injuring myself. My fantasy is to be punished and abused by other people. An extreme form of masochism I guess. What I really want is some people to knock me to the ground, hit me, beat me up. I want to be kicked and stomped on. I want people to taunt me and tell me how ugly, stupid, pathetic and worthless I am. I want to be kicked and beaten mercilessly to the point of bloody and broken bones. I feel I deserve to be punished for being the loser I am.

Well, it's a weird way to suffer...