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How I Am Accepting Past, Present, And Changing My Future.

There are several things that need to be done in order to gain acceptance. I am not talking about acceptance from others. I am not talking about acceptance from the public. I am talking about acceptance from yourself. This is the most important step in the process when dealing with a regrettable situation. I have had many in my life, and it has only been recently that I have been able to confront them. I've learned that honesty and being open about my problems have helped me begin the process of beating my demons.

Little tricks to help you move forward are as simple as the words you use. Do not distance yourself from what you have done. I used to say, "the night of the incident" or "what happened that night." The best way to move on and grow from whatever you have done is simply by saying it. It is important for me to accept "what I have done." You have a chance and choice to be who you want to be everyday. What you have done doesn't define who you are. I refuse to be the person who got drunk and drove today. I used to be the person that made that decision. I made that choice one day...several days actually. I can be thankful that no one was hurt, and I choose to never be that person again.

The fact is I can't change what I have done. I have unintentionally scared a lot of people.

Financially, yes there are currently legal fees I must deal with. I have made a decision to never drink ever again! I have come to realize that I will spend approximately $10,000 on legal fees. I spent about $40 (which may be modest) on alcohol or alcohol related events every week. If I save $40 a week I will save $10,000 in a matter of less than 5 years. Not only that but I am planning on going back to school to get a better career and help others. An MA in Counseling would take anywhere from 2-4 years depending on the quality of the program and credits. So I could make a decision to pick up a pen or pick up a beer. I am tired of being depressed. I am tired of falling short of my expectations. The only person and thing I can blame it on is myself and alcohol. The only person who can change my future is me!
N8586 N8586 31-35, M Jan 18, 2013

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