From Escaping The Abusive Words To The Abusive Self"Woe to me, whose abusive and yet supportive God loving guardians I had misunderstood. Woe to me, whose heart and soul was left being gnawed by a pain. Woe to me, whose forgiveness is shallow I am so weak and blind to see. Woe to me, yet again - Whose mind conspired along with the clutches of a demon unseen. Woe to me, always again and again - Whose sanity is lost to even know where his been."
I now had realised why all the eyes that look into mine are eyes of resentment. Eyes that see and know of this dysfunctional soul. Oh how I have wondered of it before. But now all is clear. I was the deviant amongst the God loving kinsmen that surrounds me. The devil had out-wit my soul to make able the commencement of a sin that made me blind - Blinded by self-inflicted defeatism which I carried and dragged untamed. Running wild in circles of fanaticism which lo and behold had cost me my mind. The enemy was I and my companion at hand. As he hides in joy, as he beats me with whispers with me he toys. I had fallen into a fallacy that belied myself. Oh God The-Almighty, The All-Wise. I now could only write letters to You to forgive me now. Your bounties that you have bestowed upon me - I overlooked them and to You and only to You I confide and I seek help. For there is no soul that knows this self any more better than You. My kinsmen I had betrayed for self-fulfilment. The disease I let loose in my heart I had let breed. I have to leave this companion and restore the wealth of my faith. I beg of You O' Lord to overlook my case. For this is a soul whose opposer is his weakness. I am my worst enemy whose heart is blind - No light to see.
Unnorm 18-21, M 0 Jan 21, 2013