Everything I Do Holds Me Down

Everyone always tells me I am a nice person and everything, but I refuse to believe them, and instead choose to believe that they are just trying to be nice. All the things I tell myself keep me from really doing what I want to do, but I just don't see myself as good enough. Out of everybody, there is only one person truly holding me back, and that is myself.
Distanced Distanced
18-21, M
13 Responses Jan 10, 2007

Alright, I recommend the book "Power of the Subconscious Mind." I also recommend exercise and reading other books. Power of the Subconscious Mind will change your thinking habits and exercise and reading will change your attitudes.

The same goes with me, too. I wish life wouldn't be the way it is now.

I just joined today because I googled "someone to talk to". Your post in a lot of ways is my problem. I think some solo endeavours away from everyone who knows you might help. I moved away from all of my close friends to where my immediate family stays and it helped me find success. My problem is now Im super lonely.

i have failed at everything. <br />
and all the basics that other people achieve, i don't have them.<br />
now thatz total failure !

no one is perfect ~ we should be positive

i have had 36 years of self destruction. nothing ever changes. i want to kill my enemy and that enemy is myself. i dont have squat. i have 2 daughters but all iam good for is child support, And i can't even pay that, i am a poster boy loser. I live a meaningless BLAH life, I don't want to deal with me anymore. My mental handicaps are so engrained in me that i don't know how to translate the world around me. I'll probably just kill myself. I have rendered myself useless to my kids and myself.My time is near and i no longer fear it.

I feel that I'm my own worst enemy as well. Financially, Physically, Mentally. I destroy my friendships. I wrestle with God...I can't understand Him like I would like. <br />
<br />
There's this young girl I know, there is over 10 years age difference...she is getting married, I thought she was one of best friends yet I managed not to be happy for her...I wasn't invited to her celebration party, and all I can think about is when will it be my turn.<br />
<br />
But the the truth is I've had several turns, I'm so messed up emotionally and spiritually, that I pushed all the men that have been put in my path away. I'm mean to my friends. It seems that it should be easy to remedy this, but it's not.<br />
<br />
I've never been a Bridesmaid, yet I've had several "Best friends" get married. That's not good. There is something wrong with me. At this point, I'm very unlovable and I do myself no good.

I can so relate to this. I am a musician..song writer, have been a radio personality, completed nearly two degrees but due to ongoing depression, rsd, fibromyalgia, anxiety, and being on disability for my illnesses...feel like a complete failure. I've been through alot of traumatic experiences and have went to some therapy but everything just feels sooo hopeless right now. : ( I'm always the first person others reach out to yet i have trouble myself reaching out.. I never feel like i do anything well enough.

trying to figure out who you are is the worst and best feeling you will ever have. <br />
for me it was the worst.<br />
certain doors open to endless possibilites<br />
but others just open to lies

I am no psychiatrist, but I have personal experience here. My father constantly berated me and took the wind out of my sails. It's amazing how much influence that man had over me. It's even more strange that his legacy and hateful words still run in my mind as my words now.<br />
<br />
You and I must throw out the old sc<x>ript. I don't want to play in his movie anymore. I do realize this is hard, I have been trying to change for decades. Good Luck.

You're not alone in having this problem.

I understand and feel the same way to.

me too!