Gonna Loose My House, My Own Fault

I am a 46 yr. old single mom to a 14 yr. old son.  Nobody wants us and I tried to buy mens affections to find a way out of my lonliness.  My dad left physically when I was 11, emotionally he was not dedicated.  I wish he would have taught me how to value myself.  He threw my mother and I away like garbage and I always get jealous of happy families. 

I have foolishly given away all my money and now I face the desperate challenge of selling my belongings at a moving sale and hoping to have enough precious money for a house payment.  I have nobody to blame but myself.  I cannot seem to learn to value and take care of myself. 

I gave away my body as well, loved and lost in two months.  I am terrified about what the future holds and cannot believe what a foolish, lonely person I am.  I have taken care of my son alone his whole life, and I don't know how I will keep a roof over his head.  I have sinned so bad against the Lord.  I cannot expect to be blessed with the type of behavior I have exhibited.  I cannot seem to find hope in my future.  Please pray for me, thank you.

sech sech
46-50, F
Sep 21, 2009