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I Am Cluless

when i came here one and a half years ago i had only one thought, to open myself to others so that they will really understand me and appreciate me for my personalities(thats a lie), anyway the true reason was to break from my sorrow empty life... it never occured to me why i thought such

i truly sought friendship

did i get it?
are u kidding me : meme(was what i got)

people here(everywhere) are so involved in their life,that they get in that quicksand
and like the sand that gets easily blown away, their saviors are forgotten

people wine here so much that they miss an oppurtunity to see the opaque helping hands

well, when i sought for friendship i had two hands(2 people) reached out to me
but i dont know who let go first(for both the hands), maybe i pressed them too hard or idk

when i opened myself they did that too(at first) but as a saying goes
' honest people are fked first', it ringed me
everyone wants others to be honest but when one gets too honest,u become an alien or something we cant explain,since even e.t was loved too

tooo much things to say but these mere words wont explain anything
once i attained maturity(just seeing it) it took me, my world to another dimension

i have one(probably many) conclusion after thinking for nearly 4 years

1. we will love nothing permenantly, be it a person or a thing
after mere years the thing we loved becomes disgusting

2. we love certain things as long as it isnt ours, when it becomes ours then ^ repeats

3. no love ever obtained is real, it depends on the situation and the type of people they are
bcoz we are never the same, we are human beings with a complicated mind referred to as sixth sense. the thing we love today will be the one we hate tomo

4. nobody is honest(me inc),
we are always jealous
ego matters than people
afraid of every single one, (if u get it)

some may say that they arent these types, for them, 'i dont know and i dont care'
if u are really not these type, then can u explain why are u still living
simple, we arent Jesus or some person who really cared for the people
caring people are always mythical or whom we know just by some facts(Mother Teresa)

we are simply silly enough to hate others for their stupidity and love certain people for the same

any inbetween jokes i have written,was to tell others i'm a jovial guy and stuff like that.. others dont get it though or just dont mind.. why should they?
then i get it, to understand my jokes they should be like me or whatever
i'm tired of these bullsh...

i dont care who reads this
i aint coming no more
aSchizophrenic aSchizophrenic 18-21, M Mar 25, 2012

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