It's Not An Eating Disorder It's A Digesting Disorder.

I have always been a thin girl with a small frame but in the middle of my freshman year of college I started to have really bad problems with indigestion and heartburn. By the beginning of my sophomore year I had started cutting out the foods that triggered my problems. This included anything with tomatoes or tomato sauce, anything with citrus, juice, onions, beef, pickles, hotdogs, and most spices. I couldn't even digest vegetables and fruit bothered me too, except for bananas. I dropped down to 117 (I'm about 5' 6''), a weight I hadn't been since I was sixteen, at my very worst. I was gaunt and pale, my clothes stop fitting and my boobs and butt both got much smaller. I absolutely hated the way I looked.

The people who knew me never accused me of any kind of eating disorder because they knew I hated the way I looked and the kind of pain I was going through. But it was so hurtful to have people say, "I wish I had your problem." NO YOU DON'T!" You don't want to have to always be worrying about whether you'll be able to eat the things being offered in the cafeteria or if your pants will fit today. You don't want to feel like you have hell scratching up your esophagus and you're going to puke for several hours after you eat anything. You don't want to get to the point where you can't even tell the difference between a stomach ache and being hungry. Why would people say they wish they could go through the pain that's stopping you from eating normally? Don't they realize how hurtful that can be?

People who didn't know me that well would sometimes comment that I had some sort of an eating disorder, that I was too thin, etc. Please, be careful what you say to someone you may think is too thin. It was very hurtful to me to think I was an ugly Popsicle stick and not be able to eat because of the pain and have people imply that I was anorexic.

Thankfully I am doing much better now, have gotten back to a 120-125 that suits my frame much better, can eat many of the foods I couldn't then, and have managed to do pretty well without the heartburn meds I took for a while. But I still have people who try to tell me I'm too skinny, and honestly I still worry that I am unattractive at my weight. But it was hard work to weigh this much and I want to be where I am now. I still struggle with food but I don't have an eating disorder, I have a digesting disorder.
Crystal929 Crystal929
Jul 11, 2010