Too Weird For Love

 I met my ex-girlfriend 8 years ago. It was my senior year of college, and until this point of my life I have never been kissed or have been in any form of a relationship. I attributed my lack of a "love life" to my rather husky exterior (Ok, I was FAT!) but by the second year of college I was able to shed most of my unwanted pounds (All 70 pounds of it!) and was even deemed by my friends as being "buff". It was a great time of my life, but despite making a change in my exterior appearance I was still single for the next two years. It was a strange feeling, despite feeling healthy and full of confidence all the people that I liked never felt the same way towards me. This led me to believe that I was too weird for love...

To describe me briefly: I love comic books, video games, non-fiction literature (more specifically stuff about history and the social sciences), long-winded philosophical discussions, discussing religion and religious history (although I don't go to church or am in any way god-fearing), 80's music, incessant ranting (obviously), sex (I'm a guy duhh...), cartoons, aliens (because I saw a flying saucer outside my window when I was 12), musicals and playing the didgeridoo to name a few. I guess I'm weird because women where I'm from like stability. They want a guy who is dependent, a good provider and has a nice car. To some of you this maybe normal, but where I'm from I'm pretty geeky! And no one wants to end up with the GEEK!        

Back to my story, I met her on a blind date set-up by my sister. I remember my sister mentioning this same person to me during my high school days when she first said we should meet, but it never happened. Some four years later she repeats the same name again and this time it happens. Her name was Kween and we met in a restaurant right outside my university. She was charming from the get go, always laughing and full of energy. Then she said to me point blank that I was unattractive (Gasp! I know, what a ***** right?!). I was shocked! I was half expecting her to retort that I was at least a fun conversationalist or something, but none ever came. An hour and a half later (I was cursing my sister in my mind at this point) we exchanged plessantries and I quickly went to find my friends to soothe my wounded ego. Two hours after the date Kween gives me a ring on my celphone and profusely apologizes for what she has done, even begging me for a second date. To cut a long story short we became good friends and one fateful afternoon under a cashew tree during archaeological field school (more weird interests) we fell in love.

Flash forward six and half years later and we are both 27 years old. At this point we are still very much in love with each other, but her biological clock is ticking harder than it ever has and she begins to talk about the "M" word (matrimony, marriage, motherhood, masochistic melodrama - go figure!). Me on the other hand, I'm thinking that I've barely been able to accomplish anything in my life up to this point, and to get married is the last thing I want to do. Even her older sister agrees with me! If I'm looking to get married  I want to know that I'm doing it when I'm good and ready. To put it bluntly, I need to put ME first! Of course after intensive discussions she breaks up with me and I've been single for the past year and a half. I've tried dating different kinds of people (strangely all beginning with the letter E), but without much success. Its not that I'm a love sick hopeless romantic, but being with someone special does rank rather high in my "wants box". After breaking up with her I found myself pursuing various interests (yes, even more than before) like finishing my masters degree, taking up singing and teaching to name a few. I'm thinking that it must be that I'm too weird for love because I don't think people want to end up with a geek like me and I'm having too much fun to have it any other way. 



durkheim091508 durkheim091508
26-30, M
5 Responses Oct 18, 2009

Hey. Really enjoyed hearing your story. Mostly i am glad to hear that you are actually enjoying life in spite of the fact that the dating thing isn't exactly satisfying. I think there is a lot of hope for you. Speaking as a somewhat geeky and alien female, I can say there are a lot of us who would rather be with someone left of center and more cerebral than the typical guy with the flashy car who can't talk about much more than sports or himself. I can tell that you are unique and have a warm sense of humor. I don't detect any bitterness or blame going on. Wow. So what are you doing, just trying to go out with shallow chicks? Honestly, there are women who will appreciate you... hang in there! Just knowing there's a straight guy out there who appreciates 80s music....... makes my knees all weak! Hang in there ! ; )

we all need that once in awhile and sometimes even more than that.....keep your chin up :)

Thanks for the support, your positive energy gets me going in the morning.

I like geeks; there is nothing wrong with being a geek at all. <br />
If you like what you're doing it shouldn't matter what other people think. :P<br />
Keep doing what you're doing; you'll meet the right girl.

I think you sound like fun. If love found you once it can and will find you again. Weird is fun, it's who you are. Yes we all could use a "change" in ourselves from time to time, but for the most part we should remain true to ourselves. Be you. And maybe find a different letter of the alphibet to date. Lol. Good luck