Nothing Is Ever Good Enough......

I don't know why but nothing is ever good enough for me - ever.  I suppose it's what makes me good at sales?  Being greedy I suppose would be one way of looking at it I dunno for me it's like this...

I have a decent life, a good job, great friends, all creature comforts and still I find something to moan about.  For a few years now I have been looking for a woman to share my life with, to have children with, to build a life with.  During that time I had many opportunities and always found something wrong... not intelligent enough, not pretty enough, talked in the wrong way (filthy mouth or horrible accent).  I know how this sounds believe me, I know it's ridiculous.

Anyway, I knew this one girl for a while she is great intelligent, fun to talk to we get along great etc... so I spent ages getting to know her - all groovy. Took me a long time to ask her out I did so and things have been amazing, she moved in very quickly, we are engaged and its all been great.

However, as I knew would happen when we got engaged my demenour changed I have become....serious.  I am taking work very seriously, all decisions etc... planning for a wedding getting ready for kids... I was worried she would get bored with the whole seriousness thing. she says she hasn't and there actually is no problem.

We get on great we think in the same way we know the other will talk through any issues, know we are faithful etc... In fact I've never had so much fun with someone

The thing is this - Is this really it? Life, I mean. Everyday will be exactly the same.

I have everything I want and now it's not enough.

I amlike this with everything. For example the house I bought, now I want a bigger better one, the novelty wore off after a few months. The motorbike same thing. Car same thing. Previous girlfriends haven't even lasted this long before I'm bored and I'm not bored just questioning if this is it.

Why is nothing, no matter how good, never enough?

lemonslice lemonslice
26-30
8 Responses Feb 11, 2009

maybe

a.) the reason relationships are falling apart FOR THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE (in this case, nothing seems satisfying) is because advancements in technology are prying us away from who we actually are. it's the root of a lot of different problems that basically lead to the same thing: emptiness. everything is done for us so we look for satisfaction in meaningless things. CREATE MEANINGFUL THINGS.

b.) i came from a childhood where i didn't have anything. my mom didn't even buy me tampons and deodorant when since i was 13-14 and all my clothes were hand-me-downs. i'm telling you this because my whole childhood i grew up with this very small wishlist of things that all the other kids always had. when i finally got them (many years later), not only did they suddenly stop mattering, but i realized who i was when i didn't have all those things made me stronger, and the quality of the person i was decreased dramatically after getting them. this in my experience has happened after obtaining any material possession. not having what everyone else has or the things you think you need, force you to be creative, to shape the world into something that allows you to be whatever you want and be free no matter what, with no restrictions.

b.) (part 2) buying a motorbike or car has nothing to do with anything. use material things in a positive way. if you're bored, take your significant other on a surprise motorcycle trip somewhere new. if you're both spending a night on computers, send her a surprise email about how much of a positive impact she has made on your life, let her know how she is different from the rest, or just send a simple silly message that will interrupt serious **** she is doing. it will encourage her to do the same for you. if you aren't going to use these things to make yourself happy, there is no point in buying them, and you will be disappointed. you create your own life. the number one thing i have learned is when i get comfortable in a relationship and develop a routine, i want out. so don't blame it on the other person if this is a common problem in all your past relationships, which relate to YOU. you can change your own reality. get creative with your life. surprise your partner. you won't regret it.

c. you are in charge of your life. you control whether you are happy or not, not her. it sounds like your relationship is something a lot of people wish for, and i can relate, because i typed "nothing is ever good enough" in google, hoping for some kind of answer to my problem. instead i found your problem, and in answering your detailed description of why you're having this problem i have helped myself. reading what i have wrote will not fix your problem. it takes a lot of work. and you can't lose who you are by pretending to be someone else with your partner. you picked her for a reason, right now, whatever the future holds. try your best. go out of your comfort zone. tell her what you're going through and that you are struggling. she may be able to help you, after all, you chose to be in a relationship with her. just be honest.

it's not that hard to understand someone could go through this, and who knows, maybe she can relate, and maybe you can help each other grow. it could open up a new level of communication. or maybe not. that's the beauty of a relationship.

Add a response...

You have done it over and over that's my point. You say I don't do ****. You look at what I don't do. But you don't look at what I DO. You will never be satisfied. With me. Kids work life anything. You are on a fast track at being your MoM. I don't know how else to explain it. Always mad upset disappointed victim etc... Yaya is not good enough caleb just can't do right and Nenay annoys you and me we'll I will never be what YOU expect. No one ever will. I often wonder how bad or where Juan really went wrong. I'm sure he had his faults but I have learned that nothing or anyon will ever be right or good enough for your standards or your idea of perfect. Which is what you expect. My current spouse just text mw this, my life in a nutshell! I NEED to change or I will lose him and my kids due to my behavior. I do not know why Im never happy or nothing is good enough. HELP

From your responses I can tell that you will never learn. You basically admitted that the novelty of your home and motorbike wore off after a short time, and yet set yourself up to learn that exact same lesson by pursuing an even bigger home and nicer car, and wasting your time in the process. Can't adjust expectations? Have fun wasting your life by failing to learn one lesson, you'll never be satisfied, no matter what you get.

I wrote this 2 1/2 years ago and having re-read it and the comments - it's all about expectations.<br />
<br />
PinUpPaige - essentially you are saying lower your expectations of life etc. and counselling sorry but I believe its only for the weak willed. For example; I was addicted to heroin when I was 16 but I kicked that myself. I smoked for 16 years and kicked that myself. It is always mind over matter. <br />
<br />
Just because someone has ambition and wants more and more doesnt mean they are unhappy in themselves. I am not having a dig, i'm sure you are a lovely person i just disagree with lowering my standards.<br />
<br />
kweiem - your last line sums it up<br />
<br />
flames55550 - I think you are right, most people want a nice house or whatever but are happy just to dream about it<br />
<br />
Anyway since writing this I have sety up my own busines which in a recession is doing fairly well and in 5 years I should have it all.<br />
<br />
So I guess what I am saying is dont adjust your expectations just try and get what you want. <br />
<br />
As for my mrs she's still awesome, I guess I may need to get a younger model when she gets to 40 but then again I'll be 53 then so a 21 year old should do it ;).<br />
<br />
We all feel down sometimes it's how we use that energy and what we turn it into.<br />
<br />
I have a great life house, fiancee and lovely toys but I wnat a bigger house, an Aston Martin and a £25k watch so I'll just have to work harder.

I googled "why is never anything enough" and this popped up. I feel the same way, although i also tend to over think things, so i get bored of things ....before they even happen. No matter where I go or what I do I have to have the best and then that just gets old. People like us are the type that GET the best, but unfortunately, we are the ones that it doesn't satisfy. We can have the whole world and no matter what, it will never be enough. Though I have found that the simplistic of simple things in the purest form come as the solution, only sometimes though. It seems as though the less we have, the more we want, but the less we get bored with life. I don't think there are too many people that feel this way though.

I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way everyday. Is this really it? Feels like a short story from beginning to end with everything being mundane. Even the adventures I plan for the future aren't enough to keep me interested in today. I already have kids, 3 gorgeous and intelligent children that I should be pushing at everyone because of how amazing they are. Its just....for me, this is all I have and Im almost 30? I expected so much more.

Maybe because you don't stop and smell the roses. There is beauty in every facet of this life. Children are wonderful but they should only come if you and your partner are really ready and commited becasue children change EVERYTHING!! Sounds like you could use some counselling. I imagine you have some deep seated insecurities from your past. <br />
I have issues too and I have sought counselling. I suggest you deal with it, it could ruin your plans and dreams.<br />
love yourself deeply